Apple's Secrets Revealed

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Comments

  • Reply 21 of 40
    smacstevesmacsteve Posts: 85member
    Great story, I laughed my ass off!
  • Reply 22 of 40
    andersanders Posts: 6,523member
    22, January? Are you sure?
  • Reply 23 of 40
    artman @_@artman @_@ Posts: 2,546member
    Hi, I'm Johnny Knocksville and I'm going to artificially inseminate a cow.
  • Reply 24 of 40
    murkmurk Posts: 935member
    I'm hiding in the closet now. I peeked out and saw the weirdest thing. Phil came in and unzipped his pants. He reached in and pulled out a power cord and plugged it into the wall. He then sat on the couch and immediately went to sleep. Can this be real? Phil is a cyborg? Oh my God! His eyes are open now, and he's just sitting there with this strange, unblinking stare. He's looking in my direction. I think he hears me typing.



    [ 01-11-2002: Message edited by: murk ]</p>
  • Reply 25 of 40
    gyroscopegyroscope Posts: 68member
    <a href="http://h002078c7889d.ne.mediaone.net/~overstim/imacdance/"; target="_blank">So the iMac can really dance?</a>
  • Reply 26 of 40
    murkmurk Posts: 935member
    It all seems like a dream? my whole life and even this moment. I awoke to Steve leaning his familiar flat face over me, his rectangular halo glowing in the hazy, bright light. ?We?ve already installed the G5,? he said. He then turned to an observer and said, ?Remember, Moki, this is all covered by your NDA. As far as those AI bastards are concerned, this is strictly off the radar screen.? ?Sure, Steve,? Moki replied. ?I kept the Kormac secret didn?t I?? Steve laughed and barked, ?Wait till you see the funny shit I?m posting next!? Suddenly he grew serious and leaned toward me again. ?It might hurt a little when we install the Gigawire.? He glanced toward my lower regions and said, ?Go ahead, Jon.? I could feel a metal probe being shoved up my Gigawire port. I screamed, ?That?s cold!? Steve yelled, ?Damn it, Jon! I told you to always warm it up.? Jon giggled. Then, suddenly, everything was different. I was online, surfing to AI once again. My hands and feet are still bound, so I am inputting this post by just thinking. It?s wonderful. Wait? They are talking again. Jon is saying something, ?He needs more brainwashing, Master. He?s on AI again.? Steve is screaming, ?Shut him doooooooown??



    [ 01-29-2002: Message edited by: murk ]



    [ 03-31-2002: Message edited by: murk ]</p>
  • Reply 27 of 40
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    That must be a great batch of LSD... <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />



    That, or you're a schizophrenic. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 28 of 40
    willoughbywilloughby Posts: 1,457member
    Can someone tell me why this is in Future Hardware?



    <img src="confused.gif" border="0">
  • Reply 29 of 40
    logan calelogan cale Posts: 1,281member
    Because it is future hardware.
  • Reply 30 of 40
    alpha macalpha mac Posts: 463member
    LOL, this is a most amusing thread. <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 31 of 40
    ryanthegreatryanthegreat Posts: 359member
    Bump! Great thread
  • Reply 32 of 40
    andersanders Posts: 6,523member
    Hmm. Did you get to talk to anyone about why the new Powermacs were delayed almost a week?
  • Reply 33 of 40
    murkmurk Posts: 935member
    Those bastards! Its so obvious that the idea for new iMac commercial, where the iMac mocks the movements of the guy on the street, was stolen by someone reading my story above. The wheels are already in motion for a massive lawsuit. Don't be surprised if I end up owning Apple. Don't worry, though, I'll keep Steve and the rest of the team on. The only changes will be:



    1. Immediate release of the G5.

    2. We will actually listen to your feature requests for Os X.

    3. As a service to fellow members, I plan to implement every half-baked idea posted in the Future Hardware Forum (In return for this favor, you have to promise not to sue.)

    4. Institute a new, open rumor leaking policy. AI gets everything first.





    [ 03-08-2002: Message edited by: murk ]</p>
  • Reply 34 of 40
    mattyjmattyj Posts: 898member
    This is a great thread, lol, it had me laughing for some time, a very creative mind you have there Murk.
  • Reply 35 of 40
    xionjaxionja Posts: 504member
    Bravo, for 3 minutes of laughter!
  • Reply 36 of 40
    ghost_user_nameghost_user_name Posts: 22,667member
    don't dredge up old shit.



  • Reply 37 of 40
    tednditedndi Posts: 1,921member
    I want my plasma mac!!
  • Reply 38 of 40
    murkmurk Posts: 935member
    Oops! I thought Jonathan locked this with his pithy remark above. Sorry for dredging it up again with a link.
  • Reply 39 of 40
    gregmightdothatgregmightdothat Posts: 1,709member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by TednDi

    I want my plasma mac!!



    Quote:

    Originally posted by Jonathan

    don't dredge up old shit.







  • Reply 40 of 40
    andersanders Posts: 6,523member
    Just because Einstein was a great man, would you really want to put life into his corpe at this point?



    Thanks God this was locked long time ago:



    http://forums.appleinsider.com/showt...0&pagenumber=1
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