The funniest joke in the world?

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
I was just told by a rebutable source that what you are about to read is the funniest joke in the world

Take it how you will, I liked it.





Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.



Holmes and Watson are camping. It is dark. We begin:



HOLMES: Watson, look up , and tell me what you deduce.

WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely that there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.

HOLMES: Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!



edit: actual transcribtion of joke...not my crumby rendition



[ 03-05-2002: Message edited by: Wrong Robot ]



[ 03-05-2002: Message edited by: Wrong Robot ]</p>

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 18
    Hahaha, I love it!

    However Im still rather partial to:

    Two men walk into a bar, ouch!
  • Reply 2 of 18
    willoughbywilloughby Posts: 1,457member
    Does this have anything to do with that study about what is funny, or whatever it was called? I think they came up with this one because it was the one that the most people laughed at. So they claimed it was the funniest.
  • Reply 3 of 18
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    [quote]Originally posted by Willoughby:

    <strong>Does this have anything to do with that study about what is funny, or whatever it was called? I think they came up with this one because it was the one that the most people laughed at. So they claimed it was the funniest.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    yea

    only it was voted funniest
  • Reply 4 of 18
    bellebelle Posts: 1,574member
    [quote]Originally posted by Willoughby:

    <strong>Does this have anything to do with that study about what is funny, or whatever it was called? I think they came up with this one because it was the one that the most people laughed at. So they claimed it was the funniest.</strong><hr></blockquote>

    Surely that means the joke is the lowest common denominator, not the funniest?
  • Reply 5 of 18
    powerdocpowerdoc Posts: 8,123member
    [quote]Originally posted by Wrong Robot:

    <strong>I was just told by a rebutable source that what you are about to read is the funniest joke in the world

    Take it how you will, I liked it.





    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.



    Holmes and Watson are camping. It is dark. We begin:



    HOLMES: Watson, look up , and tell me what you deduce.

    WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely that there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.

    HOLMES: Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!



    edit: actual transcribtion of joke...not my crumby rendition



    ]</strong><hr></blockquote>



    This joke has a world wide success, i hear it a month ago
  • Reply 6 of 18
    *thinks of the Monty Python skit*



    it's WWII and some british guy came up with a joke so funny that he died. they used a team of lingusts to translate the joke to german. one accedently saw 2 words and had to be hospotilised.



    once it was translated, the trasnlation was tought to the british army where they shouted it to the germans. the armymen not knowing german arn't harmed, but the germans OTOH keel over laughing and die...



    well the skit was funnier if you saw it....
  • Reply 7 of 18
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    THE JOKE



    person a:My dog has no nose.

    person b:then how does he smell?

    Person a: awful



    har har har
  • Reply 8 of 18
    Speaking of lowest common denominators, here's a somewhat off-color joke. This is going to destroy my reputation so you'd better laugh.



    Two cowboys from Texas walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking a beer and talking about the current cow prices.



    Suddenly a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.



    One of the cowboys looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head. The cowboy walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the cowboy walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer.



    His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it before."



    [ 03-06-2002: Message edited by: roger_ramjet ]</p>
  • Reply 9 of 18
    Nope, no George Carlin this time (he doesn't really do jokes...more like "observations").



    <a href="http://www.meer.net/~mtoy/steven_wright.html"; target="_blank">Steven Wright:</a>



    For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...



    So then I filled the humidifier with wax and left it on. Now everything in my house is shiny.



    Or...



    "I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'."



    I could go on...ok...



    One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl...I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?," and she said, "I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem." So I asked, "What's the problem?" She replied, "I can't tell you. I don't even know you..." I said, "Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus." So she said, "Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys...by the way, my name is Dennis." I said, "Hello, Dennis. My name is Bucky Goldstein..."



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 10 of 18
    Standup does NOT work in text <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 11 of 18
    kaboomkaboom Posts: 286member
    The girls' name was Dennis? <img src="confused.gif" border="0">
  • Reply 12 of 18
    [quote]Originally posted by kaboom:

    <strong>The girls' name was Dennis? :confused: </strong><hr></blockquote>I wondered the same thing... <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" /> It must be a gay joke. I usually don't understand those either.



    : ducks :



    [ 03-06-2002: Message edited by: starfleetX ]</p>
  • Reply 13 of 18
    buonrottobuonrotto Posts: 6,368member
    [quote]Originally posted by Belle:

    <strong>

    Surely that means the joke is the lowest common denominator, not the funniest? </strong><hr></blockquote>



    Wouldn't that be the (oh-so unfunny) Man-being-hit-in-the-nuts? litmus test?
  • Reply 14 of 18
    falconfalcon Posts: 458member
    Your names Dick Army?

    Whats your wifes name?

    Vagina Coast Guard?!



    Sorry couldnt resist.
  • Reply 15 of 18
    Wouldn't that be the (oh-so unfunny) Man-being-hit-in-the-nuts? litmus test?



    I always thought that it would be some sort of literarry PUN-ishment.
  • Reply 16 of 18
    [quote]Originally posted by kaboom:

    <strong>The girls' name was Dennis? :confused: </strong><hr></blockquote>



    Steven Wright's comedy borders...no IS surrealism. That last one is so funny because it is so absurd.



    It's true...you have to hear and see Steven Wright perform...he has a slow and monotone voice. And he looks like this...



  • Reply 17 of 18
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    [quote]Originally posted by Artman @_@:

    <strong>



    Steven Wright's comedy borders...no IS surrealism. That last one is so funny because it is so absurd.



    It's true...you have to hear and see Steven Wright perform...he has a slow and monotone voice. And he looks like this...



    </strong><hr></blockquote>



    i've seen him on Conan a few times, and on comedy central, and wasn't he "the guy on the couch" from half-baked...oo that reminds me I have a half pint of phish food in the freezer yum
  • Reply 18 of 18
    matsumatsu Posts: 6,558member
    Nah,



    Some of you have heard it before; the funniest joke begins...



    What's the difference between an orange?



    Answer: A telephone pole. Because a motorcycle has no doors.
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