Firstly, let's clear up this football business once and for all. The British call Football, Football. Australians call Football, soccer but they know this is wrong and that its real name is Football. They only do it to annoy the British. Australians sometimes call Australian Rules Football and Rugby League, "football", but they know this is also inaccurate. The British and Australians call what Americans play, grid-iron. They know it has no relationship whatsoever to any of the games they correctly or incorrectly call football or soccer because it is:
1. stupid
2. played by a bunch of wusses wearing padding and helmuts
Just to recap:
- Football is Football
- Soccer is Footbal
- Football is the correct name for soccer
- AFL and Rugby League are sometimes called football but they are not Football
- What Americans play is not Football or football, it is grid-iron
- Grid-iron is stupid and played by wusses
Anders is 29 and a member of the all-male striptease dance troupe The Funky Hunks of Spunk Punks. He performs in clubs throughout Europe to enthusiastic audiences of lonely women desperate to catch a glimpse of his manhood. The group also merchandise their own line of sex toys. The range known as Andy's Toy Box includes The Anders Pleasure Maker, The Dandy Handy Randy Andy, and The His-And-Hers Limited Edition Dildo, each one of which has been personally signed by Anders and comes with a certificate of authenticity.
Existence is a 13.7 billion year old (6,000 in creationist years) extraterrestrial. While his civilization has already solved problems like faster-than-light space travel and the secret of eternal life, they have never managed to invent ice cream. When members of his race returned to their home planet from Earth with ice cream samples, the society became enchanted with the frozen milk confection and determined to produce it. They have transported whole herds of Jersey cows to their world to supply the raw materials for their ice cream research. However, they have been unable to master the art of churning. Despite becoming proficient at producing sorbet, gelato, slushies and frozen yoghurt, making a rich creamy ice cream continues to elude them.
EmAn is the 17 year old son of Existence. Driven to the point of despair by their inability to churn, the leaders of their home world decided to sanction a breeding programme between Existence and an Earth woman, in the hope that combining their DNAs might produce a competent churner. EmAn is the product of that unnatural union. So far he has shown little talent for churning. However, he was runner-up in the 2004 International Pizza Throwing Competition, throwing his dough to a height of 34 feet and missing out on first place by a mere two inches.
Placebo is a normal, slightly precocious 14 year old from the USA. Unbeknownst to him, his parents have been trying to sell him into slavery for several months. They have placed the following advertisement on several shady web sites and eBay:
For Sale: White child, male, 14 years. Healthy. Currently well fed. Toilet trained. High intelligence. May require some re-education. With regular beatings should prove useful for wide range of activities including mine work, goat herding, rebel army fighter, drug and gun running, construction, satisfying of sexual perversions etc. Photographs and medical report available upon request. Must sell. $450 (neg.) Clothing and shoes included.
Comments
Originally posted by Placebo
14, and aging way too fast.
Originally posted by Powerdoc
If I was in high school right now, I wouldn't be a god, just a pedophile
you sure those are different?
Originally posted by Powerdoc
Well, the whole prospect of not being able to mooch off my parents is looming closer and closer by the day.
Originally posted by Giaguara
you sure those are different?
It's depends on the syntax
Originally posted by Placebo
Well, the whole prospect of not being able to mooch off my parents is looming closer and closer by the day.
Yeah , you just stated the point of vue of your parents
1. stupid
2. played by a bunch of wusses wearing padding and helmuts
Just to recap:
- Football is Football
- Soccer is Footbal
- Football is the correct name for soccer
- AFL and Rugby League are sometimes called football but they are not Football
- What Americans play is not Football or football, it is grid-iron
- Grid-iron is stupid and played by wusses
Anders is 29 and a member of the all-male striptease dance troupe The Funky Hunks of Spunk Punks. He performs in clubs throughout Europe to enthusiastic audiences of lonely women desperate to catch a glimpse of his manhood. The group also merchandise their own line of sex toys. The range known as Andy's Toy Box includes The Anders Pleasure Maker, The Dandy Handy Randy Andy, and The His-And-Hers Limited Edition Dildo, each one of which has been personally signed by Anders and comes with a certificate of authenticity.
Existence is a 13.7 billion year old (6,000 in creationist years) extraterrestrial. While his civilization has already solved problems like faster-than-light space travel and the secret of eternal life, they have never managed to invent ice cream. When members of his race returned to their home planet from Earth with ice cream samples, the society became enchanted with the frozen milk confection and determined to produce it. They have transported whole herds of Jersey cows to their world to supply the raw materials for their ice cream research. However, they have been unable to master the art of churning. Despite becoming proficient at producing sorbet, gelato, slushies and frozen yoghurt, making a rich creamy ice cream continues to elude them.
EmAn is the 17 year old son of Existence. Driven to the point of despair by their inability to churn, the leaders of their home world decided to sanction a breeding programme between Existence and an Earth woman, in the hope that combining their DNAs might produce a competent churner. EmAn is the product of that unnatural union. So far he has shown little talent for churning. However, he was runner-up in the 2004 International Pizza Throwing Competition, throwing his dough to a height of 34 feet and missing out on first place by a mere two inches.
Placebo is a normal, slightly precocious 14 year old from the USA. Unbeknownst to him, his parents have been trying to sell him into slavery for several months. They have placed the following advertisement on several shady web sites and eBay:
For Sale: White child, male, 14 years. Healthy. Currently well fed. Toilet trained. High intelligence. May require some re-education. With regular beatings should prove useful for wide range of activities including mine work, goat herding, rebel army fighter, drug and gun running, construction, satisfying of sexual perversions etc. Photographs and medical report available upon request. Must sell. $450 (neg.) Clothing and shoes included.
The Sewdish Chef AKA Der Gøød Køøker Yøøbetcha, Chef.
Gee I enjoyed having the opportunity to use the word "manhood". It's so quaint.
Lars and I are thinking about putting in a bid for Placebo on eBay.
slightly precocious
evreybody's smarter on teh internet, lol!