Spanking children

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
Should children be spanked? I'm curious about this, because almost all of us (at least in the US, I'm not sure about other countries) were spanked, and most people say it's OK to spank. But why is it OK?



I'm wondering mostly about the morality of it. Normally you're not allowed to use physical force to change people's behavior. Your boss can't hit you for not doing your work. So why is it OK for parents to hit kids?
«134

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 69
    I find it rather immoral to do so. IMO it teaches children that violence is a suitable form of control. Parents should be capable of finding other ways of disciplining children.
  • Reply 2 of 69
    alcimedesalcimedes Posts: 5,486member
    well, i had this whole wonderful thing written out about it, then decided it was crap.



    i have no idea why it works so well, all i know is that it does. especially with me, nothing short of physical pain/humilliation was enough to get me to behave as a kid. looking back i know i deserved it and it did me a lot of good, but i'll be damned if i can explain why.



    i guess if nothing else it teaches you to mind your parents or else you get hurt.



    but seriously, i think that sometimes to younger kids, the deeper meaning of right and wrong is a bit hard to grasp. avoidence of pain is a bit easier. let the moral rights and wrongs come into play as they get older, and use spanking to keep them in line during the growing up period.



    eventually they get old enough that other punishment methods are effective, and you work your way off spanking.
  • Reply 3 of 69
    outsideroutsider Posts: 6,008member
    I was spanked as a kid, but I don't think I learned anything from being spanked. Actually I kind of resented it. I resented it because it wasn't the kind of spanking that really hurt (I wasn't beaten or abused ever) but physical punishment was nothing compared to not getting to watch TV for a week or not being able to play outside or video games. Even being grounded worked better.



    I wouldn't spank my kids when I do have them.
  • Reply 4 of 69
    alcimedesalcimedes Posts: 5,486member
    so what do you do in the case of a kid who doesn't care if you take away TV or ground them? what works when they don't just do what you tell them to do? (i ask because this is how i was. just 'cause my parents told me to do something didn't mean i had to do it, unless they made me)
  • Reply 5 of 69
    hmurchisonhmurchison Posts: 12,271member
    Hmmmmm let me speak for the kids. Depends really. I was spanked growing up and in ways it was much better than groundings and having other priveledges taken away because spanking was only momentary discomfort. I will spank my child but only in the rarest of circumstances and once my child is able to communicate with me effectively I will stop the spankings. Teaching is more important but discipline is a vital component. There has to be rules and consequences for broken rules.
  • Reply 6 of 69
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    Everyone, at one point another, needs a little ass-whippin'.







    I don't know. I don't have kids and I've never been in a position where I'm responsible for one, so I'm probably not able to approach this in the right way.



    I was spanked as a young child (once I got to be about 10 or so, Mom and Dad figured out that denying me my Kenner Millenium Falcon or 2 weeks without "The Dukes of Hazzard" was a more effective form of punishment).







    For a young child, perhaps a couple of swats on the butt isn't the end of the world? Who knows.



    It's a LONG, LONG way from that to full-tilt abuse with a hammer or whatever.







    If kids ARE spanked, there's a way to do it, both physically AND accompanied with perhaps a talk or something. I would imagine that - like in my case - unless the kid is a complete sociopath or demonically possessed, it shouldn't take tons of tons of spankings. If that's the case, then it's obvious spanking doesn't work.



    But I had very lenient and cool parents, but there were times when I certainly crossed the line and was popped on the butt. Being the wholesome, swell guy that I am, I quickly learned that I didn't like the pain (temporary, of course) OR embarrassment, so I can probably count on one hand the number of spankings I got.



    It was easier just to mind and not be a brat, I guess.







    Certainly better than a spanking!



    I hate to see people in public wailing away on their kids, though. That makes me wince and is quite embarrassing. Part of me wants to go "look, asshead...you're not getting ANYWHERE with that approach...you're just going to end up in jail getting anally raped and your kid is going to be a ward of the state...".







    But if I see a kid being a complete shithead and his parent(s) have tried everything else, I certainly don't mind seeing a couple of pops on the butt, because, to be honest, in many, many cases, that seemed to be the ONLY thing that worked.



    These are just my thoughts and opinions. Take them for what you will.
  • Reply 7 of 69
    One thing to consider is what constitutes a 'spanking'. When I was young, a 'spanking' involved a belt, often times leaving welts on my legs. It left me with some serious lingering resentments of my father. I have sworn never to use that kind of punishment with a child. If a 'spanking' is called for (and in the real world it occasionally is) always use your hand, never an object. By using your hand you will appreciate the force you are using a great deal more. Spanking should be a last resort, only used on the rarest of occasions to really emphasize the wrongness of a certain behavior.
  • Reply 8 of 69
    [quote] If kids ARE spanked, there's a way to do it, both physically AND accompanied with perhaps a talk or something. <hr></blockquote>



    I am 100% in agreeance with this... When I was young and on RARE occasions I was spanked... but it was followed by a talk when I had calmed down. My parents would explain that they loved me more than anything and then why I was spanked... that what I did was wrong and that there are consequences to any and all actions. I dunno, at the time it sounded corny but looking back at it I'm glad they did what they did.



    As far as these (what I like to call them) moral pussies (pardon my french) that like to sit down with a 5 year old who just forked the neighbors kid in the eye and try to RATIONALIZE with him/her why that was wrong and not providing them with any consequence other than a lecture from mom... THAT should be morally wrong. I see this WAY too often in the kids *ahem* I mean axe murderers being raised at my church. Little girl says she wants waffles for breakfast... mom says that they're running late so she'll have to live with Cereal. Little girl get's pissed, opens the fridge and dumps a gallon of milk on the floor... Mom just smiles and says "Isn't that cute how she expresses her anger?"



    No it ain't cute you DUMB lady... she's a little brat who needs a butt whoopin and a STERN talking to on the polite ways to socialize and express ones dislike of a situation



    Or the other lady who lets both of her kids (ages 5 and 9) run up and down the aisles of the santuary DURING a silent prayer, screaming and throwing stuff at each other...



    When confronted by the preacher she simply says "I don't believe in spanking or disiplining my children" (no wonder they're psycho... they don't know what WRONG is)



    Anyway... I too will spank my daughter, IF and when she has done something to warrant a spanking. no belts, shoes, paddles, fly swatters, etc... just a hand... and AFTERWARDS, I will tell her WHY she was spanked and WHY what she did was wrong.



    Mac Guru
  • Reply 8 of 69
    alcimedesalcimedes Posts: 5,486member
    blue2kdave, i would agree with you about the hand thing, except that it wasn't enough when i was a kid.



    my mom used to spank me by hand, and i'd just look at her and ask her if that was all she had. she'd spank me until her hand was bruised and i'd be laughing.



    (ok, so i was a bit masochistic as a kid)



    in any case, she had to move on to wooden spoons, which worked for a while until she broke one on me. then i thought i'd won, until she started keeping three on top of the fridge.



    from that point on i behaved 'cause i knew i wouldn't be able to go through three spoons.



    i only got the belt once, and that was enough for me.



    i still think that spanking was necessary in my case, although i'm sure some people here would qualify that as abuse.



    'course, they didn't have to try and keep me in line either.....



    edit: i should explain that i always knew i would get a spanking if i kept on with my behavior and chose to do so anyway. i was also talked to and told why afterward, and that they did it because they loved me, that whole bit. also, i was probably only spanked a few dozen times total. after the multiple spoons i just gave up and started listening.



    [ 02-25-2002: Message edited by: alcimedes ]</p>
  • Reply 10 of 69
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    [quote]Originally posted by alcimedes:

    <strong>especially with me, nothing short of physical pain/humilliation was enough to get me to behave as a kid.</strong><hr></blockquote>Hmm, does it still work for you as an adult? I always wondered where those S & M people came from.





    But seriously, it sounds like the spanking didn't work at all for you. You just laughed about it. Maybe finding something that would have really gotten to you would have been even more effective?
  • Reply 11 of 69
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    Yes, an anal probe and 15 hours of "Gong Show" reruns.



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 12 of 69
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    I am down with spanking.



    What's with this "spanking or grounding?" talk, it's both, j00 fools.



    *smack* "Clean that up! You can't leave the house today, and no TV!"



    I was spanked 1 time as a child, and even that was unjust (my brother's fault, blamed it on my young ass). I was a good kid.
  • Reply 13 of 69
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    [quote]Originally posted by pscates:

    <strong>Yes, an anal probe and 15 hours of "Gong Show" reruns.</strong><hr></blockquote>Ahh, heaven on earth!



    Uh, wait a second...

    :eek:
  • Reply 14 of 69
    matsumatsu Posts: 6,558member
    I say spank 'em.



    It's OK cause they don't reason well enough to understand anything else. There's nothing more pathetic than watching a new age mom 'negotiate' with her spoiled brat tantrum pulling wanker.



    I like this example. If you're out in the yard with your child, and -- it only takes a second of inattention -- the little guy takes off towards the road. Car comes by. Screetch... child gets visibly shaken. You nearly shit yourself. The driver's heart is about to pound itself out of his chest. Everybody is scared, especially the kid. Good. No need to hit 'em there. The experience was enough.



    Replay. Same situation. Child takes off across the road. And there is no car. You 'explain' that though everything is alright this time, things could have been very bad. Child isn't convinced. You catch him trying the same tactic a few times, and stop him before he gets too far. Maybe he finds your explanation amusing? Who knows? One day you don't catch him. A car does.



    What do you think would hurt less for everyone involved: the palm of my hand, or the windsheild of that car?
  • Reply 15 of 69
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    [quote]There's nothing more pathetic than watching a new age mom 'negotiate' with her spoiled brat tantrum pulling wanker.<hr></blockquote>



    A-freakin'-men!



    Like the little bastards that scream their way through an entire movie or babble incessantly.



    Trying to watch LotR: FotR and little shithead in from of me keeps asking his dad stupid questions (in a loud, "I'm a stupid little kid" voice): "Daddy, why does that guy have a sword?"



    And his dad answers him and then says "shh".

    Obviously not too bright. "I will give you what you want, but I will lightly discourage the behavior."
  • Reply 16 of 69
    janejane Posts: 68member
    It is all a part of an entire upbringing. Like some of you said you have to find the ways that work with each child. For some spanking will work some being sent in a corner to look at a wall for some time will be more effective. But today's parents spend too much time trying to understand their children and sparing their feelings in consequence today's generation between 0 and 20 years old are the most selfish, rotten, uncaring, ennoying generation ever. They think that respecting others, working hard are the other person values and they are not about to sacrifice anything. To the teens on this board the world does not belong to you but to all of us and start making sacrifices if you want your children to have a descent world one day. Your parents do not owe you anything.



    [ 02-25-2002: Message edited by: Jane ]</p>
  • Reply 17 of 69
    [quote]Originally posted by Jane:

    <strong> today's generation between 0 and 20 years old are the most selfish, rotten, uncaring, ennoying generation ever. They think that respecting others, working hard are the other person values and they are not about to sacrifice anything. To the teens on this board the world does not belong to you but to all of us and start making sacrifices if you want your children to have a descent world one day. Your parents do not owe you anything.

    </strong><hr></blockquote>



    Stop with the broad generalizations please.
  • Reply 18 of 69
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    [quote]Originally posted by RyanTheGreat:

    <strong>



    Stop with the broad generalizations please.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    What? Her gender has nothing to do with it. She's just stating her opinion...don't be sexist.



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 19 of 69
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    haha



    The more I read Jane's stuff, the more I'm sure she needs a good lay.



    The same has been said about every new generation since the inception of mankind. "Whippersnapper" is an old term for a reason.



    Generation X was supposed to be the end of mankind with its apathy and such, but it has become quite obvious that Generation X is quite adept and successful.



    The Britney Spears generation will be fine, any blame for their rottenness should be placed on their baby-boomer parents.



    So neener.
  • Reply 20 of 69
    [quote]Originally posted by pscates:

    <strong>



    What? Her gender has nothing to do with it. She's just stating her opinion...don't be sexist.



    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> </strong><hr></blockquote>







    and Groverat... I resent being called part of the "Britney Spears Generation" ugh, that hurts



    [ 02-25-2002: Message edited by: RyanTheGreat ]</p>
Sign In or Register to comment.