a friend stole money

paul

OK, a friend of mine let a friend sleep over their house... and the friend that slept over stole $40 from his house...



now the $ isnt really all that important, but the fact that this kid would steal money is a little unsettling--any advice on how to handle the situation w/o getting anyone pissed and making sure that it doesnt happen again?

tia

-Paul

_ alliance _

beat the sh*t out of him.



easy. problem solved...

paul

hehe, yeah.. thanks <img src="graemlins/oyvey.gif" border="0" alt="[No]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

_ alliance _

no problem.



glad i could help.

noahj

Hmmm. That is a tough one. If you want to be sure that the stealing does not happen again I don;t see a way to handle it without pissing someone off. SOrry. Tell the guy that there was $40 left out and that you cannot find it now. Then ask him if he saw it. If he is a real friend and he is guilty he will confess and pay the guy back. Otherwise he will deny and either be telling the truth or lying. One way he may get pissed, the other way you never know if he is telling the truth and you will be pissed. Sorry.

ghost_user_name

Yea. I would just be up front with the guy. Do you know for a fact that he took it? If so tell him the money is gone and you "know" he took is. Or maybe that he's the only one that could have taken it. Maybe it's lost? But if you sure he took it then I'd just tell him so and that maybe you don't want to hang out with him anymore and don't bother to call or come over.

paul

I dont know anyhitng for a fact, my friend just told me this tonight and asked me for an opinon... he said he is 100% sure it was him--noone else could have taken it, and when he was alone, he seemed a little "weird"... so yeah he is sure that the kid took the $....



The thing is, this kid is a sophomore and we are seniors... as much as this kid is scum for taking the $, I wouldnt want to give him that kind of reputation, I mean i'm sure it is an isolated incident(sp?) and that he normally doesnt steal things... but at what point do you hang the kid out to dry for what he did?



Would there be any way to let him give the $ back without us having to confront him? Just so he has the chance to make the right descision w/o us forcing him to do so...



thanks for the suggestions thus far...

_ alliance _

[quote]Originally posted by psantora:

<strong>

Would there be any way to let him give the $ back without us having to confront him? Just so he has the chance to make the right descision w/o us forcing him to do so...



thanks for the suggestions thus far...</strong><hr></blockquote>



ask him fer a loan. if the kid is honest, he wont make u pay the loan back. maybe as a way of giving him a way out.

groverat

Yeah, I dig the loan idea.



I took $5 from my mom one time when I was about 5 and she asked if she could borrow $5 from me. I was humiliated and never took anything from her again.

ghost_user_name

The loan idea suck. You shouldn't play games with people with shit like. Just be direct with him.

alcimedes

dude, he's two grades younger, he took your money and you're asking what to do?



make him fork it over. ask him why he took it, tlel him you want it paid back. no point playing games about it. no reason to suck up to a sophomore either.

torifile

It sounds like you're being a good friend by not wanting to give him a bad rep for what he did. That's cool :cool: . Anyway, just ask him in private if he took it. No need to make a big deal out of it, but you should be direct about it. Just between you, your friend and him. If he fesses up, let it go and move on with life. You'll probably all be better friends afterwards if it goes well. If he doesn't admit it, then you know something else about him and make your decision about how to interact with him based on that new information. Tough situation to be in. I don't envy you... Good luck.

_ alliance _

[quote]Originally posted by torifile:

<strong>It sounds like you're being a good friend by not wanting to give him a bad rep for what he did. That's cool :cool: . Anyway, just ask him in private if he took it. No need to make a big deal out of it, but you should be direct about it. Just between you, your friend and him. If he fesses up, let it go and move on with life. You'll probably all be better friends afterwards if it goes well. If he doesn't admit it, then you know something else about him and make your decision about how to interact with him based on that new information. Tough situation to be in. I don't envy you... Good luck.</strong><hr></blockquote>



second

ferro

Just leave out another 40 or 20 dollars and invite him over...



When it disapears, youll know he took it... and just before he leaves tell him this -



"OH and if that 40 bucks isnt back on my dresser in under a week, Dont come back..."I Aint No Punk, FooL!!!"



Or something to the effect "I know you did it and if you disrespect me again it will be the last time..."



------------------------------------



© FERRO 2001-2002



[ 03-12-2002: Message edited by: FERRO ]</p>

anders

[quote]Originally posted by _ alliance _:

<strong>

second</strong><hr></blockquote>



third ( <img src="graemlins/bugeye.gif" border="0" alt="[Skeptical]" /> )



[ 03-12-2002: Message edited by: Anders ]</p>

johnkentucky

[quote]Originally posted by psantora:

[QB]I mean i'm sure it is an isolated incident(sp?) and that he normally doesnt steal things... /QB]<hr></blockquote>



And how do you know it was an isolated incident? He could be stealing from other friends or relatives. Just be up front and talk to him. Give him the option of handing it over or lie about it.



Just do it and be done with it. Longer you wait, the harder it's going to be.

outsider

Josey is right. Poeple have a disposition to steal. Ask yourself if you saw $40 out in the open at a friends house would you take it? That's right, and most people wouldn't take it either (you might think about it but i think about having sex with women I meet in the elevator. Doesn't mean a thing.). He's just going to do it over and over until he gets caught or worse, it escalates into something more serious. Confront him. Teach him a lesson. And if he does it again well maybe you should rethink your friendship.

alcimedes

you mean you don't have sex with those women you meet in the elevator? you're weird.



confront him about it. if he won't fess up, don't hang around with him, and consider it the wisest $40 you ever spent.

noahj

[quote]Originally posted by torifile:

<strong>It sounds like you're being a good friend by not wanting to give him a bad rep for what he did. That's cool :cool: . Anyway, just ask him in private if he took it. No need to make a big deal out of it, but you should be direct about it. Just between you, your friend and him. If he fesses up, let it go and move on with life. You'll probably all be better friends afterwards if it goes well. If he doesn't admit it, then you know something else about him and make your decision about how to interact with him based on that new information. Tough situation to be in. I don't envy you... Good luck.</strong><hr></blockquote>



Basically what i said earlier. Confront him with it. If you play games with him you will likely not be satisfied with the results. Directness is always best, even if he does get pissed. If he did it and gets mad that you would confront him then he obviously is not that good a friend. If he did not do it, then at least you have set your mind at ease.

willoughby

Also take into consideration why he might be stealing.



Is he just a punk?



Is he in some kind of trouble and needs money, possibly because his family is poor/broke.



Is he desperate for drugs?



If he's really your friend and you care about him, you might want to try and help the kid.



When I was in high school I was in almost the same situation. I was over my best friends house and we caught our one friend stealing liquor from his dad's liquor cabinet. My buddy had been getting in a lot of trouble because bottles kept going missing. He swore to his dad it wasn't him. Our friend who stole the bottles was turning into an alcoholic at 16



He cared about us, but he cared about his alcohol more than getting his friends in trouble. He knew that kid's dad was coming down on him but it didn't matter, he had an addiction.



Anyway, to make a long story short, we got him counseling after many many attempts to do it ourselves. It was hard, and we ended up losing a friend, but in the end I think we helped him more than hurted him. At least I hope so. <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />



[ 03-12-2002: Message edited by: Willoughby ]</p>

paul

[quote]Originally posted by FERRO:

<strong>Just leave out another 40 or 20 dollars and invite him over...



When it disapears, youll know he took it... and just before he leaves tell him this -



"OH and if that 40 bucks isnt back on my dresser in under a week, Dont come back..."I Aint No Punk, FooL!!!"



Or something to the effect "I know you did it and if you disrespect me again it will be the last time..."



------------------------------------



© FERRO 2001-2002



[ 03-12-2002: Message edited by: FERRO ]</strong><hr></blockquote>



OK, this gave me an idea.... lets say we can get a wad of twenties together like an arbatrary # like $160+ or so and we wrote down the serial #s and put them all in a wallet in a room or something. then somehow leave him alone in the room for some reason.... and then check to see if $ is missing and then check his wallet for the missing money, matching the serial #s... would this work? A freind of mine used this technique to catch a stealing babysitter in the act... but the question is would he fall for it...