Whoopi...

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
:confused:



Whoop-ee...







Being curious, does anyone here actually think this woman is funny? I mean, seriously? And does she possess some sort of mysterious, hidden emcee talent I'm not seeing?



Honestly, this woman bugs me to no end: she's not funny, she's not particularly smart or insightful and, to be quite frank, she's not even attractive (which might go a long way in cancelling out the two previous factors).



I'm telling you now, this will be her thing: she'll come out, dressed dowdy and frumpy as usual (wearing some stupid smock-like thing, with Birkenstock type clogs or sandals, with big wool socks no less, and wearing little round Lennon-esque sunglasses that were cutting edge and hip about 14 years ago.



And she'll spend a significant portion of her onscreen time taking cowardly, lame-ass jabs at Bush (and the right, in general). I say "cowardly" because she knows she's in front of an auditorium filled with like-minded Hollywood assheads who'll cheer, applaud and cackle hysterically at her every sentence or "biting social commentary" (as if the Oscars is the place for it).







Seriously, last year, for the first time EVER, I sat and watched and Oscar broadcast straight through from start to finish and (gasp...) genuinely enjoyed it.



Why? Two words:



Steve Martin.



Now THERE'S a host. Funny, easy on the eyes, upbeat, funny, sharp, on his feet and funny. Oh, and did I mention funny?



Not even Billy "I'm little so I always try too hard" Crystal was watchable.



Honestly, due to lack of true funniness AND the fact that they'd work in their little political jabs all night long, I can only think of two people on the planet who would suck worse at hosting the Oscars:



Robin Williams or Rosie O'Donnell.



I guess in light of that fact, I should count my blessings that it's only Ms. Goldberg. I suppose it could be worse...



<img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />



In any case, I think my strategy will be this: the "mute" button on the remote will be activated during any and all appearances by Ms. Goldberg on the screen, just so I can somewhat enjoy the rest of the show.



I mean, come on: the chances of her actually saying something truly funny, touching, endearing, sharp or poignant are basically slim to none, right?



Let's all meet back here later tonight or tomorrow morning to discuss how right I am and how solidly I nailed tonight's presentation.







[ 03-24-2002: Message edited by: pscates ]</p>
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 31
    I agree. Viva Steve Martin!



    The fact that this is apparently the FOURTH time Whoopi has hosted the Oscars is insane.
  • Reply 2 of 31
    eugeneeugene Posts: 8,254member
    Blah, Billy Crystal is funnier than Steve Martin any day. That's why they keep bringing him back.



    Curious, this is the first time, Crystal hasn't been host 'every other year' for a long time.



    And I *liked* Letterman.
  • Reply 3 of 31
    matsumatsu Posts: 6,558member
    Best Possible Host: Tom Greene.



    Might as well complete the farce.
  • Reply 4 of 31
    Tom Green would be an excellent choice!
  • Reply 5 of 31
    jeffyboyjeffyboy Posts: 1,055member
    I'll go out on a limb and say Whoopi pleasently surprises. Just a feeling I have.



    PS-Matsu's signature: <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    Jeff
  • Reply 6 of 31
    Whoopee - Prisoner to her hairstyle...



    Robin Williams - Has he ever hosted? That would be amazing. He'd probably explode.



    Billy Crystal -He made it bearable. Hey, this is like a "three degrees of Comic Relief"...



    Not watching the Oscars tonight. <img src="graemlins/smokin.gif" border="0" alt="[Chilling]" />
  • Reply 7 of 31
    glurxglurx Posts: 1,031member
    Whoopi as host is tedious, banal, and thoroughly dull and boring. I liked her in Ghost though.
  • Reply 8 of 31
    applenutapplenut Posts: 5,768member
    lol.. looks like Whoopi read pscates' post and did the exact opposite of everything
  • Reply 9 of 31
    jeffyboyjeffyboy Posts: 1,055member
    Funny moment when she said Moulin Rouge looked like it was directed by no one/cut to/Baz looking not in the least amused.

    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />

    Jeff
  • Reply 10 of 31
    applenutapplenut Posts: 5,768member
    jeez, Halle Berry looks like she is in sever pain rather than joy :eek:
  • Reply 11 of 31
    jeffyboyjeffyboy Posts: 1,055member
    If only she'd quit before "&gt;snif, snif&lt; I'd like to thank my agents, my lawyers..."



    Still, a pretty moving moment, especially the other nominees choking up.



    Jeff



    [ 03-25-2002: Message edited by: jeffyboy ]</p>
  • Reply 12 of 31
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    [quote]Originally posted by applenut:

    <strong>lol.. looks like Whoopi read pscates' post and did the exact opposite of everything</strong><hr></blockquote>



    You know, I noticed that. She was halfway bearable. She still isn't funny, but I was shocked at how little I actually wanted to smack her.



    Of course, I wasn't paying lots of attention to begin with, but when I did, I wasn't enraged.



    She left her sunglasses off, she wore a nice dress and seemed to keep the wise-ass, divisive political jabs in check.



    Color me shocked.







    Steve Martin still did a better job though...
  • Reply 13 of 31
    murbotmurbot Posts: 5,262member
    Maybe I'm off base here, but I thought her little "joke" about the Hobbit vs. Beautiful Mind was kind of in bad taste.



    I forget what exactly she said leading up to it, but she ended up saying "The Hobbits are leading the schizophrenic mathematicians 4 to 2."



    Considering that Mr. Nash and his wife were in the audience... (he's still a schizophrenic mathematician isn't he?) isn't that a little mean? I don't know, everyone in my house let out a little "jeeeeesssussss" and rolled our eyes after that comment.



    Oh, and I'll add one more vote for Steve Martin. I'll take him over the whoopi cushion anyday.



    [ 03-26-2002: Message edited by: murbot ]</p>
  • Reply 14 of 31
    Here's some news on who next year's host could be: <a href="http://www.drudgereport.com/mattosc.htm"; target="_blank">http://www.drudgereport.com/mattosc.htm</a>;



    Looks like it could be Um-- I mean, Oprah.



    Fantastic. NOT!



    I think I could dig Leno though.



    [ 03-26-2002: Message edited by: Arakageeta ]</p>
  • Reply 15 of 31
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    Oh man, I missed the "Hobbits and schizophrenic math geniuses" remark.



    I guess I take some of my kind remarks back. It's likely that she is a clueless idiot after all.



    <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />



    And I'd like to tweak my original post to add Oprah (along with Robin Williams and Rosie O'Donnell) to the list of people I'd like to NOT see host the Oscars.



    Or any other live televised event, for that matter.



  • Reply 16 of 31
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    Oprah as the host:

    "Dave, Uma. Uma, Dave."



    Whoopi was quite unfunny. The "hallucination" bit was awkward and I'm becoming more and more convinced that 90% of the crap they do at the Oscars is unnecessary.



    They give the presenters 5 minutes to do an idiotic bit but the actual winner gets 2 seconds to say thanks. I know that priorities are the last thing on these freaks' minds, but let's use a fraction of common sense...
  • Reply 17 of 31
    steve666steve666 Posts: 2,600member
    Why was Whoopie picked again?



    Lets see-

    Sidney poitier was chosen to be honored on a night when halle Berry and Denzel (Mr. Overact) Washington won the awards for best actor and best actress(gee, do you think the producers knew something beforehand?). Therefore-



    Black Acheivement Award winner

    Black Best Actress winner

    Black Best Actor winner

    Black Host



    This show is so political its nauseating. A Simple Mind wins Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actress, but the Best Actor award is not given to the person who carried the movie because he's, well, White. Also an ass but thats besides the point.......................................
  • Reply 18 of 31
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    [quote]Originally posted by steve666:

    <strong>Lets see-

    Sidney poitier was chosen to be honored on a night when halle Berry and Denzel (Mr. Overact) Washington won the awards for best actor and best actress(gee, do you think the producers knew something beforehand?). Therefore-



    Black Acheivement Award winner

    Black Best Actress winner

    Black Best Actor winner

    Black Host</strong><hr></blockquote>



    They probably just didn't want Jesse organizing a protest or shakedown...







    "Give Denzel a statue, or we're comin' back at you...

    Don't deny Ms. Berry, or things are gonna get scary..."







    Jesse...the people's poet...
  • Reply 19 of 31
    pscatespscates Posts: 5,847member
    By the way, I thought Sidney Poitier's speech was very nice. He exhibited class and grace, two things otherwise missing from the evening.



    He deserved that honor, in my opinion.
  • Reply 20 of 31
    [quote] Being curious, does anyone here actually think this woman is funny? I mean, seriously? And does she possess some sort of mysterious, hidden emcee talent I'm not seeing? <hr></blockquote>



    Big money - makes anyone funny!!!
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