Spider Vs Man .... Man runs away
Yeah call me a chicken, but I just had to deal with a giant spider in my kitchen...I looked up & it was crawling up the wall like it owned the place...
It's been pouring with rain, and so all the crawly bugs & roaches want to come in and be snug..
I don't mind them coz they usually don't bite..or they skitter away when you come near em..
But spiders here can stare down growned up dogs and can deal with rats, cats and the like...
Here is one of its blood relatives having a cup of tea.
And in case your wondering..this is a common spider around here..and that measure tape is in Inches...
http://userweb.elec.gla.ac.uk/a/aurora/bigspider.jpg
Where is my shotgun ?
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MOD EDIT - image is too big dude, makes the posts in the thread hard to read when they're wider than the window. Made it a link for you.
It's been pouring with rain, and so all the crawly bugs & roaches want to come in and be snug..
I don't mind them coz they usually don't bite..or they skitter away when you come near em..
But spiders here can stare down growned up dogs and can deal with rats, cats and the like...
Here is one of its blood relatives having a cup of tea.
And in case your wondering..this is a common spider around here..and that measure tape is in Inches...
http://userweb.elec.gla.ac.uk/a/aurora/bigspider.jpg
Where is my shotgun ?
\MOD EDIT - image is too big dude, makes the posts in the thread hard to read when they're wider than the window. Made it a link for you.
Comments
I was reading the cm side.
*shudder*
Dude, seriously, where do you live??
I mean, we have 3-4" buggers around here sometimes, but 'common'?
We had a funnel spider on our deck that we named Ffloyd (yes, two fs) that was over 4.5" across, easily, who kept our deck clear of many many bugs... until we found out that he was a hobo spider whose bites cause flesh necrosis, and I slayed the beast. With *AN ENTIRE GODDAMNED CAN OF BUG SPRAY*. He WOULD NOT DIE. When he fell off the deck he made an audible *thud* on the ground.
I recommend relocating immediately. Show your employer the picture; they will understand. They don't want it hitching a ride on your car and showing up on the water cooler anyway! That fuking thing could be CRAWLING ON YOU at night. Leave, LEAVE I SAY!
PS - you should know that until such time as you are residing in a place hostile to such creatures, I will never EVER come over to your house for the weekend. I won't even come over for a BBQ. And I'm not arachnaphobic, generally speaking.
Just last night some little bastard was crawling up my wall. I smashed it with my fingernail... that's all the proof you need I'm not scared of em generally.
MOVE man, MOVE!
Seriously, I'm normally not afraid of spiders, but if I encountered one of that size in my home, I'd freak out! Damn, that's one nasty, scary bugger... Just imagine waking up with that in your bed!!!
Uh, I mean, shit that's a big spider.
otherwise, when I was in Australia I saw some enormous brown spiders that were supposedly non-venemous. Made girls scream like the bejeezus though.
Check this:
http://hobospider.org/
You europeans have big spiders. But at least that big black house spider of yours keeps out the Hobo Spiders. And mur, watchout. It says the hobo spiders are coming soon to Canada. (Them fvckers came from Europe and defiled our land)
I'm a lanky guy, muscular yet trim, and I can handle just about any opposing force that comes my way. But put me face to face with a tiny little spider and I'm reduced to a shivering, screaming girly-man.
I can't help it. I was traumatized as a child by a big-ass spider and never got over it.
Those little fvckers scare the shite out of me.
Although, I have to admit I'm fascinated by the things. An excretion that is stronger than steel...a way about them that is otherworldly...and the incredible way they wrap their prey skin-tight, waiting for the moment to suck out the life force while their prey is paralysed. Eeek.
The mention of spiders always brings me back to the time I was living in Bastrop (a bit outside Austin) in a treehouse. Beautiful place. Plenty of land for 7 (my dog) to run around, and nothing but grazing cows and more grazing cows for 20 miles either way. Nice.
Anyway, the place had spiders. Not a couple of spiders, but a shitload of spiders. Everywhere. Being the 'live and let live' kind of guy I was in those days, I lived with them. They were all the same sort...black, shiny, fairly large and entirely creepy.
Of course, there was the odd hairy monster I'd wake up to trying to escape my bathtub, but a quick scorching water flush and a big kitchen spoon (the spider scooper) put an end to all that. They were the intruders. My shiny roommates were accepted. Not loved, accepted.
Well, one night I had all the windows and doors open, and there was this particular fellow that lived exactly above my eyes while lying in bed. It was dark. Dark as in no moon dark and I couldn't see my hand in front of my face dark. The breeze was nice, and I was starting to drift off...when I saw that a firefly had entered the house and was happily blinking his way across the rooms.
Then it happened.
The firefly blinked once flying off to my right, and the next blink was an eerie portend of the horror that was to follow. He was stuck. Right in the web directly above my head. Each green blinking glow was like a slow-motion strobe light...each glow showed the shiny monster in all his fast-paced silhouette dance. Then black...endless black...until the next glow illuminated the knitting legs. Wrapping and twirling my glowing friend.
It was horrifying, but I couldn't turn my eyes away. Each pulsing glow allowing me a glimpse of the dancing creature. Knitting, dancing, knitting. Until the glows were more infrequent, and the black night more apparent. Then it was just dark. I stared for hours. Not seeing anything, just staring upwards.
A few days later, the spiders crossed the line. I don't know which one decided to breach detente, but I woke up with an incredible itching and pain on my leg. I pulled back the covers to reveal two tiny wounds...
That was it. I was furious that something I could not tolerate, yet did, could break truce.
I would kill them. All of them.
I cursed them as I left for the morning, vowing to return with the most vile killing chemical spray I could lay my hands on. They would all pay.
When I returned that evening...chemical killing spray in hand...they were gone. Seriously. All gone. Vacated. I knew where each lived, so I poked around in disbelief. They really and truly had all just picked up and left. I was stunned.
They never came back.
To this day I still wonder about whether they just picked up on my hateful 'vibes', heard me curse them as I was leaving or just decided to find another home.
Anyways, I loath spiders.
Good postage.
Originally posted by 709
I loath spiders.
heehee . . . worth the read
I had a dream about spiders last night (and probably will again tomight)
I dreamt that there was a large spider in an apple I was eating . .. at least so I thought . . . as there were three hairy legs protruding over the lip of a small hole in the apple
after cutting the apple with I knofe I found that what I thought was a giant spider turned out to be a HUMONGOUS wasp . . . some dream . . . I must be anxious
Originally posted by Splinemodel
Check this:
http://hobospider.org/
Yup, that's the fscker that was nearly 5" across on our deck. Ffloyd should have died much much sooner.
Originally posted by Kickaha
Oh thank ye flippin' ghods.
I was reading the cm side.
*shudder*
Dude, seriously, where do you live??
I mean, we have 3-4" buggers around here sometimes, but 'common'?
We had a funnel spider on our deck that we named Ffloyd (yes, two fs) that was over 4.5" across, easily, who kept our deck clear of many many bugs... until we found out that he was a hobo spider whose bites cause flesh necrosis, and I slayed the beast. With *AN ENTIRE GODDAMNED CAN OF BUG SPRAY*. He WOULD NOT DIE. When he fell off the deck he made an audible *thud* on the ground.
I'd be worried about Ffloyd's mother..In the spider world it is a general rule that the female can be twenty or thirty times bigger than the male..I'd be looking to put bars on your windows...
As to where I live..It's Adelaide-Australia...& I've just been told that Adelaide is home to over 200 different species of spider.....Sheeeee---eeeet
I havent got time to show you our version of a funnel web..Its got red fangs big enough to puncture shoe leather..
I'll post an image when I get back home..
Originally posted by Aquafire
I'll post an image when I get back home..
Why on earth would you do that to us?
Originally posted by bunge
Why on earth would you do that to us?
It's my Weapon of Mass Hysteria.... 8)
Originally posted by Kickaha
'?
We had a funnel spider on our deck that we named Ffloyd (yes, two fs)
You named it Ffloyd, but I wonder how many times you actually wrote his name down