how did you realize that your significant other was the one?
Hi Satchmo -
My big problem was that I couldn't decide whether or not to marry the guy. Looking back on it, my biggest clue should have been my indecision - I shouldn't have married him. We weren't emotionally compatible. At least, not for the person I was at the time. I was 21, which may seem mature enough; but I wasn't very mature (emotionally) at that age. I think that everyone should be on their own for five years after they finish their schooling. If they do that, they'll be more prepared to make life decisions that they can live with. At least, that's my opinion. If I had waited five years to marry the very same guy, we would probably still be married now. "I" was most of the problem in our relationship, but he didn't help any. As I said, we weren't really emotionally compatible. But he was SUCH a gorgeous hunk, and was SO incredibly smart, that I couldn't imagine passing him up, even with all my uncertainties.
But the weird thing is, that after we got separated and even divorced, he would invite me to come stay at his Calif. beach house, and we would have the best time together, being friends as opposed to being married. We both enjoyed all the same stuff: scuba diving, backpacking, skiing, traveling. As I said, I have to attribute the failure of our marriage to my own immaturity. But I've grown up a lot since then, and fortunately am not the same person. But now I'm so independent, and so in love with my freedom, that I don't know if I'll ever be able to commit to one person exclusively. I've dated lots of great guys. But I love being free. Does that sound weird? Probably.
.. how about being the one, when staying one day without him you feel like you have been alone for a long, long time .. like a year os so. when you suddenly start to feel you are only a half ..
.. and definitelly don't want to think about being 2 months alone
.. how about being the one, when staying one day without him you feel like you have been alone for a long, long time .. like a year os so. when you suddenly start to feel you are only a half ..
.. and definitelly don't want to think about being 2 months alone
Hi Giaguara - Well, the thing is, you can still love someone without having to marry him. All the guys I have ever loved, I still love - which is a very nice feeling.
But I think my ex wanted to marry me so he could have me and no one else could. Once we were married, he proceeded to take me for granted. I could probably handle that now, but I couldn't then.
When I spend time alone, I enjoy it; because, being a teacher, I am saturated with human contact during the day. I feel fortunate that I don't 'need' to be with someone every minute in my personal life. Maybe my feelings about that will change, but that's how I feel now.
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Although, of course, she wasn't too sure, with all the potential issues and such (come from different countries, I can't speak German, etc.).
Now we're married, and can't think of anyone I would rather be with.
It was different for me. Just a sense of "we should be together" like like it was the way of the world. Hard to explain.
Originally posted by Eugene
Setting your goals a little low, are we?
Hehe.... no. That's not what I meant. It was the clincher. Everything about her is perfect, but once the verification happened... it was set in stone.
Originally posted by satchmo
how did you realize that your significant other was the one?
Hi Satchmo -
My big problem was that I couldn't decide whether or not to marry the guy. Looking back on it, my biggest clue should have been my indecision - I shouldn't have married him. We weren't emotionally compatible. At least, not for the person I was at the time. I was 21, which may seem mature enough; but I wasn't very mature (emotionally) at that age. I think that everyone should be on their own for five years after they finish their schooling. If they do that, they'll be more prepared to make life decisions that they can live with. At least, that's my opinion. If I had waited five years to marry the very same guy, we would probably still be married now. "I" was most of the problem in our relationship, but he didn't help any. As I said, we weren't really emotionally compatible. But he was SUCH a gorgeous hunk, and was SO incredibly smart, that I couldn't imagine passing him up, even with all my uncertainties.
But the weird thing is, that after we got separated and even divorced, he would invite me to come stay at his Calif. beach house, and we would have the best time together, being friends as opposed to being married. We both enjoyed all the same stuff: scuba diving, backpacking, skiing, traveling. As I said, I have to attribute the failure of our marriage to my own immaturity. But I've grown up a lot since then, and fortunately am not the same person. But now I'm so independent, and so in love with my freedom, that I don't know if I'll ever be able to commit to one person exclusively. I've dated lots of great guys. But I love being free. Does that sound weird? Probably.
.. how about being the one, when staying one day without him you feel like you have been alone for a long, long time .. like a year os so. when you suddenly start to feel you are only a half ..
.. and definitelly don't want to think about being 2 months alone
Originally posted by Giaguara
carol, i thought you were younger.
.. how about being the one, when staying one day without him you feel like you have been alone for a long, long time .. like a year os so. when you suddenly start to feel you are only a half ..
.. and definitelly don't want to think about being 2 months alone
Hi Giaguara - Well, the thing is, you can still love someone without having to marry him. All the guys I have ever loved, I still love - which is a very nice feeling.
But I think my ex wanted to marry me so he could have me and no one else could. Once we were married, he proceeded to take me for granted. I could probably handle that now, but I couldn't then.
When I spend time alone, I enjoy it; because, being a teacher, I am saturated with human contact during the day. I feel fortunate that I don't 'need' to be with someone every minute in my personal life. Maybe my feelings about that will change, but that's how I feel now.
If you can't live with just yourself, you'll never be able to live happily with anyone else.
Originally posted by Kickaha
You go, girl.
If you can't live with just yourself, you'll never be able to live happily with anyone else.
Thanks.
She didn't even care about the car.