You know it's a bad movie if.........

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Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
If a character says "I'm gettin' too old for this shit"



If the movie is not EASY RIDER and some one pulls out on a motorized vehicle to the song "Born To Be Wild"



If someone changes their clothes and re-emerges to the song "Bad To the Bone"
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 59
    unless its a married with children movie.
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  • Reply 2 of 59
    If you check your watch while watching it.



    If you find yourself thinking about mundane chores back home - doing dishes... the laundry...



    If the plot makes strange jumps, as in from being in a hostage camp in Cuba to shopping for groceries in the US (i.e. Red Zone Cuba).



    If your thinking begins to resemble that of the Mystery Science Theater's cast.
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  • Reply 3 of 59
    drewpropsdrewprops Posts: 2,321member
    ....it has a number after the title.
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  • Reply 4 of 59
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    not necessarily for any of the above, although they might offer some clues as to whether you'll classify the film as "bad art" in the end.
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  • Reply 5 of 59
    ...you don't enjoy it
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  • Reply 6 of 59
    pfflampfflam Posts: 5,053member
    . . . if it wins an oscar for best movie
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  • Reply 7 of 59
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    When someone shoots a bullet at a car and it instantly blows up in a massive inferno.



    If a bad guy is holding a gun at the protagonist, then a gun fires, and then the bad guy falls! revealing the other previously-thought-dead protagonist.



    If someone gets off a motorcycle with a dark helmet, and then, after taking off the helmet, is revealed to actually be a sexy woman with long blonde hair rather than a man like everyone thought!



    Someone's heart stops in a hospital, and then after approximately 2 seconds of trying to revive him, everyone says "no, stop, it's over."
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  • Reply 8 of 59
    pfflampfflam Posts: 5,053member
    if Mel Gobson has anything to do with it
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  • Reply 9 of 59
    Quote:

    Originally posted by pfflam

    if Mel Gobson has anything to do with it



    its funnier with the spelling error.



    i happened to like the mad max series, but then again that was before he hit mainland us.
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  • Reply 10 of 59
    (the benny hill rule)

    If there is a segment where the film is speeded up.



    (yeah yeah...CLOCKWORK ORANGE........there are exceptions to all these rules.)
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  • Reply 11 of 59
    spcmsspcms Posts: 407member
    If Sandra Bullocks is in it
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  • Reply 12 of 59
    addaboxaddabox Posts: 12,665member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by SpcMs

    If Sandra Bullocks is in it



    Be especially careful if Sandra Bullocks and Mel Gobson are in the same movie.
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  • Reply 13 of 59
    addaboxaddabox Posts: 12,665member
    If it's a buddy film where someone walks in on the buddies doing something that looks "gay" and then backs out of the scene going "I don't even want to know" or "None of my business".



    When the two leads run twoards the camera and jump just as a massive fireball erupts behind them, propelling them forward into water/ditch/cliff. Extra points for when the leads are male and female and the subsequent entanglement of their bodies is their first (stilted) erotic moment.



    When anytime police or military action of any sort takes place it's accompanied by people shouting "GO! GO! GO!"



    If there's an elaborately edited "arming sequence" wherein the hero, finally pushed too far, gets geared up for retribution via a montage of zippers being zipped, buckles being pulled snug, ammo magazines slammed home, and sinister looking black metal things being clicked and rotated.
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  • Reply 14 of 59
    If an awful, terrifying sequence comes to an end with the protagonist suddenly sitting upright with a gasp, covered in sweat, light shining on his face through the blinds in his bedroom window.
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  • Reply 15 of 59
    If there are hobbits in it.
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  • Reply 16 of 59
    If instead of just killing the victim, the bad guy explains all the why's and wherefores of his nefarious scheme.

    Sorry 007.
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  • Reply 17 of 59
    oh oh oh. and then lets some machine/machine like human kill the good guy.
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  • Reply 18 of 59
    Jack Black is there.
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  • Reply 19 of 59
    addaboxaddabox Posts: 12,665member
    After a prolonged sequence of sacrificial secondary character creeping through darkened space while "suspense" builds, the film literally goes "Boo!"

    by having cat jump out. Pause a beat while SSC goes "Oh, Mr. Critters, you scared me!" followed by abrupt disembowelment by madman/creature who has crept up behind.



    Mano a mano confrontation ends with challanger suddenly backing away, his eyes wide with terror. As the first guy begins to celebrate his badness, camera pulls back/tilts up to reveal actual reason for fear: giant whatever rising up behind.
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  • Reply 20 of 59
    shetlineshetline Posts: 4,695member
    If you claw out your own eyes to save yourself from seeing any more of it.
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