If it has a backwards tracking shot with Tommy-lee Jones walking at the camera, while 'taking command', and giving orders to various 'staff' to 'get ready' and 'Do this' and 'Check that' while he also looks through various and sundry files, photos and/or maps given by appearing and falling-away assistants and while plebs cross through the path looking busy and dramatic music builds . . .
?if the title drops all articles (an, an, the) and is always structured with an adjective with hard consonants and a terse noun.
?if they do the big suit-up rock video scene as character development or as a build-up to the climax.
?if they do the Melrose Place/Reservoir Dogs group shot of people walking at any point.
?if the movie finds an excuse to have the characters visit a strip bar.
?three words: deus ex machina.
?if the following people are involved with the movie: Freddie Prinze Jr., Gary Busey or his son (whatever his name is), Shelley Long, Pamela Anderson, etc.
?if it requires computer-y bleep and bloop sound effects to make computers interesting enough for screen time.
?if they pull the race card as comic relief.
?if they use some imcompetant dopy sidekick for comic relief. (Said sidekick will of course come through at some critical moment -- see deus ex machina above.)
?if the title credits suck. (Really! I swear good films always have intriguing title sequences.)
?if it uses the rags-to-rickes plot line in any form: nerdy person becomes cool, retarded kid is accepted, etc.
?if it required a main character to be retarded, wear makeup to look ugly, or have some sort of physical or speech defect. Richard III was the ultimate gimp-as-star (or rather, star-as-gimp) production.
?if the characters manage to not say the most obvious and direct things to one another for the first 90 minutes. Again, see deux ex machina except in this case it is used for plot development rather than resolution.
if it consists of a montage of unrelated scenes stitched together by a crack team of editors and lasting a whole lot longer than it should such that when the final credits begin to play the theater explodes from the simultaneous release of 157 sighs of relief. (see love actually)
BuonRotto mentioned something that drives me crazy-- the "characters not saying the obvious things to one another for the first 90 minutes" deal.
It seems like every other movie hinges on a misunderstanding that would have been resolved immediately by even the most obtuse person by saying: "I don't know what you're talking about, tell me what you think is going on and I will tell you what is actually going on", or words to that effect.
Instead, the agrieved party just sputters and complains that he or she is being misunderstood and stalks off, leading to lengthy complications, hence the plot of the movie. I always feel like rising up out of my seat and shouting, "Oh , for god's sake, just spit it out, you dumbshit!"
There are some great movies with that premise . . . and some great literature as well . . . for example; "House of Mirth" was a decent film . . . others as well . . . but they escape me now . . .
Are you talking about the Simpsons movie? (there are several movies on that page). If so, you're crazy! :P Anything remotely connected to the simpsons is great (with the exception of The Simpsons: Hit & Run)
Comments
Nick
?if they do the big suit-up rock video scene as character development or as a build-up to the climax.
?if they do the Melrose Place/Reservoir Dogs group shot of people walking at any point.
?if the movie finds an excuse to have the characters visit a strip bar.
?three words: deus ex machina.
?if the following people are involved with the movie: Freddie Prinze Jr., Gary Busey or his son (whatever his name is), Shelley Long, Pamela Anderson, etc.
?if it requires computer-y bleep and bloop sound effects to make computers interesting enough for screen time.
?if they pull the race card as comic relief.
?if they use some imcompetant dopy sidekick for comic relief. (Said sidekick will of course come through at some critical moment -- see deus ex machina above.)
?if the title credits suck. (Really! I swear good films always have intriguing title sequences.)
?if it uses the rags-to-rickes plot line in any form: nerdy person becomes cool, retarded kid is accepted, etc.
?if it required a main character to be retarded, wear makeup to look ugly, or have some sort of physical or speech defect. Richard III was the ultimate gimp-as-star (or rather, star-as-gimp) production.
?if the characters manage to not say the most obvious and direct things to one another for the first 90 minutes. Again, see deux ex machina except in this case it is used for plot development rather than resolution.
Originally posted by Ganondorf
if the trailer begins with "in a world..."
Unless the trailer is this
If someone changes their clothes and re-emerges to the song "Bad To the Bone"
Doesn't this happen in T2? It wasn't a bad movie.
Originally posted by Stoo
Doesn't this happen in T2. It wasn't a bad movie.
yes it was.
if someone who watches the film in the teen to twenty something age group says the film wasnt a bad movie.
in a good/bad great sorta way
. . . . and I'm quite a bit over that age demographic
quite a bit!
BuonRotto mentioned something that drives me crazy-- the "characters not saying the obvious things to one another for the first 90 minutes" deal.
It seems like every other movie hinges on a misunderstanding that would have been resolved immediately by even the most obtuse person by saying: "I don't know what you're talking about, tell me what you think is going on and I will tell you what is actually going on", or words to that effect.
Instead, the agrieved party just sputters and complains that he or she is being misunderstood and stalks off, leading to lengthy complications, hence the plot of the movie. I always feel like rising up out of my seat and shouting, "Oh , for god's sake, just spit it out, you dumbshit!"
if this gets made.....
Originally posted by Wrong Robot
http://entertainment.msn.com/celebs/...px?news=149666
if this gets made.....
Are you talking about the Simpsons movie? (there are several movies on that page). If so, you're crazy! :P Anything remotely connected to the simpsons is great (with the exception of The Simpsons: Hit & Run)
but I'm really really hoping I'm proven wrong
--------------
Now playing: Cream/Tales of Brave Ulysses