Well, I can't relate to you too much Carol, because I tend to be able to make decisions easily.
The problem I have sometimes is I don't listen to myself. Usually my first inclination is right, like 85-90%. I usually make this mistake when it comes to dealing with people that I know. I am a very giving person and I tend to get myself into uncomfortable situations or overextend myself when it comes to helping people.
But I get a certain satisfaction from helping people so I just look at as the price you pay.
This *is* something you can remedy down the road, though?
Wouldn't getting an MD and a PhD at the same time be highly stressful for you?
The programs I referred to basically involve condensing the course work and shortening the dissertation/clinical.
But, I don't think they would be that stressful at the same time... but that is just me...
I can get an MD after I finish my PhD (or I can apply to the joint program this year, because after you qualify for a doctorate you can't take a break to do the MD)... I am hoping my thesis is short in any event... Still I look at what I can do with the knowledge/experience of the combined degree and i am sad...
I walked away from a 13 year relationship that just couldn't seem to be salvaged...
Thought it was going to kill me. She was a childhood sweetheart (well, 17) so I had literally spent my entire adult life up to that point with her.
She moved back to our home town, I stayed in California, and it was as if I didn't have any idea who I was or how to be or what to do without her. It took a solid year to not be just completely despondent.
She's married now with a terriffic little girl. I still love her with all my heart and visit whenever I visit my family. I think her husband is still a little uneasy about her "first love" coming around, but it's not like that, it's just that we made each other, in a sense, and she reminds me of some precious things about who I am.
She's married now with a terriffic little girl. I still love her with all my heart and visit whenever I visit my family. I think her husband is still a little uneasy about her "first love" coming around, but it's not like that, it's just that we made each other, in a sense, and she reminds me of some precious things about who I am.
You're lucky. My 'first love' married a first rate asshole. She and I met a few years ago for a drink and she had her 2 daughters with her. Cute as hell and definitely their mother's children. *He* somehow showed up and made a huge scene. I ended up telling him to fvck off and that I'd 'meet him outside'. Apparently this was the kind of action he was accustomed to, as he agreed. I talked with her for a few more minutes, asked what she wanted me to do, and left. She asked me to respect *his* wishes and never talk to her again. Insecure asshole.
I've seen her a few times since, and have respected her wish. Nary even eye contact. Sad.
I expect I'll kick his ass someday, though. Just because he deserves it.
You're lucky. My 'first love' married a first rate asshole. She and I met a few years ago for a drink and she had her 2 daughters with her. Cute as hell and definitely their mother's children. *He* somehow showed up and made a huge scene. I ended up telling him to fvck off and that I'd 'meet him outside'. Apparently this was the kind of action he was accustomed to, as he agreed. I talked with her for a few more minutes, asked what she wanted me to do, and left. She asked me to respect *his* wishes and never talk to her again. Insecure asshole.
I've seen her a few times since, and have respected her wish. Nary even eye contact. Sad.
I expect I'll kick his ass someday, though. Just because he deserves it.
Man, that sucks.
I'd be pretty bummed if I couldn't even talk to my ex.
still remember, most uncomfortable moment with an ex ever.
i'm at her wedding, first time i've seen her in a while. so we're at the end of the wedding, and the bride and groom are excusing the people from the isles, to give them a chance to talk to everyone for a minute or two.
so they get to our isle and it's my parents and me. she introduces us. we both have the same name, so she turns to her husband and says "eric, this is eric, i've told her about him before." and he says "no you haven't"
so she says "oh yeah i have, i used to date him, he was the first one who ever...... well..... nevermind."
that's it. she just stopped there. man, talk about an awkward moment. i've seen her a few times since then, and he still won't say two words to me.
I used to work for a well respected used book store in SF and scouted for them . . . I would go out on weekends get books at sales and etc then sell them for trade and get good quality books: rare Philosophy and Lit and good Art books of artists I like
the problem was that it became an obsession and I my girlfriend at the time dumped me becaiuse that is how we would spend time . . .
years later, I am much better *phwewI still have the books and I still occasionally buy a decent old copy, with DJ etc, bu I am not so fetishistic about it
i've never been a big fan of books. i think my problem is that i read a page, then sit there for half an hour thinking of how i would film the scene i just read, including lighting, special effects, editing, and all that. amazingly, i made it all the way through Rainbow Six (which is the best book ever).
Or that I didn't want to get a beating from 2 pissed off guys. 2 of them had boyfriends that were on their way back to campus... but I probably should have risked the beating. Oh well. \
Well, if they had boyfriends, I guess they weren't strictly lesbians. And if they 'invited' you to shower with them, I don't think 'they' would have mentioned the event to their boyfriends.
Ya shoulda gone for it, murbot! You would have become a legend in your own time! 'Course, maybe you already *are*....
Do you remember the scene in that Dracula movie where Keanu Reeves' body is ravished by three sexy female vampires? That coulda been *YOU*!!!
I was completely in love with a woman ~10ish years ago, and chose to pursue my career instead of staying with her.
The short version:
I was with her for 3-4 years, and we were both incredibly happy together. Beyond *love*, if that's allowed. Every summer she went to live with her grandmother in Greece and I'd travel around the country for a bit...stop in on my folks, maybe...and we'd meet up again afterwards. Usually a 2-3 month stint for the both of us. Sometimes she'd get back sooner, sometimes I.
Anyways, I got an incredible job offer out of state. Her grandmother didn't have a telephone, and I never needed one back then, so we wrote letters back and forth. The job started before she would get back, so I had to write a 'Dear Jane' (or Azeb, in this case) letter.
The most horrible and heart-wrenching thing I've ever had to do.
We talked afterwards, but between her schooling and my career we couldn't make the 2000 mile gap work.
I still think about her constantly.
Oh, 709, this is SO sad! For 'both' of you to be so happy together - I think that's pretty rare. And 'beyond love'?...wow.
Well, I can't relate to you too much Carol, because I tend to be able to make decisions easily.
The problem I have sometimes is I don't listen to myself. Usually my first inclination is right, like 85-90%. I usually make this mistake when it comes to dealing with people that I know. I am a very giving person and I tend to get myself into uncomfortable situations or overextend myself when it comes to helping people.
But I get a certain satisfaction from helping people so I just look at as the price you pay.
Oh well.
Hi Naples -
I guess it was my disastrous decision about getting married that made me so extra careful about subsequent choices.
But I'm only obsessive about 'major' life matters...not everything else wrt daily decisions.
If anything, I fly by the seat of my pants in the rest of my life - making choices on impulse and on the mood I happen to be in at the moment. Like, I was driving south on the freeway in Washington state, heading back home (a 2 1/2 day drive) after weeks on vacation in the Pacific Northwest. Suddenly, in Bellingham, I saw a freeway exit sign that said "Alaska Ferry". My decision took one second.
I swerved to take the exit and ended up going on a two-week ferry trip up the Inside Passage, as far north as Skagway...sleeping on the deck of the boat in my sleeping bag. God, what a wonderful trip that was. But to do it, I had to put my car in long-term storage, find a good kennel for my dog, take her to the vet to get tests and shots for the kennel, rent a storage locker for all the contents of my car in case it got broken into while in long-term storage. A lot of careful planning for a spur-of-the-moment, impulse trip. heh.
Even in teaching - I may have made lesson plans to do such-and-such. But I get sick of following plans, so I chuck them and do what feels right at the time. heh.
(Gemini moon sign = two completely opposite sides in operation at the same time.)
Carol, you're my kind of crazy. On that fateful trip to Europe, I took two guide books with me. Let's Go, and a guide to museums. I purposefully didn't crack either of them open until I was more than halfway there on the flight over to Frankfurt. I had a pack with a couple sets of clothes, toiletries, and some basics, an unlimited Eurail pass, and a return ticket from London.
And no plan.
It. Kicked. Ass. Loved it.
I have *GOT* to see your house... sounds a heck of a lot like one we almost bought last Jan. A clearstory loft with built-in bookcases overlooking the main room with the fireplace and everything. And I hear ya on books, my last excursion I ended up with:
First editions, hardbound of:
_Puck of Pook's Hill_, Rudyard Kipling, 1906
_By the Gods Beloved_, Baroness Orczy, no date (but the cover price is tuppence)
Ah, Europe. What an adventure. I did the same thing. Backpack and an unlimited Eurail pass. I also had a student I.D. (as a graduate student) and an international driver's license (just in case). The student ID got me cheap flights, like from Rome to Athens, and then from Athens to Copenhagen. I only had four weeks, so those two flights helped me cram more into my itinerary.
I landed in London, was there for a few days; but didn't do my planning for the rest of the trip until I got to Paris. The city was packed - all the youth hostels full. So I ended up sharing a room and bed (heh) for a few nights with two pre-med students from New York (guys) in a small hotel (5th floor, walk-up). And we were lucky to get 'that'!
What a fun time. Loved the whole trip. I *did* have to plan eventually though, because I wanted to cram in as much as I could. I only hitchhiked once - on the autobahn going west from Berlin.
I plan to live in the south of England for a few months in the summer of 2005. I already have some really cool vacation cottages lined up that I've found on the internet over the last two years...mostly in Devon and Cornwall. I was thinking of looking into buying a small motorbike while I'm there - something I could take on trains, and put in the trunk of a car when necessary. I've read that traffic in England can be appalling. I figure a small motorbike could go around the edges of traffic. heh. Wouldn't be great in the rain, but "oh well".
My house - well, I have SO much to do. If I take a year's leave from teaching, I'll finally be able to get stuff done around the house. The shelves I had built are white. I have seen ads from these modular office furniture stores - they have all kinds of pieces of white office modules - corner units, filing cabinets, etc. It will all look so nice once it's finished. The rest of the house needs attention too - the Casablanca look is what I want, with potted palms, ceiling fans, shutters. I have shutters in the entire house except the dining room, which has a bay-type window area. I have ceiling fans in the loft and the bedrooms, skylights in the loft and in the dining room.
I have a vegetable garden where I grew tomatoes, strawberries, broccoli, eggplant, carrots, celery, etc. But haven't had time for it this last year. Also have an orange tree that bears lots of oranges.
Your books sound *wonderful*. The Baroness Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel, didn't she?
Yeah, but the 1934 Leslie Howard version is the best. The 1917 silent film has some great swordplay, but is missing the fast verbal banter that *makes* the character.
Comments
The problem I have sometimes is I don't listen to myself. Usually my first inclination is right, like 85-90%. I usually make this mistake when it comes to dealing with people that I know. I am a very giving person and I tend to get myself into uncomfortable situations or overextend myself when it comes to helping people.
But I get a certain satisfaction from helping people so I just look at as the price you pay.
Oh well.
Originally posted by Carol A
Sad almost daily? Oh no. I feel awful for you.
This *is* something you can remedy down the road, though?
Wouldn't getting an MD and a PhD at the same time be highly stressful for you?
The programs I referred to basically involve condensing the course work and shortening the dissertation/clinical.
But, I don't think they would be that stressful at the same time... but that is just me...
I can get an MD after I finish my PhD (or I can apply to the joint program this year, because after you qualify for a doctorate you can't take a break to do the MD)... I am hoping my thesis is short in any event... Still I look at what I can do with the knowledge/experience of the combined degree and i am sad...
Originally posted by trumptman
But North, I'm in SoCal too, and so wanted to be stalked.
I'm not fiftyish, I don't have a bad back. I'd be much better than Al Franken too.
Nick
Thought it was going to kill me. She was a childhood sweetheart (well, 17) so I had literally spent my entire adult life up to that point with her.
She moved back to our home town, I stayed in California, and it was as if I didn't have any idea who I was or how to be or what to do without her. It took a solid year to not be just completely despondent.
She's married now with a terriffic little girl. I still love her with all my heart and visit whenever I visit my family. I think her husband is still a little uneasy about her "first love" coming around, but it's not like that, it's just that we made each other, in a sense, and she reminds me of some precious things about who I am.
Originally posted by addabox
She's married now with a terriffic little girl. I still love her with all my heart and visit whenever I visit my family. I think her husband is still a little uneasy about her "first love" coming around, but it's not like that, it's just that we made each other, in a sense, and she reminds me of some precious things about who I am.
You're lucky. My 'first love' married a first rate asshole. She and I met a few years ago for a drink and she had her 2 daughters with her. Cute as hell and definitely their mother's children. *He* somehow showed up and made a huge scene. I ended up telling him to fvck off and that I'd 'meet him outside'.
I've seen her a few times since, and have respected her wish. Nary even eye contact. Sad.
I expect I'll kick his ass someday, though. Just because he deserves it.
Originally posted by 709
You're lucky. My 'first love' married a first rate asshole. She and I met a few years ago for a drink and she had her 2 daughters with her. Cute as hell and definitely their mother's children. *He* somehow showed up and made a huge scene. I ended up telling him to fvck off and that I'd 'meet him outside'.
I've seen her a few times since, and have respected her wish. Nary even eye contact. Sad.
I expect I'll kick his ass someday, though. Just because he deserves it.
Man, that sucks.
I'd be pretty bummed if I couldn't even talk to my ex.
i'm at her wedding, first time i've seen her in a while. so we're at the end of the wedding, and the bride and groom are excusing the people from the isles, to give them a chance to talk to everyone for a minute or two.
so they get to our isle and it's my parents and me. she introduces us. we both have the same name, so she turns to her husband and says "eric, this is eric, i've told her about him before." and he says "no you haven't"
so she says "oh yeah i have, i used to date him, he was the first one who ever...... well..... nevermind."
that's it. she just stopped there. man, talk about an awkward moment. i've seen her a few times since then, and he still won't say two words to me.
Originally posted by alcimedes
so she says "oh yeah i have, i used to date him, he was the first one who ever...... well..... nevermind."
I'm guessing "extolled the virtues of Cocoa", but I may be off.
Originally posted by Carol A
)
I too collect books.
I used to work for a well respected used book store in SF and scouted for them . . . I would go out on weekends get books at sales and etc then sell them for trade and get good quality books: rare Philosophy and Lit and good Art books of artists I like
the problem was that it became an obsession and I my girlfriend at the time dumped me becaiuse that is how we would spend time . . .
years later, I am much better *phwewI still have the books and I still occasionally buy a decent old copy, with DJ etc, bu I am not so fetishistic about it
Originally posted by Northgate
Toughest decision I ever made was NOT to track Trumptman and SDW down and beat them senseless.
Violence is not the answ.... <BLAM!>
Originally posted by job
Picking a college.
I've been accepted to Georgetown University, the University of Chicago, Dartmouth, Harvard, Brown, and Denison University.
It's going to be tough to pick one, especially when Denison offered a full-tutition scholarship.
That was my toughest decision too. I'm not sure I made the right one (I'm currently at the Australian National University).
Assuming I survive my first year, I'll probably move to Adelaide (about 1000km away) and transfer to the University of Adelaide.
Hmmm... my life *is* quite bland looking at the above.
Barto
Originally posted by murbot
Or that I didn't want to get a beating from 2 pissed off guys. 2 of them had boyfriends that were on their way back to campus... but I probably should have risked the beating. Oh well.
Well, if they had boyfriends, I guess they weren't strictly lesbians. And if they 'invited' you to shower with them, I don't think 'they' would have mentioned the event to their boyfriends.
Ya shoulda gone for it, murbot! You would have become a legend in your own time!
Do you remember the scene in that Dracula movie where Keanu Reeves' body is ravished by three sexy female vampires? That coulda been *YOU*!!!
Originally posted by 709
I was completely in love with a woman ~10ish years ago, and chose to pursue my career instead of staying with her.
The short version:
I was with her for 3-4 years, and we were both incredibly happy together. Beyond *love*, if that's allowed. Every summer she went to live with her grandmother in Greece and I'd travel around the country for a bit...stop in on my folks, maybe...and we'd meet up again afterwards. Usually a 2-3 month stint for the both of us. Sometimes she'd get back sooner, sometimes I.
Anyways, I got an incredible job offer out of state. Her grandmother didn't have a telephone, and I never needed one back then, so we wrote letters back and forth. The job started before she would get back, so I had to write a 'Dear Jane' (or Azeb, in this case) letter.
The most horrible and heart-wrenching thing I've ever had to do.
We talked afterwards, but between her schooling and my career we couldn't make the 2000 mile gap work.
I still think about her constantly.
Oh, 709, this is SO sad! For 'both' of you to be so happy together - I think that's pretty rare. And 'beyond love'?...wow.
Originally posted by NaplesX
Well, I can't relate to you too much Carol, because I tend to be able to make decisions easily.
The problem I have sometimes is I don't listen to myself. Usually my first inclination is right, like 85-90%. I usually make this mistake when it comes to dealing with people that I know. I am a very giving person and I tend to get myself into uncomfortable situations or overextend myself when it comes to helping people.
But I get a certain satisfaction from helping people so I just look at as the price you pay.
Oh well.
Hi Naples -
I guess it was my disastrous decision about getting married that made me so extra careful about subsequent choices.
But I'm only obsessive about 'major' life matters...not everything else wrt daily decisions.
If anything, I fly by the seat of my pants in the rest of my life - making choices on impulse and on the mood I happen to be in at the moment. Like, I was driving south on the freeway in Washington state, heading back home (a 2 1/2 day drive) after weeks on vacation in the Pacific Northwest. Suddenly, in Bellingham, I saw a freeway exit sign that said "Alaska Ferry". My decision took one second.
I swerved to take the exit and ended up going on a two-week ferry trip up the Inside Passage, as far north as Skagway...sleeping on the deck of the boat in my sleeping bag. God, what a wonderful trip that was. But to do it, I had to put my car in long-term storage, find a good kennel for my dog, take her to the vet to get tests and shots for the kennel, rent a storage locker for all the contents of my car in case it got broken into while in long-term storage. A lot of careful planning for a spur-of-the-moment, impulse trip. heh.
Even in teaching - I may have made lesson plans to do such-and-such. But I get sick of following plans, so I chuck them and do what feels right at the time. heh.
(Gemini moon sign = two completely opposite sides in operation at the same time.)
And no plan.
It. Kicked. Ass. Loved it.
I have *GOT* to see your house... sounds a heck of a lot like one we almost bought last Jan. A clearstory loft with built-in bookcases overlooking the main room with the fireplace and everything. And I hear ya on books, my last excursion I ended up with:
First editions, hardbound of:
_Puck of Pook's Hill_, Rudyard Kipling, 1906
_By the Gods Beloved_, Baroness Orczy, no date (but the cover price is tuppence)
_The Mightiest Machine_, John W. Campbell, 1947
_The Ghost Seer_, Frederick Schiller, 1831
_The Jewel of Seven Stars_, Bram Stoker, 1919
_A Swiftly Tilting Planet_, Madeleine L'Engle, 1978
Also in hardbound:
_Lemuria, the Lost Continent of the Pacific_, W. S. Cerve, 1942 3rd ed. (Vol XII of the Rosicrucian Library)
And in paperback:
_You Only Live Twice_ and _On Her Majesty's Secret Service_, Ian Fleming, 1st paperback printings
My Ye Olde Booke section of the study is growing faster than it should.
And murbot... you're a dork.
Ah, Europe. What an adventure. I did the same thing.
I landed in London, was there for a few days; but didn't do my planning for the rest of the trip until I got to Paris. The city was packed - all the youth hostels full. So I ended up sharing a room and bed (heh) for a few nights with two pre-med students from New York (guys) in a small hotel (5th floor, walk-up). And we were lucky to get 'that'!
What a fun time. Loved the whole trip. I *did* have to plan eventually though, because I wanted to cram in as much as I could. I only hitchhiked once - on the autobahn going west from Berlin.
I plan to live in the south of England for a few months in the summer of 2005. I already have some really cool vacation cottages lined up that I've found on the internet over the last two years...mostly in Devon and Cornwall. I was thinking of looking into buying a small motorbike while I'm there - something I could take on trains, and put in the trunk of a car when necessary. I've read that traffic in England can be appalling. I figure a small motorbike could go around the edges of traffic. heh. Wouldn't be great in the rain, but "oh well".
My house - well, I have SO much to do. If I take a year's leave from teaching, I'll finally be able to get stuff done around the house. The shelves I had built are white. I have seen ads from these modular office furniture stores - they have all kinds of pieces of white office modules - corner units, filing cabinets, etc. It will all look so nice once it's finished. The rest of the house needs attention too - the Casablanca look is what I want, with potted palms, ceiling fans, shutters. I have shutters in the entire house except the dining room, which has a bay-type window area. I have ceiling fans in the loft and the bedrooms, skylights in the loft and in the dining room.
I have a vegetable garden where I grew tomatoes, strawberries, broccoli, eggplant, carrots, celery, etc. But haven't had time for it this last year. Also have an orange tree that bears lots of oranges.
Your books sound *wonderful*. The Baroness Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel, didn't she?
Originally posted by Carol A
Your books sound *wonderful*. The Baroness Orczy wrote The Scarlet Pimpernel, didn't she?
Got it in one.
"They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those Frenchmen seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell...
That damned elusive Pimpernel!"
I *love* that book.
Originally posted by Kickaha
Got it in one.
"They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those Frenchmen seek him everywhere.
Is he in heaven? Or is he in hell...
That damned elusive Pimpernel!"
I *love* that book.
Did you see the movie, with Jane Seymour and Anthony Andrews?