My mom...

messiahtosh

is dying. She had breast cancer at one point and was "cleared" and was recently suffering back pain. She had tests done, and now it looks as though she has spinal (bone) cancer. I dont even know at this point if she will see me graduate from high school. I sort of just found out and cant sleep. Listening to The Reason over and over...



I dont even know what to say. Just pray/hope, or whatever.



I..I just dont know.

alcimedes

i hope the best for you and your mom.

dmz

Don't be afraid of the doctors. Ask hard questions. With persistence you can get beyond the staff who are there to shield the doc.



Just be there for her. Being there, with her knowing that you care will mean a lot in any case.



This is in the hand of God.

jubelum

I'll keep your family in our prayer group. I can't imagine what you are dealing with. If you are of the Christian faith, remember that God will never leave you, no matter what.



All the best man. I hate this for you.

ghost_user_name

I went through similar stuff from A to Z with my mother and my sister. It's going to suck more than you'll ever want it to, but be there for her, yourself, and don't get mixed up with substance abuse. It can be tempting, and the BEST escape... but don't do it. Do whatever you can to stay away from abusing substances during this.

carol a

I am so very sorry for you and your mom. I will pray for you both. Life can be so unbearably painful.



Chris, my father died in his sleep three days ago, on Sunday, April 4, at the hospital. I haven't been able to take it in yet. I am a very emotional person, and when this hits me, I will be devastated. But it just hasn't gotten through to me. It's like I have built up a wall against pain, and the fact of his death hasn't been able to penetrate it yet. It will be terrible when it finally does.



I have been on this board posting in order to prevent myself from thinking about my dad's passing. In the last few years I have had to endure so much stress, that now it's as if my emotional core refuses to deal with any more. It's very strange...and it's obviously a coping mechanism. Some people here may be shocked to discover that I have been posting foolish things during a time of sorrow and mourning. I know that it must seem shocking; but I can guarantee that the pain of my father's death will hit me soon enough.



I don't know what to say to you, Chris. What comfort can one give? Nothing any of us could possibly say could really be meaningful for you. The death of parents is a terrible thing. Yet it's something every single one of us must endure. There's no way to remove what you will experience.



One thing I could say is that you should do everything you possibly can for her, so that you won't torture yourself with guilt and regrets down the road. Have someone take pictures of you hugging your mom. Hug her as often as you can and tell her you love her. I'm sure she knows that already, but she will still get great comfort from it. Tell her all the things for which you are grateful to her. Or write them in a letter, so that she can read it over and over again. Make a list before you write the letter, so you can include as many things as possible. Maybe write the letter in installments. Moms do so much for their kids, but it takes the kids a long time to appreciate things. Start appreciating now, and let her know.



I am so very sorry, Chris. Please PM me if you want to talk.



Carol

powerdoc

I am very sorry to hear this bad news. I hope the best for you and your family.



For the pronostic it depends if the bone spine cancer is related to the breast cancer or if it's a new disease.

Anyway if it can help you, i have heared a story of a woman (and a doctor) who is still alive ten years after several cure of metastasis of a breast cancer.

Even if statistic are bad, each story is unique : there is always hope. Be strong.

cosmonut

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but cherish every moment you have with your parents -- both of them -- from now on. Don't take anything for granted.



You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as well.

matsu

114 views and 7 posts.



How many other people were waiting to jump in and complete the obligatory "Your mom..." quip?



Life sucks and so does the web.

ibrowse

I wish your family the best, your mother's health will be in my mind.



Keep a strong heart.

mslifkin

Chris,



I'm so sorry for you. My Mom passed away two years ago, on Easter Sunday. It still hurts, and I still beat myself up about stupid crap I did when I was a kid. Everything that everyone said in this thread is absolutely correct. Just make sure that she's comfortable, let her know how much you love her, and try to prepare yourself for what might happen. It's not going to be easy, but it looks like you've got some friends to help you through it. I wish you and your family nothing but the best.



Carol,



There's nothing wrong with trying to distract yourself from something so painful. As you said, you're well aware that it's going to hit you eventually. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like he passed peacefully, which is always a blessing. I guess all I can add is take comfort in the good times that you and your father had.



sincerely,

Marc

fellowship

My heart goes out you you and your family. Your family will be in my prayers.



Fellowship

messiahtosh

Thank you, everyone. I wont forget this from you guys, it's great to know people actually care, or at least say they do. No matter, it feels better just to know more prayers are being said...My mom gets more test results back today and a second opinion from the Hershey Medical Center, hopefully things change, or look better. All I know is that a 90% fatality rate is devastatingly bad news.

hassan i sabbah

Good luck. Keep it together.

kraig911

I'm so sorry... and there isn't much to say except I feel so bad for you and your family. My mother is a hospice nurse so I hear of a lot of things such as this, even with her patients dying left and right acknowledging their terminal illness and what not with letting go, she still goes to their funerals and always gets emotional. It sounds like your mom is still good enough to fight the good fight, because she's done it before. From what my mother says, fighters almost always fight it off, but always live longer too. Be there for her, stay confident, expect the worst, pray for the best. There is always a chance. You and your family are in my prayers.

kickaha

Jeez man, my thoughts are with you. If your Mom did it once, she has a much better chance now... she knows the drill. I've lost two family members to cancer, and had a couple more successfully fight it off. It's rough no matter what happens.



And at this point, everything sounds cliche anyway, so what the heck: hang in there.

billybobsky

Chris,

I am so sorry man. Are they concerned that the breast cancer metastasized before they "cleared" it?

Your mom needs to see that you care, and want her to be around to see your kids and grandkids... Stay yourself...



Bruce

amorph

I lost my grandfather to multiple myeloma. Granted, his was just about everywhere by the time they found it, so there was nothing they could do. It sounds like your mom still has a fighting chance.



My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother as I do my little part in finding cures for cancer (that's my job).



God bless you both.

talksense101

Messiahtosh, I hope things work out for your mom. Keep the faith.



I find that having someone to talk to in your family works best at times like these. Find someone who has your respect and strike a conversation with them on the subject. You might do well to talk to your mom on the topic too.

nebulous

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but my prayers, thoughts, and good vibes will be with you and your Mother. Keep hope, and treasure every moment you have.

Feel free to pm me if you need another person to talk to.

Good luck, dear.

messiahtosh

Thank you all, once again. My mom had her tests done in Hershey today, so we'll find out what the second opinion is sometime this weekend. She said to me on the phone today, when she was on her way back from the medical center, that the doctors there were more optomistic. Supposedly it could just be disc problem in her back and not cancer at all! They said it is also possible that the doctor saw what he thought was a tumor, but is actually a shadow on the xray. Here's hoping.



That would be a dramatic reversal of fortune if it is indeed just a "shadow." But still, its only been a year since she "won" her battle with breast cancer. I just hope its the best case scenario. She is just starting to get more active and fully healthy, another setback just might make her fold.



Thanks all.