Something funny worked its way into my inbox.

Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL



The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

Chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was

so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the

Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it

as well.



Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas

cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some

variant. One student, however, wrote the following:



First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need

to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are

leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it

will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.



As for how many souls are entering Hell, some religions state that if you

are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are

more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than

one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death

rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially.



Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law

states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the

same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:



1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter

Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell

breaks loose.



2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,

then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.



So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Mangimelli

during my Freshman year "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I

sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not

succeeded in having done so, # 2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that

Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.



The student received the only "A" given.
«13

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 44
    pfflampfflam Posts: 5,053member




    great!
  • Reply 2 of 44
    crazychestercrazychester Posts: 1,339member
    Divine inspiration.
  • Reply 3 of 44
    a_greera_greer Posts: 4,594member
    SUPERB





    no sweet booty for the science nerd.

    LMFAO
  • Reply 4 of 44
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member




    Funny as hell!
  • Reply 5 of 44
    xionjaxionja Posts: 504member
  • Reply 6 of 44
    dviantdviant Posts: 483member
    hehe thats pretty clever
  • Reply 7 of 44
    existenceexistence Posts: 991member
    The answer is flawed. It does not state that souls have a volume. For all I know, souls could be bosonic leptons.



    Since the question is testing Boyle's Law, failure to explicitly mention souls have a volume is a critical flaw. I would give this answer a D at best.



    Quote:

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



    Since the answer does not state that souls have a volume, this restatement of Boyle's Law is incorrect.
  • Reply 8 of 44
    And since someone has already pissed on the main premise, I'll point out that claiming that Hell will never freeze simply because it hasn't frozen *yet* doesn't stand up to logic either.



    Yeah, I know it's just a joke.
  • Reply 9 of 44
    newnew Posts: 3,244member
    brilliant!
  • Reply 10 of 44
    brbr Posts: 8,395member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Existence

    The answer is flawed. It does not state that souls have a volume. For all I know, souls could be bosonic leptons.



    Since the question is testing Boyle's Law, failure to explicitly mention souls have a volume is a critical flaw. I would give this answer a D at best.







    Since the answer does not state that souls have a volume, this restatement of Boyle's Law is incorrect.




    I hate people that ruin jokes like this. Uptight snobby no fun pricks the lot of them.
  • Reply 11 of 44
    a_greera_greer Posts: 4,594member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stupider...likeafox

    And since someone has already pissed on the main premise, I'll point out that claiming that Hell will never freeze simply because it hasn't frozen *yet* doesn't stand up to logic either.



    Yeah, I know it's just a joke.




    What about the existance of hell its self? It may be little more than an anciant ploy to scare people streight...
  • Reply 12 of 44
    existenceexistence Posts: 991member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stupider...likeafox

    And since someone has already pissed on the main premise, I'll point out that claiming that Hell will never freeze simply because it hasn't frozen *yet* doesn't stand up to logic either.



    What's worse, Boyle's law is formulated for ideal gases. No where in Boyle's law are phase transitions relevant. This is another failure of understanding on the student's part.



    I think the test question is flawed and the instructor should me reprimanded for cultural insensitivity. Not all religions have Hell and the notion of Hell as changed greatly with time. In Dante's Inferno, at the center of the Earth where Satan resides, Hell is a cold tundra where tears cannot come because of the frigitity. Thus in this case, Hell is endothermic.

  • Reply 13 of 44
    murbotmurbot Posts: 5,261member
    Someone needs to get up off their chair-mounted butttplug and go outside.



    I bet you're a real hit at parties.
  • Reply 14 of 44
    existenceexistence Posts: 991member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by murbot

    Someone needs to get up off their chair-mounted butttplug and go outside.



    I bet you're a real hit at parties.




    You're more insensitive than the instructor who put that filth on the test. What if I am wheelchair bound? If I were disabled, by your sarcastic implication, people like me who are disabled aren't hits at parties. Thanks for being a jerk.



  • Reply 15 of 44
    murbotmurbot Posts: 5,261member
    Honestly, I have no idea how to reply to that post.



    Uh. Jesus. I just tried again. No luck.



    I have no idea what you are fucking saying. How you can get THAT from my post is pretty funny.
  • Reply 16 of 44
    shetlineshetline Posts: 4,695member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by a_greer

    What about the existance of hell its self? It may be little more than an anciant ploy to scare people streight...



    If only bad spelling were considered a mortal sin. Perhaps we should take it up in "committy".
  • Reply 17 of 44
    playmakerplaymaker Posts: 511member
    thank you for ending my week with a smile
  • Reply 18 of 44
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    Answer:

    I am so impressed with your knowledge I will now have sex with you.



    Question:

    What is something nerdy thread-shitters will never hear?
  • Reply 19 of 44
    newnew Posts: 3,244member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by groverat

    Answer:

    I am so impressed with your knowledge I will now have sex with you.



    Question:

    What is something nerdy thread-shitters will never hear?




    What? I hear that all the time...
  • Reply 20 of 44
    faust9faust9 Posts: 1,335member
    Heaven is pretty balmy too: http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/hell.htm
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