New Commercial ideas thread

dcqdcq
Posted:
in General Discussion edited January 2014
Someone in the Leopard discussion mentioned new commercials that touted Leopards features, specifically Time Machine. I whipped this up and posted it there, but it's kinda off-topic there. I figured: what better place than Temporary Insanity, right? (BTW, if Steve Jobs is reading this and wants to hire me for my brilliant ideas, I could be persuaded. )



PC: [standing around, doing something innocuous.]



Enter Mac, carrying a box of photos.



Mac: Hey, I found them. Here we go.



PC: Huh? What are you talking about?



Mac: All my photos. Remember?



PC: I have no idea what you're talking about.



Mac tries to get a word in edgewise, but PC continues indignantly.



PC: I know you're supposed to be the best at the [airquote] digital lifestyle stuff. But the truth is I can do all those things too.



Mac: oookaaaay.....



PC: For instance, take a look at these photos.



Mac: Alright.



PC: [searching pockets] Yeah. You should see the phat effects I added with Paint.



Mac: I can't wait.



PC: [struggling to find his photos] "Awesome" doesn't even describe it.



Mac: I bet.



Enter another Mac.



2nd Mac: Hey, what's he doing?



1st Mac: [unconcerned that a duplicate has just shown up] Hey. He's looking for his photos. I think he lost them.



PC: [getting more frustrated] I didn't lose them! [Looks up and sees two Macs. Confusion. Becomes more confused as he realizes what he's seeing.]



2nd Mac: You know we have some great photos too.



1st Mac: Oh, yeah. We could show him our photocast of our trip to Mexico. [To PC] You wanna check 'em out?



PC: [mouth open with disbelief, nods.]



2nd Mac: [starts looking but can't find them either] Hmm. I must've misplaced them or something.



1st Mac: [quietly] What?



PC: [to 1st Mac] See! It's not just me!



2nd Mac: You know what. I'll just go back in time and get them. [walks off camera]



PC: What? You can't do that. That's impossible! [looks after him, waiting for him to come back]



(1st) Mac: Actually, with Time Machine on Mac OS X, we can go back and find anything we've accidentally lost or deleted, from important documents, contacts, music, movies, and...uh...photos.



PC: [still looking off in the distance] No, [turns to Mac] you can't. You can't go back in time, find photos that you lost who knows when, and bring them to the fut--err, present.



Mac: Yes, we can.



PC: Well, then where are they?



Mac: [holds up box of photos] right here.



PC: [raises his finger, about to speak, becomes more confused]



Cut to Voiceover [animation of Time Machine in action]: Now with Time Machine automatic data retrieval utility built in to Mac OS X, you never have to worry about losing important data. Ever. [animation cuts to standard image of iMac. Quick cut to:]



PC: [looking at Mac's photos] Oh, that is cool.



[Cut]
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 25
    SpamSandwichSpamSandwich Posts: 30,581member
    Isn't this a cross-post?
  • Reply 2 of 25
    i don't care what you say, that right there is funny
  • Reply 3 of 25
    That was pretty cleaver actually. Very in tune with those ads too. You're not in the ad department are you?
  • Reply 4 of 25
    icfireballicfireball Posts: 2,594member
    It's clever but its wayyyyy to long. Simplify it a bit and you have yourself a comercial
  • Reply 5 of 25
    dcqdcq Posts: 349member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jdcfsu


    That was pretty cleaver actually. Very in tune with those ads too. You're not in the ad department are you?



    Thanks.



    Nah, not an ad-man. A teacher actually. But if someone's hiring...



    (And Spam, yeah, it was a cross-post. But it was off-topic in the thread, so I thought i'd switch it to Temp Insanity.)
  • Reply 6 of 25
    dcqdcq Posts: 349member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by icfireball


    It's clever but its wayyyyy to long. Simplify it a bit and you have yourself a comercial



    Ugh. You're right. I just timed it and it came out to a minute and 20 seconds... Guess I won't be quitting my day-job.
  • Reply 7 of 25
    icfireballicfireball Posts: 2,594member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DCQ


    Ugh. You're right. I just timed it and it came out to a minute and 20 seconds... Guess I won't be quitting my day-job.



    It would be pretty easy to cut down in time though.



    I've had some really good ad ideas I wish I'd be able to capitalize on. I'll find the scripts I wrote for them and post a few.
  • Reply 8 of 25
    icfireballicfireball Posts: 2,594member
    Jeep Ad

    [Clip of children playing in mud]

    You Didn’t Listen To Your Mother

    [Clip of muddy jeep]

    We Didn’t Either

    [Shows picture of a muddy jeep splashing through puddle]

    Jeep. Play in the Mud.





    Jeep Ad

    [Pixilized jeep, then un-pixilized to reveal muddy jeep]

    Jeep.

    Get Dirty.

    [Muddy car engine revs up]

    {possible second jeep honk}





    Got Milk? Ad

    [Kids with milk carton sitting around a lunch table and slide it to one person and each person slides it to another, etc, and it gets pretty crazy, and then finally, the person who started opens the milk, and drinks it.]

    "Shake Stuff Up."

    "Got Chocolate Milk?"





    Miller Light Ad -or- Soda Ad

    A person opens a bottom of Miller Light and the shot is of the bubbles rising from a bottle. The person takes a drink and then starts floating upwards into the sky to pass a hot air balloon, and the side of a plane window, and through a cloud, and by an astronaut in space, and finally to a shot of the earth from space. In the black around the earth this text appears:

    "Miller Light -- good things come in light packages" (or in the case of a soda ad, the soda's slogan)





    Livesrtong Ad

    A livestrong band is thrown up in the air and while it spins you see clips of athletes concluding with Lance Armstrong winning the Tour De France.

    At the end it says.

    “LIVESTRONG”
  • Reply 9 of 25
    irelandireland Posts: 17,538member
    .

    New commercial:



    Guy walks into a bar, barman says "what's that you got under your arm?" Guy says "it's a roll of tarmacadam, now give me two beers". Barman says "why have got a roll of tarmacadam under your arm? And why do you want two beers?" Guy says "Well one beer's for me and one's for the road".



    Cue the iMac, and a voice that says "Mac users have a sense of humor too"
  • Reply 10 of 25
    icfireballicfireball Posts: 2,594member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ireland


    .

    New commercial:



    Guy walks into a bar, barman says "what's that you got under your arm?" Guy says "it's a roll of tarmacadam, now give me two beers". Barman says "why have got a roll of tarmacadam under your arm? And why do you want two beers?" Guy says "Well one beer's for me and one's for the road".



    Cue the iMac, and a voice that says "Mac users have a sense of humor too"



    It's a funny joke but not a good commercial. You're promoting drinking and driving.
  • Reply 11 of 25
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ireland


    .

    New commercial:



    Guy walks into a bar, barman says "what's that you got under your arm?" Guy says "it's a roll of tarmacadam, now give me two beers". Barman says "why have got a roll of tarmacadam under your arm? And why do you want two beers?" Guy says "Well one beer's for me and one's for the road".



    Cue the iMac, and a voice that says "Mac users have a sense of humor too"



    i dont get it...
  • Reply 12 of 25
    slugheadslughead Posts: 1,169member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by icfireball


    It's a funny joke but not a good commercial. You're promoting drinking and driving.



    We Irish are required to drink and drive. Driving while sober is illegal in ireland IIRC.
  • Reply 13 of 25
    icfireballicfireball Posts: 2,594member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by slughead


    We Irish are required to drink and drive. Driving while sober is illegal in ireland IIRC.



    At any rate -- that only makes sense as a beer comercial (and thats debatable) - not as a computer comercial.



    And I don't think you recall correctly.







    Ireland's Rules of the Road:



    Children in cars: Children under 12 cannot travel in the front unless using a suitable restraint system.



    Documentation: always carry your driving licence, vehicle registration document (V5), and certificate of motor insurance. If your licence does not incorporate a photograph ensure you carry your passport to validate the licence. If the vehicle is not registered in your name, carry a letter from the registered owner giving you permission to drive.



    Drinking and driving: Don't do it. Over 0.08 per cent and you could face anything up to imprisonment.



    Fines: On the spot fines are issued for parking offences. Ensure an official receipt is issued by the officer collecting the fine.



    First-aid kit is advised, but not compulsory.



    Fuel: All grades of petrol, diesel and LPG are available as well as lead replacement petrol (LRP). It is allowed to carry petrol in a can. Credit and debit cards are widely accepted. It's a good idea to let your card issuer know you will be travelling abroad. This ensures they don't suspend your card if they spot it being used in unfamiliar places, which they sometimes do as an anti-fraud measure.



    GB sticker: UK registered vehicles displaying Euro-plates (circle of 12 stars above the national identifier on blue background) no longer need a GB sticker when driving in European Union countries.



    Headlamp converters are not required for GB cars as in Ireland you drive on the left.



    Horns not to be used between 23:30 hrs and 07:00 hrs.



    Lights: dipped headlights must be used in poor daytime visibility. Motorcycles must use dipped headlights during the day at all times.



    Minimum age for driving, provided you hold a full UK licence, is 17 for a car and for a motorcycle over 125cc.



    Mobile phones: it is illegal to drive and use a mobile phone in Ireland.



    Motorcycle drivers and passengers must wear crash helmets.



    Motor insurance: third-party insurance is compulsory. A green card is not required but your insurer should be advised of your trip.



    Parking: Parking regulations are strictly enforced, particularly in Dublin city. Tow trucks and vehicle disabling programs are in operation. Parking meters operate in the centre. The typical cost is € 1,30 to 1,90 per hour. Disk parking operates outside the central zone and in some suburbs and many cities outside Dublin. Some multi-storey car parks accept credit cards. You can also charge your on street car parking to your mobile phone account using mPark (registration required).



    Seat belts are compulsory for front and rear seat occupants, if fitted.



    Speed limits: Limits on major roads outside built-up areas vary from 60 - 100 km/h - look for signs.



    Tolls: are payable at two points in the Dublin area - M50 Ring Road between the N4 and N3 interchanges only (toll EUR1.80 for cars) on the R131 East Link Bridge: € 1.00 for cars, with higher tolls for vans and trucks.



    Tolls are being introduced on some new motorways, for example the E1 (M1) route which connects Dublin and Belfast. The toll charge for cars is € 1.50. Cash only. No credit cards. Further general information is available at the NRA website.



    Visibility Vests are now compulsory in Italy, Austria and Spain (and likely to become compulsory throughout the EU) if you need to walk on a motorway. In Spain we've been told you need a vest for every potential occupant of the car, and that they must be carried inside the car, rather than in the boot. Other sources have said you don't have to carry one, but if you breakdown on the motorway you will be breaking the law if you walk to an emergency phone without one. We're trying to clarify the position.



    Warning triangle is recommended.
  • Reply 14 of 25
    irelandireland Posts: 17,538member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by the kid 05


    i dont get it...



    Tarmacadam



    The rest of you guys need to relax or something, you didn't really honestly think I though that would make a good Mac commercial, It's a bloody joke "Icfireball" even posted the Irish rules of the road. Oh and in case you missed it "Slughead" was being sarcastic.
  • Reply 15 of 25
    ireland i wans' trying to up tight i just didn't get it. but thanks for the explanation
  • Reply 16 of 25
    irelandireland Posts: 17,538member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by the kid 05


    ireland i wans' trying to up tight i just didn't get it. but thanks for the explanation



    No problem.
  • Reply 17 of 25
    icfireballicfireball Posts: 2,594member
    I only posted the rules of the road because I thought that I was responding to something Ireland posted. It was a good joke btw -- as I mentioned earlier.
  • Reply 18 of 25
    aquaticaquatic Posts: 5,602member
    How about a commercial that shows OS X?
  • Reply 19 of 25
    SpamSandwichSpamSandwich Posts: 30,581member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by icfireball


    It's a funny joke but not a good commercial. You're promoting drinking and driving.



    tarmacadam |ˈtärməˌkadəm| noun chiefly Brit.



    another term for Tarmac .



    DERIVATIVES tarmacadamed adjective ORIGIN late 19th cent.: from tar 1 + macadam .
  • Reply 20 of 25
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by icfireball


    And I don't think you recall correctly.





    i dont think you get humour and sarcasm and if you do, i dont think you can recall them!



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