A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Somebody asked her how that could be possible. "Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage. The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day. The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be."
Q. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.
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NSFW or kids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNC1UyVEOic
This one is okay too, but he's talking about old Macs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yg7Xh0m_Oco
Q. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.