Apple forces bathroom escorts on WWDC reporters
Paranoia on the part of Apple reached a new high this week when the company refused to allow journalists covering its annual developers conference to use the restroom facilities on site without a personal escort.
After some debate, ComputerWorld's Matt Hamblen wrote a lengthy blog post on the matter because he found it somewhat demoralizing and embarrassing, especially given that he was covering the conference from a secure press area that Apple itself had the opportunity to select and isolate more appropriately if it so chose.
"I started off for the wash room, but was told by Apple officials that I couldn't go alone," he wrote, claiming that the seemingly absurd measure was the result of both Apple chief executive Steve Jobs and a just-announced iPhone 3G being somewhere within a 50 yard radius.
Having obliged to Apple's demand the first time around, Hamblen who had been drinking quite a bit of coffee found himself in need of a second trip to the facilities. So instead of "looking ill" by approaching the same man who'd accompanied him prior, he asked a female Apple staffer if he could possibly handle the return trip on his own. No dice.
"So, I went to my favorite restroom escort, and he looked at me like I WAS ill," Hamblen wrote. He then explained to the escorts that he wasn't an old man with a bladder problem, but had simply been slurping a lot of caffeine. That, however, made him the subject of considerable mockery once he entered the bathroom, as the escorts traded "jokes about what might be wrong" with him.
On his second trip to the restroom, Hamblen was also warned not to talk too loudly because Jobs was behind a curtain somewhere conducting an interview. "Apparently, I not only have a bladder problem, but I run off loudly at the mouth as well," he wrote. "I shared my story of these trips to the john with some journalist friends sitting in the press room, and they began to tell me their tales of Apple paranoia."
One friend noted that during a press event at the company's Cupertino campus, she was treated "treated like a convict on home suspension," almost as if she should have been wearing an ankle bracelet.
"So, through the rest of the afternoon, my reporter friends, women and men alike, said they were going to storm the barricades and visit the bathroom without an escort," Hamblen continued. "One said she made it back without the escort, and a man said he told the escort he was going on the floor unless he could go on his own."
The situation was certainly odd, and akin to a fourth grader asking for a "potty pass," especially since Hamblen was later privy to an authorized interview with Apple staffers in which he got to handle two new iPhone 3G units -- both a white and black model.
"[I] noticed the feel of the plastic rear portion (to allow easy transmission of radio signals) and the slight bulge in the shape," he wrote. "While I was allowed to hold them, I was not allowed to photograph them."
After some debate, ComputerWorld's Matt Hamblen wrote a lengthy blog post on the matter because he found it somewhat demoralizing and embarrassing, especially given that he was covering the conference from a secure press area that Apple itself had the opportunity to select and isolate more appropriately if it so chose.
"I started off for the wash room, but was told by Apple officials that I couldn't go alone," he wrote, claiming that the seemingly absurd measure was the result of both Apple chief executive Steve Jobs and a just-announced iPhone 3G being somewhere within a 50 yard radius.
Having obliged to Apple's demand the first time around, Hamblen who had been drinking quite a bit of coffee found himself in need of a second trip to the facilities. So instead of "looking ill" by approaching the same man who'd accompanied him prior, he asked a female Apple staffer if he could possibly handle the return trip on his own. No dice.
"So, I went to my favorite restroom escort, and he looked at me like I WAS ill," Hamblen wrote. He then explained to the escorts that he wasn't an old man with a bladder problem, but had simply been slurping a lot of caffeine. That, however, made him the subject of considerable mockery once he entered the bathroom, as the escorts traded "jokes about what might be wrong" with him.
On his second trip to the restroom, Hamblen was also warned not to talk too loudly because Jobs was behind a curtain somewhere conducting an interview. "Apparently, I not only have a bladder problem, but I run off loudly at the mouth as well," he wrote. "I shared my story of these trips to the john with some journalist friends sitting in the press room, and they began to tell me their tales of Apple paranoia."
One friend noted that during a press event at the company's Cupertino campus, she was treated "treated like a convict on home suspension," almost as if she should have been wearing an ankle bracelet.
"So, through the rest of the afternoon, my reporter friends, women and men alike, said they were going to storm the barricades and visit the bathroom without an escort," Hamblen continued. "One said she made it back without the escort, and a man said he told the escort he was going on the floor unless he could go on his own."
The situation was certainly odd, and akin to a fourth grader asking for a "potty pass," especially since Hamblen was later privy to an authorized interview with Apple staffers in which he got to handle two new iPhone 3G units -- both a white and black model.
"[I] noticed the feel of the plastic rear portion (to allow easy transmission of radio signals) and the slight bulge in the shape," he wrote. "While I was allowed to hold them, I was not allowed to photograph them."
Comments
Yes, but did he wash his hands before handling the new iPhones?
When you were a child, your parents probably taught you to wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
He probably didn't wash his hands because his parents taught him not to pee on his hands when he goes to the bathroom.
Old but good.
Perhaps if our government is interested in more "National Security" they should look to Apple for tips of the trade?
and as Paul Havey use to say ? "and now you know the rest of the story"! (once we've told the story.
Skip
I'm sure they were following orders... but the WAY they followed them was just uncalled for.
I just got this picture in my head of your Apple bathroom escort sitting on your lap (with a stoic stony look on his or her face) while you are taking a dump.
Eeeeeewww!
Remember ... you're only getting half the story here.
After all, all Apple wants to do at the expense of everything and anything else, just like any other publicly traded company, is return a profit to its shareholders.
If you think a corporation should be or do anything else (be nice, help old ladies cross the street, not spill hazardous material into the ocean, kiss the asses of visitors to its campus, etc.) at the expense of returning a profit to its shareholders, then you're the wrong species of animal.
It's all fun and games until we see Samsung or HTC with a cheap ripoff of the iPhone hitting the streets in a few weeks...I wonder how they got access to the hardware so fast.
This happening is ripe for a standup comic who works IT shows.
Apple doesn't want to see any of it's employees passing off USB mini-drives of information about their IP.
It seems absurd, but then again we get information about famous people as if the reporters were literally occupying the same bodies, but obviously follow these people around like flies to crap.
Overhearing conversations between Apple Engineers who shoot the s*** wherever is nothing new.
I used to hear some of the worst crap come out of the mouths of folks working at Apple. I didn't bother narcing. I just walked-in on the conversations when they were so full of it that it just seemed proper to call them on it.
The internal website used to have what would now be considered an anonymous blog where people would vent.
When the Sabbatical Program was cancelled [effecting 1/3 of current staff] there were large quantities of comments stating that those 12 weeks of paid vacation were all that was keeping them at Apple.
This was in 1998 before the iMac was released and Steve was transforming all departments.
Being from NeXT I looked upon these folks as bottom-feeders used to getting perks like they were royalty.
The same infection still resides inside the Apple communities and corporate workforce. Most often they come from the dumbest and least skilled mouths you've ever met.
Steve Jobs' WWDC keynote was about meeting expectations. It's possible that one more thing will pop up between now and July 11th.
AT&T and Apple should do everyone a favor and start collecting Zip Code data on people intending to buy the phone on Day 1 -3. If they don't, their service reputation will suffer. They should also tell people waiting in line how many iPhones may be available in their store.
This is awesome. If you're a shareholder (raising my hand), you love these stories of paranoia and protecting IP.
After all, all Apple wants to do at the expense of everything and anything else, just like any other publicly traded company, is return a profit to its shareholders.
If you think a corporation should be or do anything else (be nice, help old ladies cross the street, not spill hazardous material into the ocean, kiss the asses of visitors to its campus, etc.) at the expense of returning a profit to its shareholders, then you're the wrong species of animal.
It's all fun and games until we see Samsung or HTC with a cheap ripoff of the iPhone hitting the streets in a few weeks...I wonder how they got access to the hardware so fast.
Sorry, no. This sort of security theater won't change that, and it is just that, theatrics. The design of the iPhone changed almost none at all. No one is saying that Apple has to help anyone, I'm not seeing what's being protected here that justifies violating someone's dignity.
I wonder why Apple doesn't want iPhone to be photographed untill July 11? I mean the first iPhone was all over the news with videos and pictures. This time is very secure. Hmm ... very strange. Perhaps Apple is holding a secret.
No. Apple just wants the media to use ONLY the official photos provided by Apple so all photos anybody sees look outstanding.
This is awesome. If you're a shareholder (raising my hand), you love these stories of paranoia and protecting IP.
After all, all Apple wants to do at the expense of everything and anything else, just like any other publicly traded company, is return a profit to its shareholders.
If you think a corporation should be or do anything else (be nice, help old ladies cross the street, not spill hazardous material into the ocean, kiss the asses of visitors to its campus, etc.) at the expense of returning a profit to its shareholders, then you're the wrong species of animal.
It's all fun and games until we see Samsung or HTC with a cheap ripoff of the iPhone hitting the streets in a few weeks...I wonder how they got access to the hardware so fast.
Why does it seem like on every story about Apple doing something negative, there is always some Joe six-pack claiming to be a "concerned shareholder" that excuses or even celebrates Apple's asinine behavior?!?
Secondly, I disagree with much of the post. Protecting IP is obviously a very important reason to have effective security, but making reporters have a personal escort to the bathroom is beyond ridiculous. It's not as if they are sitting in an area surrounded by Apple R&D labs for god sakes. Apple runs the whole show -- they could have easily placed them in a proper area with easy access to the restrooms. Besides, these people were getting personal access to the iPhone 3G anyways, so what could they have possibly been worried about? A reporter attacking Steve Jobs from behind with a press pass lanyard?
As for other manufacturers building iClones, they sure as heck don't need to steal an iPhone to do it. all the components are common and well known, and the 3G iPhone hardly changes anything from the original. I doubt Samsung or HTC would even care about what exact components are in the iPhone, or that they could even take away any kind of strategic knowledge from knowing that.