And I also heard that Mr. Jobs ejaculated 4 or 5 times this week, beginning Monday! The sources claim that it's part of his appetite training exercise!
Depak Chopra is ecstatic about the progress his high profile student is making on the cusp of his company introducing a new Mystery Product!
"The amount of Steve's discharge would have been remarkable for the men half his age", said the Guru to the stars!
The Concerned Investors, speculators, and whomever, are back, buying AAPL STOCK http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=AAPL, hugging their children, and trying to locate a store that might have an iPhone in stock!
"The whole thing was nuts", said said Obama, while in Iraq, and McCain called for insider training investigation, but Ken Starr sited previous commitment -- reportedly he is working on his book, supposedly titled Monica...
Meanwhile, Jobs and Bill Gates people are talking about about a Reality TV show based on the Tech Titans love of table tennis. As a that sports fan, I can relate, and so can the Chinese Cell Providers, who are about to launch the highly coveted iPhone in China! So who needs Forrest Gump!?!
The Associated Press is reporting that The Street is looking for Jobs to ejaculate 12-15 times this week alone, but the unnamed sources claim that Apple's CEO is poised to beat it, and by a substantial margin! So who needs Michael Jackson!?!
Based on the above tidbits, it's safe to conclude that Steve Jobs is likely not dead, and that the black turtleneck fans of his should go on about their own business!
And now this attempted humor article's author is going back to his life, while the Options Traders are conspiring their next Sky Is Falling play!, to be analyzed to death, and re-chewed multiple times at sites like http://www.appleinvestornews.com/page-one.html
You know, as much as I respect Steve's (and Apple's) privacy, I can't get my arms around why it would be such a freakin big deal for him to just come out and say something short and sweet as to why he looks as thin as he does. This is a public company, after all.
You know, as much as I respect Steve's (and Apple's) privacy, I can't get my arms around why it would be such a freakin big deal for him to just come out and say something short and sweet as to why he looks as thin as he does. This is a public company, after all.
The day after Steve Jobs leaves Apple would be the end of an era in computing history, stock holders, media, internauts, etc.. will be faced with the dilema of "growing up" and start doing something for themselves other that push people to their graves.. Steve Jobs will become a legend.. a god.. hopefully the new generation to come will have the courage to embark in new proyects, in new ideas, think for yourself, socrates said.. when I think of the return of jobs to apple as "gift" from the electronic gods or something, 10 years later he´s still here and still working his ass off for all of you to write bullshit about it, 99.99% idiots, that´s the percentage that more or less i think there are on this planet, with only 0.01% a little less idiotic, that´s all..
nobody wants steve gone, and for those who do:
99.99% you fucking idiots!!!
I propose this as the official AppleInsider raving lunatic rant of the week...!
So all the noise about his health did force a Mole (confidential source) close to Jobs (How Close Is Mole?) to leak information to the NYT. Just Imagine the Mole receiving instructions to share with an east coast big city daily newspaper. Confidential source (Mole) now has NYTs protection from disclosure. SEC can't talk to or find mole.
Jobs health talk goes away: until next outing, that is. Jobs says nuthin, BoD says nuthin. Any legal obligation to report material information by Apple et. al. goes away for another day.
For selfish reasons I want SJ to live a VERY LONG LIFE! He is truly an innovator and has given us some great products. IMO the latest iphone debacle is evidence of what happens when Steve is not 100%. When he is gone Apple will return to what it once was, a mediocre tech company teetering on the verge of extinction. Get well Steve and crack the whip on those new macbooks.
Comments
Jobs are dead in America- ask any economist, just don't ask George W. Bush.
and it's only foreshadowing for the death of Steve Jobs thats coming quicker and quicker
Only a matter of time till Jobs is dead
It's only a matter of time until everything is dead.
It's only a matter of time until everything is dead.
Not my love for Apple- that springs eternal.
Not my love for Apple- that springs eternal.
nah cause you have to die too. i doubt your children or anyone would try to carry on a torch for you that would be a metaphor for your love of Apple.
Depak Chopra is ecstatic about the progress his high profile student is making on the cusp of his company introducing a new Mystery Product!
"The amount of Steve's discharge would have been remarkable for the men half his age", said the Guru to the stars!
The Concerned Investors, speculators, and whomever, are back, buying AAPL STOCK http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=AAPL, hugging their children, and trying to locate a store that might have an iPhone in stock!
"The whole thing was nuts", said said Obama, while in Iraq, and McCain called for insider training investigation, but Ken Starr sited previous commitment -- reportedly he is working on his book, supposedly titled Monica...
Meanwhile, Jobs and Bill Gates people are talking about about a Reality TV show based on the Tech Titans love of table tennis. As a that sports fan, I can relate, and so can the Chinese Cell Providers, who are about to launch the highly coveted iPhone in China! So who needs Forrest Gump!?!
The Associated Press is reporting that The Street is looking for Jobs to ejaculate 12-15 times this week alone, but the unnamed sources claim that Apple's CEO is poised to beat it, and by a substantial margin! So who needs Michael Jackson!?!
Based on the above tidbits, it's safe to conclude that Steve Jobs is likely not dead, and that the black turtleneck fans of his should go on about their own business!
And now this attempted humor article's author is going back to his life, while the Options Traders are conspiring their next Sky Is Falling play!, to be analyzed to death, and re-chewed multiple times at sites like http://www.appleinvestornews.com/page-one.html
Thanks for your time
I found this site, geezzz.
Maybe Steve ingested one to many Apples,.... he do love it to the core.
You know, as much as I respect Steve's (and Apple's) privacy, I can't get my arms around why it would be such a freakin big deal for him to just come out and say something short and sweet as to why he looks as thin as he does. This is a public company, after all.
Something like this?
Jobs are dead in America- ask any economist, just don't ask George W. Bush.
This is hallowed ground. Do not drag politics into this place. You have been warned.
Wasn't it a dude saying "Leave Brittany Alone"? I never even saw it but for small clips but I thought it was a guy...
There are parodies of it done by guys and girls.
This is hallowed ground. Do not drag politics into this place. You have been warned.
Go Warn Yourself- with your environmental politics :
"Lots of people are worried about the Environment. My job is to keep them busy."
--me
WTF is that?
It was a young lady who started it (man, I wish I could that image out of my mind) and then it was imitated by several comedians.
No, it was a gay kid.
and it's only foreshadowing for the death of Steve Jobs thats coming quicker and quicker
Aren't they missing you over at the morgue?
The day after Steve Jobs leaves Apple would be the end of an era in computing history, stock holders, media, internauts, etc.. will be faced with the dilema of "growing up" and start doing something for themselves other that push people to their graves.. Steve Jobs will become a legend.. a god.. hopefully the new generation to come will have the courage to embark in new proyects, in new ideas, think for yourself, socrates said.. when I think of the return of jobs to apple as "gift" from the electronic gods or something, 10 years later he´s still here and still working his ass off for all of you to write bullshit about it, 99.99% idiots, that´s the percentage that more or less i think there are on this planet, with only 0.01% a little less idiotic, that´s all..
nobody wants steve gone, and for those who do:
99.99% you fucking idiots!!!
I propose this as the official AppleInsider raving lunatic rant of the week...!
Jobs are dead in America- ask any economist, just don't ask George W. Bush.
In Soviet Russia, the Job work in YOU.
So all the noise about his health did force a Mole (confidential source) close to Jobs (How Close Is Mole?) to leak information to the NYT. Just Imagine the Mole receiving instructions to share with an east coast big city daily newspaper. Confidential source (Mole) now has NYTs protection from disclosure. SEC can't talk to or find mole.
Jobs health talk goes away: until next outing, that is. Jobs says nuthin, BoD says nuthin. Any legal obligation to report material information by Apple et. al. goes away for another day.
Ain't That Sumthin.
Jus Thinkun Out Loud: Don't Mean Nuthin
Now Be Nice Y'all
Wasn't it a dude saying "Leave Brittany Alone"? I never even saw it but for small clips but I thought it was a guy...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2U4hyT0gIM
Leave Steve Jobs Alone!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2U4hyT0gIM
Leave Steve Jobs Alone!
She is hot!
No, it was a gay kid.
That Crooker kid was pretty ambiguous. I could have sworn it was a chick.
That Crooker kid was pretty ambiguous. I could have sworn it was a chick.
I believe you mean adrogynous.
OMG-I can't believe I'm correcting someone's vocabulary- I've become everything I loathe!