Sexual Insecurity...

24

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  • Reply 21 of 63
    kickahakickaha Posts: 8,760member
    Oh, but not the boxer-tights, because apparently those are *ubergay*...



    So, so silly.
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  • Reply 22 of 63
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Dogcow

    Ok, which male cast member from this season's real world is the best looking and why?





    Man, that's a hard one. They both look so generic to me (not clearly different) and I think they're both pretty ugly.



    But here is my opinion on other actors if I were attracted to males:



    Hot: Tom Cruise, Keanu Reaves, Johnny Depp, Jet Li, The Merovingian from Matrix, Harrison Ford,



    Not Hot: Orlando bloom (I really don't understand why girls think he's hot), Matt Damon, Ben Afflek, Josh hartnett, Leo di caprio







    Hmmm.... as I'm generating this list I'm having my doubts...Maybe I'm just categorising them as hot or not based on how much I like them in the movies and not really based just on appearance...
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  • Reply 23 of 63
    splinemodelsplinemodel Posts: 7,311member
    I'm going to have to say that it's not what you do (for the most part), but how you do it that makes you appear to be gay. I wear briefs, speedos, and even short shorts. (well, shorter than most these days, but still longer than the rugby shorts) Big deal. No one thinks I'm gay.



    Rather than being so affected by it when your friend tells you not to wear briefs, just shrug it off. Unless you're a lisping chatterbox who always hangs around girls, I don't think you have anything to worry about at the end of the day.
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  • Reply 24 of 63
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Kickaha

    Oh, but not the boxer-tights, because apparently those are *ubergay*...



    So, so silly.




    you mean übergay? haha





    What are boxer tights, they're different from 'tighty whities'?



    I'm kinda curious as to why boxers are the undergarment of choce in the US because I find them uncomfortable and hard to move in because of the leg extensions. They are also kinda hot in the summer.



    I find the 'tighty whities' much easier to move in and less noticeable as you don't it's like a burden.
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  • Reply 25 of 63
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Splinemodel

    I'm going to have to say that it's not what you do (for the most part), but how you do it that makes you appear to be gay. I wear briefs, speedos, and even short shorts. (well, shorter than most these days, but still longer than the rugby shorts) Big deal. No one thinks I'm gay.



    Rather than being so affected by it when your friend tells you not to wear briefs, just shrug it off. Unless you're a lisping chatterbox who always hangs around girls, I don't think you have anything to worry about at the end of the day.






    Well I'm not worried per se, but I'm thinking I should consider this since I'm new to the US and I certainly want to fit in a bit more
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  • Reply 26 of 63
    kickahakickaha Posts: 8,760member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stevegongrui

    you mean übergay? haha





    What are boxer tights, they're different from 'tighty whities'?




    Try here.



    And for the record, they're my favorite, I don't care if y'all think they're gay or not. *snap*
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  • Reply 27 of 63
    splinemodelsplinemodel Posts: 7,311member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stevegongrui

    Well I'm not worried per se, but I'm thinking I should consider this since I'm new to the US and I certainly want to fit in a bit more



    Perhaps the root of it is a cantonese voice inflection, if you have one. There are American gays that intentionally, and unaturally, speak with the same inflection for reasons I can't fathom. In that case, just accept that you have it and move on. If you worry about fitting in and not being gay, for some reason it always will backfire. Honestly, just forget about it, and you'll be much happier.
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  • Reply 28 of 63
    thuh freakthuh freak Posts: 2,664member
    i noticed this oddity of male behavior in hs. well, we called eachother gay in gradeschool, but i had an epiphany in hs. a guy called another "gay", and another guy said, "that's so terrible. that dood up there [whom was just referred to as 'gay' in a deragatory manner] is actally gay and is probably all upset or confused about us calling him that." i thought it was kind of funny. so for the rest of my years in hs, i made a point of trying to flop the gay reference. tho not a homosexual myself, i often referred to things i did as gay. got others to follow along too. came to be that if you wanted to be cool, like me [who was and is irrefutably cool], u had to be "gay". whenever people would use gay as a mean thing, i'd say, "oh, like me?" and they'd go, "o. not that gay. i mean [not cool, stupid, or whatever]." there were different people who'd take or not take to that form of the term.



    the reason its so scary to some people, i can only suppose, is because they fear gaity, and anything that comes with it. probably a fear of what others like them would do if they turned out to be gay. calling me gay (as in referring to my sexuality) doesn't bother me, cuz i know what i am, and words aint gonna change that. if a chick says it, on the other hand, it bugs me a bit, cuz thats one i have to work on harder to get into bed with.
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  • Reply 29 of 63
    dogcowdogcow Posts: 713member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Kickaha

    Oh, but not the boxer-tights, because apparently those are *ubergay*...



    So, so silly.




    You mean boxer-briefs?



    weird, these are usually not considered gay, at least from what i've observed.
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  • Reply 30 of 63
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Splinemodel

    Perhaps the root of it is a cantonese voice inflection, if you have one. There are American gays that intentionally, and unaturally, speak with the same inflection for reasons I can't fathom. In that case, just accept that you have it and move on. If you worry about fitting in and not being gay, for some reason it always will backfire. Honestly, just forget about it, and you'll be much happier.



    What's the cantonese voice inflexion? I'm not sure I understand. Are you asking if I have an accent? I have a bit of a british accent but it's dying away ever since I came to the US.
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  • Reply 31 of 63
    LOL!!! THE MANTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!





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  • Reply 32 of 63
    kickahakickaha Posts: 8,760member
    Ooooh, that's even worse. There are two kinds of British accents, in general American perception: Gay, and sexy to women. The former gets you called gay because they think you're adopting an affectation popular in the gay community, and the latter gets you called gay because it's the best way to ensure you don't snag their wimmin.
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  • Reply 33 of 63
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Kickaha

    Ooooh, that's even worse. There are two kinds of British accents, in general American perception: Gay, and sexy to women. The former gets you called gay because they think you're adopting an affectation popular in the gay community, and the latter gets you called gay because it's the best way to ensure you don't snag their wimmin.



    Ok, I lied. I never use my british accent unless I'm in the mood or usually with girls.



    I went to an English middle school but an american high school.



    so I don't have any accents
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  • Reply 34 of 63
    kickahakickaha Posts: 8,760member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stevegongrui

    Ok, I lied. I never use my british accent unless I'm in the mood



    Affectation, note...



    Quote:

    or usually with girls.



    Wimmin thief!



    Face it man, you're just screwed.
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  • Reply 35 of 63
    Looks like our mates in England are also sexually insecure:





    http://www.people.virginia.edu/~rg8s...20reporter.avi



    Note: alt click it and save. It won't play correctly in the browser.





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  • Reply 36 of 63
    steve, you make me hate europeans.
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  • Reply 37 of 63
    Quote:

    Originally posted by DoTheEvolution

    steve, you make me hate europeans.



    ?

    oh, I hope it hasn't offended anyone. He's Ali-G, a very famous comedian in Britain. He's just for laughs.
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  • Reply 38 of 63
    nebulousnebulous Posts: 193member
    I think the sexual security issue varies with location, and it definitely varies with environment. For example:

    My college town: homophobic.

    My college campus: comfy.

    All of my friends here are guys, and they relate comfortably with each other, even sleeping in the same bed if they have to. Heck, four of us shared an extremely tiny bed the other night - 2 straight guys, one gay guy, and me, a woman. We were all comfortable lying all over each other, and not one of us was concerned about the sexuality issue. We were just watching a movie, after all.

    The whole macho/manliness thing boggles my mind. Men who are so insecure with their sexuality that they have to walk around calling things "gay", or insulting people by calling them "fags" just are not appealing to me. Honestly, I won't find a guy attractive unless they are comfortable in their own sexuality, and accepting of the choices of others.

    The "faggot" issue is also important to me. This is a demeaning, awful, nasty word, and I believe it is an act of violence to use it against someone else. Some of my friends still say it - "dude, he is such a FAG!" - but I strongly encourage them not to, or I hit them. Whatever teaches them fastest.
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  • Reply 39 of 63
    moogsmoogs Posts: 4,296member
    I think some of the original concerns are cultural issues. The whole deal about touching people on the arm and such has a lot to do with which country you are in and which part of the body (obvious ones excluded) you are touching.



    For example, there are societies where it is considered rude to pat people on the shoulders or head (say the way you might if you were just joking around with or razzing your guy friends).



    There are also unspoken rules about personal space. For example, some societies place an emphasis of really get up close to someone when you're talking to them. To the point that an American would find it extremely uncomfortable, etc.



    It is my opinion that in this country, generally only women are able to get away with spontaneously holding on to a person's arm (man or woman) during social situations. I don't know why that is, but it is. Like Shetline, I would be uneasy if any male were talking with me amongst friends and then suddenly placed his hand on my arm and held on for a few seconds the way women do when they really want your attention sometimes.



    I don't know that the act is "effeminate" per se, and I don't consider the act itself to be a sign of gayness, but rather just something that makes me uneasy. I'm not used to anyone other than maybe my girlfriend (or maybe female relatives) doing that in social situations, and even then it's rare.



    Also, has anyone else noticed that there is a new common use for the word "gay" that doesn't imply homosexuality, but is still an insult? A lot of times I see it spelled "ghey". As in "Pierce Brosnan's haircut is ghey." Meaning, they don't think Pierce likes to date men, but rather his hair looks cheezy.



    Or "PeeCEEs are ghey": translates to "only a retard would use Windows if they didn't have to".



    So I suspect that not every high school or college aged kid who uses that term today is inferring they don't like homosexuals when they call someone or something "ghey". Anyone else notice this?
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  • Reply 40 of 63
    stroszekstroszek Posts: 801member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Nebulous

    The "faggot" issue is also important to me. This is a demeaning, awful, nasty word, and I believe it is an act of violence to use it against someone else. Some of my friends still say it - "dude, he is such a FAG!" - but I strongly encourage them not to, or I hit them. Whatever teaches them fastest.



    I agree. I also think that when people call any and everything that they don't like "gay" is also extremely offensive.



    But then again, I'm so gay, and have been told before on this board that I am over sensitive, and to get over it
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