is it illegal to send human shit thru the mail?

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited January 2014
i want to send someone a present
«13

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 43
    flounderflounder Posts: 2,674member
    I can't say i know for sure, but I would have imagine it yes. You would not only be putting the person you're sending it to at risk, but you'd be exposing who knows how many postal workers or other people to your bacteria laden shit if it got out of its packaging.



    I would strongly advise against it. In fact, I'd go as far as to say don't be a dumb shit!
  • Reply 2 of 43
    SpamSandwichSpamSandwich Posts: 31,183member
    Well said.
  • Reply 3 of 43
    mydomydo Posts: 1,888member
    Think of the children.
  • Reply 4 of 43
    hardeeharharhardeeharhar Posts: 4,841member
    Sure as long as no body finds out about it...
  • Reply 5 of 43
    bergermeisterbergermeister Posts: 6,784member
    Ditto Flouder's response, but I will add:



    If this is the kind of present you are considering sending, you might also consider counseling.
  • Reply 6 of 43
    splinemodelsplinemodel Posts: 7,311member
    I actually "laughed out loud" when I read the title of this thread. My advice: use an envelope with a very good seal (to "seal in the goodness"), and don't include a return address.
  • Reply 7 of 43
    SpamSandwichSpamSandwich Posts: 31,183member
    I'd advise taking a class in personal networking or expressing yourself instead of becoming a budding unibomber. YOU...NEED...TO...GET...OUT...OF...THE...HOUSE.
  • Reply 8 of 43
    MarvinMarvin Posts: 14,222moderator
    You should be more creative. Make one of those cards where if you open it, it squirts something in your face but fill it with pee and then have a picture of a guy inside with a pop-up.



    Yeah, I shouldn't encourage you but what the hell, some people deserve it.
  • Reply 9 of 43
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by burningwheel View Post


    i want to send someone a present



    Aw, come on. The Zune isn't that bad is it?
  • Reply 10 of 43
    thuh freakthuh freak Posts: 2,664member
    If its not a crime, it certainly should be. Don't put all the mailmen and femailmen through that shit.



    Put your shit in a brown baggie, light it, and run away after hitting the doorbell, like the rest of us.
  • Reply 11 of 43
    sdw2001sdw2001 Posts: 17,037member




    I cannot BELIEVE this thread! Kudos!



    In all seriousness, I think it is completely illegal. And I think you will be caught. Oh, and I think you'll get nailed with some kind of federal rap too...seriously. "Using US Postal Service for Bioterrorism." No worries though, I will come visit you in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
  • Reply 12 of 43
    burningwheelburningwheel Posts: 1,827member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SDW2001 View Post






    I cannot BELIEVE this thread! Kudos!



    In all seriousness, I think it is completely illegal. And I think you will be caught. Oh, and I think you'll get nailed with some kind of federal rap too...seriously. "Using US Postal Service for Bioterrorism." No worries though, I will come visit you in federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.







    i don't even have this person's address. i would probably chicken out anyways. if i were to do it, i'd use dog shit (i don't want my dna involved), no return address (obvously).



    well i guess Sharon Osborne does this. she has her kids shit in a box and sends it to media people who deserve it



    i'm just going to stick to email him a nasty note, i can't waste much more time than that on this scum
  • Reply 13 of 43
    outsideroutsider Posts: 6,008member
    There's an interesting story here. Spill it.
  • Reply 14 of 43
    A friend of mine had a problem with some freak sending her plastic bags full of semen. Off topic.
  • Reply 15 of 43
    thuh freakthuh freak Posts: 2,664member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by southside grabowski View Post


    A friend of mine had a problem with some freak sending her plastic bags full of semen. Off topic.



    Those were gifts. \
  • Reply 16 of 43
    audiopollutionaudiopollution Posts: 3,226member
    Do Not Lick The Envelope!
  • Reply 17 of 43
    sdw2001sdw2001 Posts: 17,037member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Outsider View Post


    There's an interesting story here. Spill it.





    Agreed. I want to hear this story.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by burningwheel View Post






    i don't even have this person's address. i would probably chicken out anyways. if i were to do it, i'd use dog shit (i don't want my dna involved), no return address (obvously).



    well i guess Sharon Osborne does this. she has her kids shit in a box and sends it to media people who deserve it



    i'm just going to stick to email him a nasty note, i can't waste much more time than that on this scum



    You can do better. One thing I always wanted to do is blow up someone's mailbox, tape it, and send them the tape in their new mailbox.
  • Reply 18 of 43
    jubelumjubelum Posts: 4,490member
    Most insane thread in a long time.



    Quote:

    What The Hell Is In The Mail?



    I often get crap in the mail. But when I say that, I am usually referring to bogus credit offers and useless get rich schemes. What I was unaware of was the fact that you can really send crap through the United States Postal Service!

    James Greg (His name has been changed to protect his anus) has a condition which makes monitoring his stools a necessity. At his doctor’s behest, he carefully and lovingly wrapped his sample in a pouch, which he then placed into a specially marked packet and popped in the outgoing mail slot for a “correspondence technician” to pick up. (You can’t say Mailman anymore – that’s not PC – but I digress)



    This was not a hermetically sealed container – Oh, no. Think of an overnight envelope, only smaller. Suddenly, Fed Ex sounds more like "Freaking Disgusting"! Imagine the commercial for that service - pan to a young man, trying to beat the 8 am delivery deadline as he rushes up the stairs of an 80-floor skyscraper (he hits every stair up to the 79th floor and then collapses, with crap all over his face. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'What can brown do for you today,' doesn’t it?) then the kicker, the logo that the jingle performers wail with gusto..

    'We Take Your Sh*it!'



    There aren’t enough stamps in the world to convince me to touch that feces-ridden biohazard.

    Now, according to "The Law" sending feces through the mail is legal if it’s for medical or veterinarian purposes. Sending postal poo to your ex because he cheated on you with his secretary who looks suspiciously like a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader will get ya sent to the slammer. What happens if you send a dog-bomb through the mail? The law says you can send FiFi Feces to the vet, right? So what if the package gets accidentally mislabeled and, instead, goes to your witch-face mother-in-law in Dubuque? Have any doubt that’d get you banned from family outings for the life-span of your marriage?



    So, some poopholes, I mean, LOOP holes are meant to be exploited. What’s next, Urine-Grams?



  • Reply 19 of 43
    mydomydo Posts: 1,888member
    Revenge is a dish best served cold.
  • Reply 20 of 43
    outsideroutsider Posts: 6,008member
    So... You're saying revenge is best served with a canister of liquid nitrogen thrown into someone's face? That is... harsh.
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