In many relationships, familiarity seems to breed contempt. People should live together without being married for as long as possible. If their relationship is still holds up after such a time, only then should marriage (and children) be contemplated.
In general I agree. But there is such a thing as waiting too long.
I lived with my girlfriend for 7 years and we got married and it lasted for 1&1/2 years. Because when we got married it was a "What the hell, might as well" thing. No spark. I wonder had we not gotten married what might have happened. I think the expectations that things will be so radically different are what kills it.
However I am far from bitter about it. I actually shudder to think of still being in that relationship, as I've changed so much and experienced things I would never have had I followed that path.
My gut says about 2-4 years of living together is about right before getting married.
The concept that people dated, got engaged, got married, had first sex on honeymoon and then moved in together is so utterly abstract and alien to me that I cannot fathom it. I am however, still glad my new fiancé was a virgin when we, um, first dated, despite my ample experience.
If some guy acted "devoted" to me, I would feel nauseated.
Okay, look. This whole thing isn't that complicated really. I think the same traits anyone would want in a best friend are the traits most people would want in a partner.
You want someone you can trust, who's fun to be with, who's easy to talk to, who's comfortable to be with, who likes the same things you like. Someone whose intellect and goals in life you respect.
If the above are all in place, THEN physical requirements come next. What I described on page one of the thread is what I find physically attractive. And guess what? My ex-husband fit all those physical traits EXACTLY!!!!! Except that his eyes were not 'sparkling' blue, but ICE blue (quite prophetic, really).
So, with him all the physical *appearance* was there, but not the emotional/personal component. I think you have to have both.
Edit: he was, in fact, one of the best-looking guys I have ever seen in my life. A complete and total "hunk" of the first order. He was also brilliant - a research and development engineer. Sigh.
AND...if you give a woman great sex, she will be all over you. She won't be able to keep her hands off you. Shoes will be absolutely the LAST thing on her mind. Well...that's MY opinion anyway. heh.
So, with him all the physical *appearance* was there, but not the emotional/personal component. I think you have to have both
Ain't that the truth. The women i've dated that looked really good had NOTHING upstairs. It got to the point where I just wanted "food sex and silence"
Now I'd be happy with a nice blend. Give me a women easy enough on the eyes to live with but with some brainpower too please.
As always though I don't think you can take a statement like "What do women/men want" and make any sense. What they want depends on where they see themelves.
Women love trust, honesty, humor(can't forget that) etc but it doesn't mean they want it with ALL their dates. Some people just want to keep dating light hearted and have some fun. You got the rest of your life for the serious stuff.
AND...if you give a woman great sex, she will be all over you. She won't be able to keep her hands off you. Shoes will be absolutely the LAST thing on her mind. Well...that's MY opinion anyway. heh. [/B]
Could you possibly give an example, because it sounds rather sinister at first glance.
generally speaking, (and let me be clear this is generalizing a generalization) is that women have tendency to be more flighty about their goals than men, a bit more emotional---to "marry" their jobs, that sort thing. I think tunneling is "their" greatest "sin".
Leading a woman to consistently pursue her goals is basically what I mean.
Another thought for you young bucks out there who "can't figure women out."
Go buy Paula Cole's This Fire. ....especially Tiger, Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?, Throwing Stones, and Feelin Love are all good insights into "women"---again, a generalization of a generalization.
Throwing Stones
-Paula Cole
So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
There you go again you cut me off from talking
You bask in the glory
The center of the circle
All the friends think you are a comedian
So kind and generous
but i am suffering
Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little, every little thing
Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
You're the puppeteer and i'm the puppet
You manipulate me with your real catholic shit
Everytime i try to talk it through
You turn it around and make us out to be
like David and Goliath
Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little every little thing
Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
Your arms beneath me
Your lying inside me
I used to love your every little every little thing
Your eyes blue stars
Your hand in my purse
And now I hate your every little everything all day
Funny thing though... despite women saying they want "love, respect and honesty" most tend to go for guys who give them none of those. Just an observation...
A few things. First of all, if a woman (or anyone) wants respect, she needs to become the kind of person and live the kind of life that is *worthy* of respect. She needs to be a person fully engaged in the world, with interests beyond herself.
In my opinion, she needs to be able to exist on her own, and not HAVE to be 'dependent' on some guy to do stuff for her. She should be able to be a fully-functional member of society in her own right. I could not have a woman as a friend unless she happened to be this kind of person, because I could not like or respect her.
Women who have minimal respect for themselves will put up with guys treating them abusively. A woman who likes and respects *herself* won't put up with abusive treatment from some guy. Not in a million years. Ain't gonna happen. No way, Jose! I encountered two guys like that. The first lasted one date. The second was a fighter pilot who lasted a little longer, mostly because I was curious to see what he would do and say next.
women cumming? i've only been with one women who "came" i think it's a rare thing. granted i haven't been with many women
From what I understand, most women "need a hand" in that department. The "g-spot" for a woman moves around a bit---depending on the level of sexual excitement....
..wait a minute....as a Christian----can I say "sexual excitement"?
....usually from up near the clitoris and then progressing down towards the the "vaginal opening" itself---depending on the level of arousal. What it means is that for a significant portion of women, some say 2/3rds or more, that you could "stay in the saddle" for an hour and still not get her where she needs to be.
This is AGAIN a generalization of a generalization.
If M$ ever made a love robot, I imagine that paperclip dude would pop-up and say, "I see you are making sweet love. May I assist you in targetting errogenous zones?" [wink-wink]
Isn't giant the one who said he is REALLY good at sex? That he has four girls lusting after him because he is so proficient at getting them to come...to the point where they can hardly move from being so sexually sated after he is finished working his magic on them?
Comments
Originally posted by Carol A
In many relationships, familiarity seems to breed contempt. People should live together without being married for as long as possible. If their relationship is still holds up after such a time, only then should marriage (and children) be contemplated.
In general I agree. But there is such a thing as waiting too long.
I lived with my girlfriend for 7 years and we got married and it lasted for 1&1/2 years. Because when we got married it was a "What the hell, might as well" thing. No spark. I wonder had we not gotten married what might have happened. I think the expectations that things will be so radically different are what kills it.
However I am far from bitter about it. I actually shudder to think of still being in that relationship, as I've changed so much and experienced things I would never have had I followed that path.
My gut says about 2-4 years of living together is about right before getting married.
The concept that people dated, got engaged, got married, had first sex on honeymoon and then moved in together is so utterly abstract and alien to me that I cannot fathom it. I am however, still glad my new fiancé was a virgin when we, um, first dated, despite my ample experience.
I want my cake and eat it, too.
Yuck!
If some guy acted "devoted" to me, I would feel nauseated.
Okay, look. This whole thing isn't that complicated really. I think the same traits anyone would want in a best friend are the traits most people would want in a partner.
You want someone you can trust, who's fun to be with, who's easy to talk to, who's comfortable to be with, who likes the same things you like. Someone whose intellect and goals in life you respect.
If the above are all in place, THEN physical requirements come next. What I described on page one of the thread is what I find physically attractive. And guess what? My ex-husband fit all those physical traits EXACTLY!!!!! Except that his eyes were not 'sparkling' blue, but ICE blue (quite prophetic, really).
So, with him all the physical *appearance* was there, but not the emotional/personal component. I think you have to have both.
Edit: he was, in fact, one of the best-looking guys I have ever seen in my life. A complete and total "hunk" of the first order. He was also brilliant - a research and development engineer. Sigh.
AND...if you give a woman great sex, she will be all over you. She won't be able to keep her hands off you. Shoes will be absolutely the LAST thing on her mind.
So, with him all the physical *appearance* was there, but not the emotional/personal component. I think you have to have both
Ain't that the truth. The women i've dated that looked really good had NOTHING upstairs. It got to the point where I just wanted "food sex and silence"
Now I'd be happy with a nice blend. Give me a women easy enough on the eyes to live with but with some brainpower too please.
As always though I don't think you can take a statement like "What do women/men want" and make any sense. What they want depends on where they see themelves.
Women love trust, honesty, humor(can't forget that) etc but it doesn't mean they want it with ALL their dates. Some people just want to keep dating light hearted and have some fun. You got the rest of your life for the serious stuff.
Originally posted by Hassan i Sabbah
Speaking as someone recently singled, I can speak with some authority that women really want is herpes.
AND...if you give a woman great sex, she will be all over you. She won't be able to keep her hands off you. Shoes will be absolutely the LAST thing on her mind.
perhaps but women always want shoes anyways
Originally posted by Carol A
What do you actually mean by this?
Could you possibly give an example, because it sounds rather sinister at first glance.
generally speaking, (and let me be clear this is generalizing a generalization) is that women have tendency to be more flighty about their goals than men, a bit more emotional---to "marry" their jobs, that sort thing. I think tunneling is "their" greatest "sin".
Leading a woman to consistently pursue her goals is basically what I mean.
Originally posted by Randycat99
So this topic is leading to a vital connection- does a woman cum more easily if she is wearing her favorite pair of shoes?
Hmm... I normally take my shoes off before...
Originally posted by johnq
What women really want are G5 PowerBooks.
That's at least what I really want...
Go buy Paula Cole's This Fire. ....especially Tiger, Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?, Throwing Stones, and Feelin Love are all good insights into "women"---again, a generalization of a generalization.
Throwing Stones
-Paula Cole
So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
There you go again you cut me off from talking
You bask in the glory
The center of the circle
All the friends think you are a comedian
So kind and generous
but i am suffering
Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little, every little thing
Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
You're the puppeteer and i'm the puppet
You manipulate me with your real catholic shit
Everytime i try to talk it through
You turn it around and make us out to be
like David and Goliath
Away from here
I wanna be
Away from here
Away from here
Away from every little thing
Every little thing
I used to love your every little every little thing
Now you call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
Your arms beneath me
Your lying inside me
I used to love your every little every little thing
Your eyes blue stars
Your hand in my purse
And now I hate your every little everything all day
Oh momma
I didn't know life was this hard
Oh momma
My innocence has been tarred
My inner vision, dulled and darkened
I keep myself away to you
I fu<k my sorrow humblely
And throw my crown upon the ground
It's you I hope for
And us I pray for
And me that I believed was wrong
But now my anger is my best friend
Be careful may bite your head off
Liar
So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll you a liar
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
So call me a bitch in heat and
I'll call you a motherfuker
And we'll throw stones until we're dead
Originally posted by Giaguara
Hmm... I normally take my shoes off before...
Originally posted by FaydRautha
Funny thing though... despite women saying they want "love, respect and honesty" most tend to go for guys who give them none of those. Just an observation...
A few things. First of all, if a woman (or anyone) wants respect, she needs to become the kind of person and live the kind of life that is *worthy* of respect. She needs to be a person fully engaged in the world, with interests beyond herself.
In my opinion, she needs to be able to exist on her own, and not HAVE to be 'dependent' on some guy to do stuff for her. She should be able to be a fully-functional member of society in her own right. I could not have a woman as a friend unless she happened to be this kind of person, because I could not like or respect her.
Women who have minimal respect for themselves will put up with guys treating them abusively. A woman who likes and respects *herself* won't put up with abusive treatment from some guy. Not in a million years. Ain't gonna happen. No way, Jose! I encountered two guys like that. The first lasted one date. The second was a fighter pilot who lasted a little longer, mostly because I was curious to see what he would do and say next.
Originally posted by burningwheel
women cumming? i've only been with one women who "came" i think it's a rare thing. granted i haven't been with many women
From what I understand, most women "need a hand" in that department. The "g-spot" for a woman moves around a bit---depending on the level of sexual excitement....
..wait a minute....as a Christian----can I say "sexual excitement"?
....usually from up near the clitoris and then progressing down towards the the "vaginal opening" itself---depending on the level of arousal. What it means is that for a significant portion of women, some say 2/3rds or more, that you could "stay in the saddle" for an hour and still not get her where she needs to be.
This is AGAIN a generalization of a generalization.
Heh, wouldn't that be neat if you could just wear thermal goggles to see the hot spots to guide you along?
Originally posted by Randycat99
The G-spot moves?!
Heh, wouldn't that be neat if you could just wear thermal goggles to see the hot spots to guide you along?
Tricorder.
giant, I think you should offer a seminar here.
EDIT:
(Think *T*O*N*G*U*E* first.)
Originally posted by burningwheel
women cumming? i've only been with one women who "came" i think it's a rare thing. granted i haven't been with many women
You, my friend, need to start being a little considerate. You might also try practicing in order to get that old endurance stuff happening.
I would never have sex without satisfying my partner . . . it wouldn't be satisfying