The line of people with $400 PCs and no clue, lining up at the Guru will be miles long ... .
And not to mention the myriad of hardware to have to deal with. I would imagine that'll be a tough and thankless job. I wonder what customer satisfaction will be like? I've always had a good experience when I've visited an Apple genius.
It's going to be fun watching the various hardware vendors whining how its competitors are treated better. This has the potential to get really ugly for MS.
Imagine MS asking each vendor to provide one laptop or desktop candidate to be considered for display. Each vendor will submit their best system, which will cost as much as a Mac. Either that or MS will have to display the $400 PC garbage and try to explain to customers why they are getting problems those system. My advice to MS is to use MacBook Pros and iMac with Windows running using Boot Camp
I can't wait for Apple commercial where PC is dressed like Mac
There will be so many caveats as to what they will answer questions about that it will be alienating to the public. (certain models, certain OS versions, items bought there, etc.)
This will drive customers into the nearby Apple store.
But I am looking forward to meeting the enthusiastic staff.
Yes, I can see the future. Here it is; PC Gurus spending their time showing the new users switching from Apple to PC, how to avoid spyware and viruses.
What the hell is PC experience anyway? Experience what? Whose computers will they showcase? Deadly Dell, Ugly HP or Expensive Sony?
And may be they can order computers. From who? May be from more than hundred PC assemblers out there. Yea right! These guys are a joke.
When will Ballmer admit that he is not tech guy? Here is another way for Microsoft investors to see their stock go down. Sell now and leave your misery behind, a perfect advice to Microsoft investors.
What we witnessed today in the stock market with Microsoft stock is a trend that will never cease.
I can't wait to see the line on the opening day of the first store, for the new PC Experience!
Retail tech support? Wow what a concept. Except the MS Stores will have to fight off angry crowds.
I think the "Guru Bar" concept needs some razor wire, machine guns and attack dogs. Maybe a few no-neck Russian Mafia types lurking around or crowd "control". (In Bulgaria they call them mutra.)
My vision is of the New York City car towing place on the West Side, where you go to get your towed car. Everyone calmly lines up at the "teller" window to pay their fines and bail out their cars. But literally, EVERY person that goes up to the window suddenly yells at the poor bastard behind the bulletproof glass (it IS NYC!), launching into the vilest, funniest string of expletives and rancor you could ever imagine. If you weren't so goddam pissed off standing in line, you'd be laughing your head off, instead of waiting your turn to spew venom!
I'd say that'll be the "Guru Bar".
Jeff, your vision is so perfect, so spot-on it had me literally splitting myself laughing. I have been to the West Side towing yards, and it is a sign that you are having the worst day of your life. (Like having to talk to a 'guru' about windows). Thank you for your razor sharp insight into this dull and inane Tomfoolery that is Microsoft Retail. There's benchmarking your competitor and then there's just ripping someone off. Do these MS execs feel at all bad that they wasted their parents' money on college? Did they study for their tests or just copy off the guy next to them to "get by." What a joke and an embarrassment to American innovation.
It's a crying shame that it's come to this, but MS's lack of forward thinking is exactly what's turned me to Apple. I see no reason at all to go back. Personally I cant wait to load Snow Leopard, but I'll probably trade up to a new Macbook Pro at the same time.
Sell your stock in MS - they're quickly becoming a dinosaur...
this is simple. the guru bar will explain that the solution to any problem is to buy a copy of windows 7.
your hard drive failed? a new hard drive [with windows 7 preinstalled] will fix that. video card issues? you need a new video card compatable with win7, and we can upgrade you to win7 with that. start key broken? upgrade to windows 7 and get a keyboard 20% off.
An Apple customer usually approaches a genius bar for trivial things, the occasional failure, transferring data from an old Mac or (PC) to new Mac, and general questions. Usually can be resolved right then and there by an enthusiastic and competent staff that genuinely love what they do and believe in the products Apple sells.
The "Guru" bar on the other hand will be staffed by clueless wannabe hackers working at minimum wage with zero customer service skills and be expected to fend of the herds of angry, frustrated PC users with machines infested and corrupted with viruses, malware, trojans, corrupted registries, driver conflicts, and all other kinds of nasty instabilities. And they will be expected to resolve those problems while the customer waits.
What Microsoft would like for you to believe is that they will be there for you in the long haul to help with your problem. The reality is that MS will (again) realize they went way over their head, and the Guru bar will be shut down due to high costs and few results. I work on the side resolving PC / Windows problems (I'm a systems engineer) for frustrated friends and users that just could not get the kind help they needed. Even with my experience, there is no way whatsoever anyone could pay me enough to work behind that desk. Poor workers will be going into the lion's den every day. The turnover rate will be high, morale will be low and in the end, it will become more a liability and will result in really bad PR. Microsoft will silently close the stores and when questioned, will be referred to as an "Experiment".
All those hundreds of millions of dollars MS spends on advertising and this is the best they could come up with? Put the entire Apple store into a huge Xerox machine and press "Copy"??
Where will they find any gurus? If you are an expert in Microsoft stuff, you certainly are not a guru in computing, more an aguru - one who is unenlightened. Here's an original thought for Microsoft, why don't you set up Yogi Bars? Mmmm, perhaps that would be a boo boo too!
Comments
The line of people with $400 PCs and no clue, lining up at the Guru will be miles long ... .
And not to mention the myriad of hardware to have to deal with. I would imagine that'll be a tough and thankless job. I wonder what customer satisfaction will be like? I've always had a good experience when I've visited an Apple genius.
All that alleged R&D . . . where is all the money going??
It's going to be fun watching the various hardware vendors whining how its competitors are treated better. This has the potential to get really ugly for MS.
Imagine MS asking each vendor to provide one laptop or desktop candidate to be considered for display. Each vendor will submit their best system, which will cost as much as a Mac. Either that or MS will have to display the $400 PC garbage and try to explain to customers why they are getting problems those system. My advice to MS is to use MacBook Pros and iMac with Windows running using Boot Camp
I can't wait for Apple commercial where PC is dressed like Mac
There will be so many caveats as to what they will answer questions about that it will be alienating to the public. (certain models, certain OS versions, items bought there, etc.)
This will drive customers into the nearby Apple store.
But I am looking forward to meeting the enthusiastic staff.
How do you monetize these stores ?
What are you going to actually sell?
Apple stores have the largest sales dollars per sq ft of ANY retail outlet.
What does MS have to sell that will make these stores profitable ?
I can see it now .
My Acer is broken under Windows ...... Sorry we as MS do not support that hardware
Please call Acer .......NEXT LOL
So much for customer service at the Guru Bar
There are simply NO words to describe the pure and utter creative bankruptcy that Microsoft represents.
Seriously. Microsoft simply has no shame.
Apple=Microsoft's R&D department.
One starts with a "G", the other starts with.....forget that.
One has 4 letters. The other has 6 letters.
What the hell is PC experience anyway? Experience what? Whose computers will they showcase? Deadly Dell, Ugly HP or Expensive Sony?
And may be they can order computers. From who? May be from more than hundred PC assemblers out there. Yea right! These guys are a joke.
When will Ballmer admit that he is not tech guy? Here is another way for Microsoft investors to see their stock go down. Sell now and leave your misery behind, a perfect advice to Microsoft investors.
What we witnessed today in the stock market with Microsoft stock is a trend that will never cease.
I can't wait to see the line on the opening day of the first store, for the new PC Experience!
Retail tech support? Wow what a concept. Except the MS Stores will have to fight off angry crowds.
I think the "Guru Bar" concept needs some razor wire, machine guns and attack dogs. Maybe a few no-neck Russian Mafia types lurking around or crowd "control". (In Bulgaria they call them mutra.)
My vision is of the New York City car towing place on the West Side, where you go to get your towed car. Everyone calmly lines up at the "teller" window to pay their fines and bail out their cars. But literally, EVERY person that goes up to the window suddenly yells at the poor bastard behind the bulletproof glass (it IS NYC!), launching into the vilest, funniest string of expletives and rancor you could ever imagine. If you weren't so goddam pissed off standing in line, you'd be laughing your head off, instead of waiting your turn to spew venom!
I'd say that'll be the "Guru Bar".
Jeff, your vision is so perfect, so spot-on it had me literally splitting myself laughing. I have been to the West Side towing yards, and it is a sign that you are having the worst day of your life. (Like having to talk to a 'guru' about windows). Thank you for your razor sharp insight into this dull and inane Tomfoolery that is Microsoft Retail. There's benchmarking your competitor and then there's just ripping someone off. Do these MS execs feel at all bad that they wasted their parents' money on college? Did they study for their tests or just copy off the guy next to them to "get by." What a joke and an embarrassment to American innovation.
Jeff, you rock man!!
2. If we are weeks away from Windows 7 how come the stores are not ready.. I assume you would want them on lunch
It's a crying shame that it's come to this, but MS's lack of forward thinking is exactly what's turned me to Apple. I see no reason at all to go back. Personally I cant wait to load Snow Leopard, but I'll probably trade up to a new Macbook Pro at the same time.
Sell your stock in MS - they're quickly becoming a dinosaur...
your hard drive failed? a new hard drive [with windows 7 preinstalled] will fix that. video card issues? you need a new video card compatable with win7, and we can upgrade you to win7 with that. start key broken? upgrade to windows 7 and get a keyboard 20% off.
The "Guru" bar on the other hand will be staffed by clueless wannabe hackers working at minimum wage with zero customer service skills and be expected to fend of the herds of angry, frustrated PC users with machines infested and corrupted with viruses, malware, trojans, corrupted registries, driver conflicts, and all other kinds of nasty instabilities. And they will be expected to resolve those problems while the customer waits.
What Microsoft would like for you to believe is that they will be there for you in the long haul to help with your problem. The reality is that MS will (again) realize they went way over their head, and the Guru bar will be shut down due to high costs and few results. I work on the side resolving PC / Windows problems (I'm a systems engineer) for frustrated friends and users that just could not get the kind help they needed. Even with my experience, there is no way whatsoever anyone could pay me enough to work behind that desk. Poor workers will be going into the lion's den every day. The turnover rate will be high, morale will be low and in the end, it will become more a liability and will result in really bad PR. Microsoft will silently close the stores and when questioned, will be referred to as an "Experiment".
All those hundreds of millions of dollars MS spends on advertising and this is the best they could come up with? Put the entire Apple store into a huge Xerox machine and press "Copy"??
Guru? Does that mean they will spout mystical claptrap instead of practical advice?
lol - too funny!
Customer: "Hi! Yes. The Wizard tells me that I'm connected but it won't connect when I launch IE."
Guru: "No problem, let's have a look."
Customer pulls out a MacBook.
After having recovered from the chock, Guru recomposes himself and with a sly smirky face tells the customer, "I'm sorry, but we do not support MAC."
Customer: "No, you don't understand, it's Windows that I'm having a problem with."
Guru: "Yes, but that's MAC."
Customer: "I know, but it's running Windows."
Guru: "Sorry, we can't help you. Would you like to take a look at our cost defective, crhummmm, cost effective PCs?"
These guys should write for Conan.
Guru: "Welcome, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi! Yes. The Wizard tells me that I'm connected but it won't connect when I launch IE."
Guru: "No problem, let's have a look."
Customer pulls out a MacBook.
After having recovered from the chock, Guru recomposes himself and with a sly smirky face tells the customer, "I'm sorry, but we do not support MAC."
Customer: "No, you don't understand, it's Windows that I'm having a problem with."
Guru: "Yes, but that's MAC."
Customer: "I know, but it's running Windows."
Guru: "Sorry, we can't help you. Would you like to take a look at our cost defective, crhummmm, cost effective PCs?"
"SORRY WE NO LONGER SUPPORT XP PLEASE BUY WINDOWS 7."
"SORRY BUT YOU DON't HAVE THE MOST EXPENSIVE VIRUS PROGRAM-CAN't HELP YOU"
"YOU HAVE TOO MANY FILES ON YOUR COMPUTER. MAY I ERASE SEVERAL THOUSAND?"
"HAVE YOU TRIED THE CIRCULAR WIZARD YET? LETS TRY THAT FIRST AND SECOND AND THIRD AND..."
Good luck Ball Mur heads.