An Apple customer usually approaches a genius bar for trivial things, the occasional failure, transferring data from an old Mac or (PC) to new Mac, and general questions. Usually can be resolved right then and there by an enthusiastic and competent staff that genuinely love what they do and believe in the products Apple sells.
The "Guru" bar on the other hand will be staffed by clueless wannabe hackers working at minimum wage with zero customer service skills and be expected to fend of the herds of angry, frustrated PC users with machines infested and corrupted with viruses, malware, trojans, corrupted registries, driver conflicts, and all other kinds of nasty instabilities. And they will be expected to resolve those problems while the customer waits.
What Microsoft would like for you to believe is that they will be there for you in the long haul to help with your problem. The reality is that MS will (again) realize they went way over their head, and the Guru bar will be shut down due to high costs and few results. I work on the side resolving PC / Windows problems (I'm a systems engineer) for frustrated friends and users that just could not get the kind help they needed. Even with my experience, there is no way whatsoever anyone could pay me enough to work behind that desk. Poor workers will be going into the lion's den every day. The turnover rate will be high, morale will be low and in the end, it will become more a liability and will result in really bad PR. Microsoft will silently close the stores and when questioned, will be referred to as an "Experiment".
All those hundreds of millions of dollars MS spends on advertising and this is the best they could come up with? Put the entire Apple store into a huge Xerox machine and press "Copy"??
I hope Apple comes out with a "Laptop Hunter" TV ad of their own and goes into one of these MS stores to do a comparison using the PC and Mac guy. That would be hilarious!
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
really? as though this is an everyday occurrence that is as everyday as spam bots and other viruses synonymous to Microsoft. at least the apple store doesn't get users flocking to its store trying to get its Geniuses to clear their system of any software viruses AND spam bots
what's the cost - time, ongoing effort to keep it clean, frustrations, con$ultations, etc ? after purchasing a Windows system?
my friends replaced their old windows system with another. i ended up as their fixer-upper. they couldn't figure out their new Vista. they hate it. however, in all fairness, perhaps it'd be a good thing that microsoft opens competing stores with Gurus (tsk, so innovative). next time my friends come crying to me about their windows computer system not working properly again, i'll send them off to a microsoft store. let their Gurus (them poor things, they'll be like sweepers following the elephants in a parade) take care of microsoft's slop.
please join me in a moment of silence for the gurus.
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
LOL! And what rock did you crawl out from under? Your posts are pure comedy gold!
I like the details in that graphic about the "Answer Bar." In maybe 100 words, they refer to the same thing with 3 different names: Answer Bar (the caption), GURU BAR (in the graphic itself), and Windows bar (in the text). That's consistency of vision for you.
And how about this nugget: "Real-time email notifications keep her [Emily who is waiting for a place at the Windows bar] informed of her place in line." Emails, really? "Real-time" emails? So she'll get a new email every 60 seconds to tell her how many people are still in front of her? Or maybe an email every time her position in line changes? That's awesome. I want Windows bar spam while I'm waiting in line. How about they just steal a page from Dominos Pizza and just make the information available on, say, a Web page?
This "concept" is a 100% copy of an Apple Store! Oh, gee, they changed the labels and use different typefaces. How original. Even the design of the tables is nearly an exact copy.
There are simply NO words to describe the pure and utter creative bankruptcy that Microsoft represents.
Who would actually go into one of these stores? And why?
Retail tech support? Wow what a concept. Except the MS Stores will have to fight off angry crowds.
I think the "Guru Bar" concept needs some razor wire, machine guns and attack dogs. Maybe a few no-neck Russian Mafia types lurking around or crowd "control". (In Bulgaria they call them mutra.)
My vision is of the New York City car towing place on the West Side, where you go to get your towed car. Everyone calmly lines up at the "teller" window to pay their fines and bail out their cars. But literally, EVERY person that goes up to the window suddenly yells at the poor bastard behind the bulletproof glass (it IS NYC!), launching into the vilest, funniest string of expletives and rancor you could ever imagine. If you weren't so goddam pissed off standing in line, you'd be laughing your head off, instead of waiting your turn to spew venom!
I'd say that'll be the "Guru Bar".
Oh my God!!! That was the funniest thing I've heard in a while. How I need to live in New York.
as are all of the other features that they seem to have copied BUT
How do you monetize these stores ?
What are you going to actually sell?
Apple stores have the largest sales dollars per sq ft of ANY retail outlet.
What does MS have to sell that will make these stores profitable ?
I can see it now .
My Acer is broken under Windows ...... Sorry we as MS do not support that hardware
Please call Acer .......NEXT LOL
So much for customer service at the Guru Bar
Precisely. Anyone ever read the OEM license TOS? It states the MANUFACTURE is responsible for support of your operating system.
Oh, the rolling joke about why it's called a "GURU" bar... All their tech support is from India. (it's a joke guys, laugh, you won the Tech Support job war).
New books:
MicroSutra (1000 ways to fix your system and LOVE it).
MicroKarma (the feeling of owning and operating a Microsoft based system)
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
You do realize it was SONY that created the batteries that caught fire... More PC laptops were equipped with them than Mac's. However only Apple publicly came out with a recall. Toshiba's answer was "..if you experience a overheating battery condition mail... 6-8 weeks for replacement.", yea I liked Apple's better, call or go online and we'll next day air a replacement.
My guess, you'll be #1 in line with the "I'm a PC" shirt at the first store. Zune plugs in ear and a busted laptop under each arm.
You do realize it was SONY that created the batteries that caught fire... More PC laptops were equipped with them than Mac's. However only Apple publicly came out with a recall. Toshiba's answer was "..if you experience a overheating battery condition mail... 6-8 weeks for replacement.", yea I liked Apple's better, call or go online and we'll next day air a replacement.
My guess, you'll be #1 in line with the "I'm a PC" shirt at the first store. Zune plugs in ear and a busted laptop under each arm.
here's Bing's search result for "over heating laptop batteries"
by the way, if you scroll down towards the end of Bing's search result page, you should notice "Shop for over heating laptop batteries »" so, anyone interested in buying overheating laptop batteries recommended by Bing?
Comments
An Apple customer usually approaches a genius bar for trivial things, the occasional failure, transferring data from an old Mac or (PC) to new Mac, and general questions. Usually can be resolved right then and there by an enthusiastic and competent staff that genuinely love what they do and believe in the products Apple sells.
The "Guru" bar on the other hand will be staffed by clueless wannabe hackers working at minimum wage with zero customer service skills and be expected to fend of the herds of angry, frustrated PC users with machines infested and corrupted with viruses, malware, trojans, corrupted registries, driver conflicts, and all other kinds of nasty instabilities. And they will be expected to resolve those problems while the customer waits.
What Microsoft would like for you to believe is that they will be there for you in the long haul to help with your problem. The reality is that MS will (again) realize they went way over their head, and the Guru bar will be shut down due to high costs and few results. I work on the side resolving PC / Windows problems (I'm a systems engineer) for frustrated friends and users that just could not get the kind help they needed. Even with my experience, there is no way whatsoever anyone could pay me enough to work behind that desk. Poor workers will be going into the lion's den every day. The turnover rate will be high, morale will be low and in the end, it will become more a liability and will result in really bad PR. Microsoft will silently close the stores and when questioned, will be referred to as an "Experiment".
All those hundreds of millions of dollars MS spends on advertising and this is the best they could come up with? Put the entire Apple store into a huge Xerox machine and press "Copy"??
Well said my friend.
I second. Well said.
I hope Apple comes out with a "Laptop Hunter" TV ad of their own and goes into one of these MS stores to do a comparison using the PC and Mac guy. That would be hilarious!
Yeah, the torch and pitchfork crowd!
Somebody do a mock up of a MS store with an angry mob attacking it.
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
Yup. You joined specifically to troll.
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
really? as though this is an everyday occurrence that is as everyday as spam bots and other viruses synonymous to Microsoft. at least the apple store doesn't get users flocking to its store trying to get its Geniuses to clear their system of any software viruses AND spam bots
what's the cost - time, ongoing effort to keep it clean, frustrations, con$ultations, etc ? after purchasing a Windows system?
my friends replaced their old windows system with another. i ended up as their fixer-upper. they couldn't figure out their new Vista. they hate it. however, in all fairness, perhaps it'd be a good thing that microsoft opens competing stores with Gurus (tsk, so innovative). next time my friends come crying to me about their windows computer system not working properly again, i'll send them off to a microsoft store. let their Gurus (them poor things, they'll be like sweepers following the elephants in a parade) take care of microsoft's slop.
please join me in a moment of silence for the gurus.
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
LOL! And what rock did you crawl out from under? Your posts are pure comedy gold!
And how about this nugget: "Real-time email notifications keep her [Emily who is waiting for a place at the Windows bar] informed of her place in line." Emails, really? "Real-time" emails? So she'll get a new email every 60 seconds to tell her how many people are still in front of her? Or maybe an email every time her position in line changes? That's awesome. I want Windows bar spam while I'm waiting in line. How about they just steal a page from Dominos Pizza and just make the information available on, say, a Web page?
This "concept" is a 100% copy of an Apple Store! Oh, gee, they changed the labels and use different typefaces. How original. Even the design of the tables is nearly an exact copy.
There are simply NO words to describe the pure and utter creative bankruptcy that Microsoft represents.
Who would actually go into one of these stores? And why?
Retail tech support? Wow what a concept. Except the MS Stores will have to fight off angry crowds.
I think the "Guru Bar" concept needs some razor wire, machine guns and attack dogs. Maybe a few no-neck Russian Mafia types lurking around or crowd "control". (In Bulgaria they call them mutra.)
My vision is of the New York City car towing place on the West Side, where you go to get your towed car. Everyone calmly lines up at the "teller" window to pay their fines and bail out their cars. But literally, EVERY person that goes up to the window suddenly yells at the poor bastard behind the bulletproof glass (it IS NYC!), launching into the vilest, funniest string of expletives and rancor you could ever imagine. If you weren't so goddam pissed off standing in line, you'd be laughing your head off, instead of waiting your turn to spew venom!
I'd say that'll be the "Guru Bar".
Oh my God!!! That was the funniest thing I've heard in a while. How I need to live in New York.
as are all of the other features that they seem to have copied BUT
How do you monetize these stores ?
What are you going to actually sell?
Apple stores have the largest sales dollars per sq ft of ANY retail outlet.
What does MS have to sell that will make these stores profitable ?
I can see it now .
My Acer is broken under Windows ...... Sorry we as MS do not support that hardware
Please call Acer .......NEXT LOL
So much for customer service at the Guru Bar
Precisely. Anyone ever read the OEM license TOS? It states the MANUFACTURE is responsible for support of your operating system.
Oh, the rolling joke about why it's called a "GURU" bar... All their tech support is from India. (it's a joke guys, laugh, you won the Tech Support job war).
New books:
MicroSutra (1000 ways to fix your system and LOVE it).
MicroKarma (the feeling of owning and operating a Microsoft based system)
You forget that the main difference between Apples stores and Microsoft stores will be... The Microsoft stores won't be selling products that EXPLODE or CATCH ON FIRE, plus... The Microsoft stores will be selling products that are actually 'stable' and don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
You do realize it was SONY that created the batteries that caught fire... More PC laptops were equipped with them than Mac's. However only Apple publicly came out with a recall. Toshiba's answer was "..if you experience a overheating battery condition mail... 6-8 weeks for replacement.", yea I liked Apple's better, call or go online and we'll next day air a replacement.
My guess, you'll be #1 in line with the "I'm a PC" shirt at the first store. Zune plugs in ear and a busted laptop under each arm.
You do realize it was SONY that created the batteries that caught fire... More PC laptops were equipped with them than Mac's. However only Apple publicly came out with a recall. Toshiba's answer was "..if you experience a overheating battery condition mail... 6-8 weeks for replacement.", yea I liked Apple's better, call or go online and we'll next day air a replacement.
My guess, you'll be #1 in line with the "I'm a PC" shirt at the first store. Zune plugs in ear and a busted laptop under each arm.
here's Bing's search result for "over heating laptop batteries"
http://www.bing.com/search?q=over+he...form=QBRE&qs=n
by the way, if you scroll down towards the end of Bing's search result page, you should notice "Shop for over heating laptop batteries »" so, anyone interested in buying overheating laptop batteries recommended by Bing?
Perhaps I'm missing something, but what does Microsoft have to sell of value? Just wondering.
an utopia that keeps on failing, and a plethora of misnomers and oxymorons.
an utopia that keeps on failing, and a plethora of misnomers and oxymorons.
Those would be the people actually going into the store.
don't cost 5X the amount of the actual worth
I bet your boss is thinking the same thing!
so, anyone interested in buying overheating laptop batteries recommended by Bing?
That's just Bing "acting stupidly"!