How to pick up British girls?

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited August 2014
Well I'm going to at least attempt to, there's a British girl in my English class, good looking, nice, basic admirable features. Any tips, pointers, anything I should know? Any inside stuff that only Brits would understand? Any help appreciated.
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 90
    imudimud Posts: 140member
    Tell her you love women with hairy arm pits and that you have a big willie or johnson <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 2 of 90
    g4dudeg4dude Posts: 1,016member
    Tell her that she has nice teeth while trying to keep a straight face. Then maybe talk about how the Beatles were the best band ever and how you never understood why we drive on the left side of the road. Then ask her if she would like to spend tea time at your house on friday and maybe go get a dinner of fish and chips over at Long John Silvers and then go see Die Another Day.



    Maybe also start off with a witty joke. "Two peanuts were walking down the street; one was assalted."



    [ 11-15-2002: Message edited by: G4Dude ]</p>
  • Reply 3 of 90
    the less advice you take from appleinsider, the better.





    here's a hint: british girls aren't any different than american ones.
  • Reply 4 of 90
    giaguaragiaguara Posts: 2,724member
    <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" /> <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />



    Duh.. i'm not good in this topic.. lived in UK but i knew far more Greek guys than British gals..



    Tell her she's pretty.. and how all the American girls are like the same.. so you are amazed how much more intelligent / individual / traditional / stylisy / whatever she wants to hear SHE and the generally the british are..
  • Reply 5 of 90
    please don't start off by telling her that she has [quote] nice, basic admirable features <hr></blockquote>...that would be a poor beginning....just smile, be friendly, look her in the eyes when you talk to her, listen when she talks and be confident without be cocky....if you can do that, you should be fine...g



    ps...don't tell her you have been wanting to talk to her, but had to get some advice first from some apple geeks on-line...not a strong selling point...
  • Reply 6 of 90
    giaguaragiaguara Posts: 2,724member
    [quote]Originally posted by thegelding:

    <strong>.. been wanting to talk to her, but had to get some advice first from some apple geeks on-line...not a strong selling point...</strong><hr></blockquote>



    ...unless she uses a mac?

    <img src="graemlins/hmmm.gif" border="0" alt="[Hmmm]" />
  • Reply 7 of 90
    Please. Here's how to pick up any girl: just ask her a question, and zone out while she talks. Occasionally mutter or grunt, throw out an oh no, or wow, great, and furrow your forehead every once in a while. You don't even have to listen, just let them talk and you'll come out looking like a big sweetheart. Whatever you do, don't talk puppy-dogs and ice cream because it will end up on the friendship tip.



    That's it.



    lol
  • Reply 8 of 90
    [quote]Originally posted by Jonathan:

    <strong>the less advice you take from appleinsider, the better.





    here's a hint: british girls aren't any different than american ones.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Translation: Don't trust this, but this is what you should do.
  • Reply 9 of 90
    defiantdefiant Posts: 4,876member
    [quote]Originally posted by Gambit:

    <strong>...Whatever you do, don't talk puppy-dogs and ice cream because it will end up on the friendship tip.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    what does that mean? you know, "translated".
  • Reply 10 of 90
    I'm going out with a lovely American girl from Hartford Connecticut, Insurance Capital of the USA.



    I managed to seduce her by taking her to the best Japanese restaurant in London and getting her really drunk on saki. I'm also very good looking indeed, and very charming and funny; this helps.



    So, good luck! British girls can be tremendous, especially if they have the nicer basic features. Ask her about Zippy from Rainbow, Grange Hill, or shake you head sadly and say 'John Leslie and Ulrika Johnson, eh?' and she'll melt into your arms.
  • Reply 11 of 90
    Basically it comes down to pouring two pints in her and snog her (that's kiss)



    Then tell her to get the f*ck out of Ireland It's very trendy to be anti government in England. Don't say anything bad about the queen though - they love her.



    Oh..and soccer is football.
  • Reply 12 of 90
    kelibkelib Posts: 740member
    Wrong forum - Should be Software discussions
  • Reply 13 of 90
    Topic: How to pick up British girls?



    Bend at the knees, and keep your back straight.
  • Reply 14 of 90
    [quote]Originally posted by GardenOfEarthlyDelights:

    <strong>Topic: How to pick up British girls?



    Bend at the knees, and keep your back straight.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    lol
  • Reply 15 of 90
    Jchen: Just be you,
  • Reply 16 of 90
    ast3r3xast3r3x Posts: 5,012member
    i love the smart a$$ comments people give...makes me proud to be a member <img src="graemlins/lol.gif" border="0" alt="[Laughing]" />
  • Reply 17 of 90
    rodukroduk Posts: 706member
    [quote]Originally posted by Alpha Mac:

    <strong>Jchen: Just be you,</strong><hr></blockquote>



    He's trying to pick her up, not be a single guy for the rest of his life.



    [quote]Originally posted by Hassan i Sabbah:

    <strong>

    So, good luck! British girls can be tremendous, especially if they have the nicer basic features. Ask her about Zippy from Rainbow, Grange Hill, or shake you head sadly and say 'John Leslie and Ulrika Johnson, eh?' and she'll melt into your arms.</strong><hr></blockquote>



    Ask her about Bagpuss (professor Yaffle, Madeleine, Gabriel etc), or Captain Pugwash (Master Bates, Seaman Staines, Roger the cabin boy etc).



    Rainbow (Zippy, George, Bungle etc) is totally uncool.



    [ 11-15-2002: Message edited by: RodUK ]</p>
  • Reply 18 of 90
    giaguaragiaguara Posts: 2,724member
    [quote]Originally posted by Defiant:

    <strong>



    what does that mean? you know, "translated".</strong><hr></blockquote>



    "if you don't want to be considered as a FRIEND but something more, then don't talk like a teenager british girl"
  • Reply 19 of 90
    Make sure she knows how desirable you are. Reinforce that Americans are superior to the British and thus you are a better catch than those other bloody bastards. This will make you very attractive in her eyes. Be sure to insult British cooking, the royal family and in particular, David Beckham. Speaking of Beckham, remember, that the British are most proud of the Spice Girls and if you adore them that will help her fall in love with you. And whatever you do, don't call her brilliant. The British never use the world brilliant because it is considered the worst insult possible. Kinda like bad can be good in America, while the same sort of reversal applies to the world brilliant. Just tell her she is not brilliant in the least to be on the safe side.
  • Reply 20 of 90
    Oh and make sure you wear a sheepskin rubber, those Wuthering Heights types love that.
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