The Misquoting Thread

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited January 2014
I dare you to misquote me.
«134

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 74
    trumptmantrumptman Posts: 16,455member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    I dare you to touch my privates.



    Didn't you offer to buy me an ice cream cone first?



    Nick
  • Reply 2 of 74
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by trumptman View Post


    I have a big bubble butt and a head shaped like a butt and my butt smells like butt.



    Nick



    I agree, but I think the larger issue is deodorant.
  • Reply 3 of 74
    trumptmantrumptman Posts: 16,455member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    I agree, but I think the larger women make for better lovin' when I add the vegetable oil.



    I'm sure they like it even better when you lay them on the plastic furniture covers as well.



    Nick
  • Reply 4 of 74
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by trumptman View Post


    I'm sure they like it even better when I dress up in high heels and stockings.



    I'm sure they do.
  • Reply 5 of 74
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by trumptman View Post


    I'm sure I like it even better when I lay me on the plastic furniture covers as well.



    Nick



    Sort of like that Tom Waits song, right? Slide over on the couch toward yourself...and round about 2:30 in the morning, you've done it again. You've taken advantage of yourself....
  • Reply 6 of 74
    trumptmantrumptman Posts: 16,455member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post


    I'm sure they do notice that I harm puppies and kitties.



    Well if you stopped putting them in your underwear they probably could ignore it.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    Sort of like that Tom Waits song, right? Slide over on the couch toward yourself...and take some pictures of yourself with your puppy and post them on the internet for all to see, but then save those SPECIAL pictures of you with the puppy for those private torrents.



    See Mid you never have any good hobbies like saving Dexter for me, or fixing snow blowers, or repairing old RV's.
  • Reply 7 of 74
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by trumptman View Post


    Well if I stopped picking my nose, I'd be anorexic.



    Understandable.



    It's a good source of protein.
  • Reply 8 of 74
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post


    Understandable.



    It's a good source of protein, but not quite as good as the one I prefer.



    Soy products, I presume.
  • Reply 9 of 74
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by audiopollution View Post


    Soy products don't hold a candle to what I get from my mom.



    She is a fantastic woman.
  • Reply 10 of 74
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post


    I eat my caca.



    Eating your own feces results in mental retardation. Ahh, that explains it.
  • Reply 11 of 74
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rich-Myster View Post


    Eating your own tripe results in stomach indigestion. Ahh, that explains it.



    Yes, you might want to wash that stuff first.
  • Reply 12 of 74
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    What is this thread about?
  • Reply 13 of 74
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BRussell View Post


    My favorite TV show is Friends.



    Aww, dammit!
  • Reply 14 of 74
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BRussell View Post


    Aww, dagnabit!



    Yeah, I used to love Deputy Dawg too.
  • Reply 15 of 74
    trumptmantrumptman Posts: 16,455member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by krispie View Post


    Yeah, I used cut the pockets out of my pants and play with myself in the movie theater.



    While I never quite "Found Nemo" in that regard, I can attempt to appreciate our "differences."



    Nick
  • Reply 16 of 74
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by trumptman View Post


    I am emo. I like to slit my wrists.



    Nick



    That is very unfortunate. I've heard that can kill you?
  • Reply 17 of 74
    sdw2001sdw2001 Posts: 17,038member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Rich-Myster View Post


    That is very unfortunate. I've heard having cats lick your balls can kill you.



    Heard that too. Watch the teeth, champ.
  • Reply 18 of 74
    outsideroutsider Posts: 6,008member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by SDW2001 View Post


    On my knees now, and I'll watch the teeth, champ.



    How considerate of you.
  • Reply 19 of 74
    Quote:

    Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.



    - Hesketh Pearson
  • Reply 20 of 74
    trumptmantrumptman Posts: 16,455member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Outsider View Post


    How come I have to suck and swallow.



    Because you have too many blackheads on your nose.



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by @_@ Artman View Post


    - My hero





    You are a pretty sick guy.



    Nick
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