Dude...before you asked her out did you happen to mention that you are married to Steve Jobs...that might freak her out a little, and the earlier you tell her the easier it will be.
She was surprised to say the least. It was funny because I could tell she was trying to mask some of her emotion about it, so she was probably feeling the same way I was. I asked her in class, there was a film on after the quiz and I started talking to her. The whole room was chatting quietly, pretty much. So I asked her about her recent trip to California (no mention of Apple, though I wanted to throw in 'did u know cupertino is home to..' haha) and about how all of that went. Then I asked her what she was doing this weekend. I asked her if she would still be too hungover from St.Patrick's day to do anything, corny..but it worked. She said she'd love to hang out. So we'll see how it goes, and then maybe I'll ask her to the prom.
Your in. "I'd love to" Thats nothing but good news. Now treat her like a princess, like all women deserve to be treated!
Go for the prom thing too, unless something goes horribly wrong between than and now (for example, you find out she used to be a man)...but you wont screw up, will you?
Your in. "I'd love to" Thats nothing but good news. Now treat her like a princess, like all women deserve to be treated!
Go for the prom thing too, unless something goes horribly wrong between than and now (for example, you find out she used to be a man)...but you wont screw up, will you?
Hah. Treat her like a princess. Right. Don't call her. Don't be available to her. Keep any compliments on a tight leash. Be a jerk. She won't be able to resist.
Your in. "I'd love to" Thats nothing but good news. Now treat her like a princess, like all women deserve to be treated!
Go for the prom thing too, unless something goes horribly wrong between than and now (for example, you find out she used to be a man)...but you wont screw up, will you?
Hi DMB -
Well, I'm afraid I *can't* agree about the 'princess' thing.
I honestly don't know why it is, but if a guy seems TOO outrageously enthusiastic about a relationship, it tends to dim the girl's ardor.
I guess it's because she can tell she *has* this guy - hook, line, and sinker. She'll slip into taking him for granted, and start seeing how far she can push things till he gets mad, and then she'll be smitten all over again.
She wants to feel his strength, his maleness (*figuratively* speaking, that is... ).
That's a dangerous comment to make, because some guys will think I mean she likes him to be emotionally abusive. I don't mean that at ALL!!!!!!
I think it's human nature - for males and females both - that when they are *assured* of having something, they relax and don't try so hard anymore. Am I making sense here?
By the same token, I think if a *girl* acts like she adores a guy, he'll start pushing the same line - of neglect, lack of availability, of not calling, because he knows he can get away with it (the stuff BR mentioned) - to see how far he can push her till she gets terminally offended and becomes a 'challenge' once again. In other words, until suddenly her affection is *not* guaranteed.
It's a strange game people play. I don't know why it's done, but I think it happens ALL the time.
IMO, *Don't* treat her like a princess. Instead - this may sound weird - just treat her the way you would a good male friend - what I mean is, with the same *attitude*: with common courtesy, but NOT OVERLY-attentive (i.e. fawning over her. urgh).
*Don't* call her five times a day. Be more restrained. Once a day would be okay, but only if you really want to. OTOH, if she is a hottie, don't make her feel *neglected* and *hurt*, because I can guarantee you, other guys will be waiting in the wings for their chance.
It's a FINE LINE: don't act 'whipped', but don't be neglectful. A nice medium path is the best. That way you'll keep her interest, she'll know you like her, but she won't start taking you for granted.
And *never* put her down or be physically or emotionally abusive. That is NOT the "male strength" I was talking about that girls love. That's not the way a TRUE man acts.....abusing someone weaker or more vulnerable than he.
*Some* girls will put up with this type of treatment, but those girls are individuals who are lacking in self-respect. A girl with strength of character, the kind of girl you'd love and respect, would NOT put up with such treatment for long.
These are just MY thoughts about things, and if anyone wishes to disagree, feel free.
It's because when you start to treat the girl like a princess you go into like Super Wuss Extravaganza mode. You'll do anything for the girl, which effectively removes your spine from your body. Women don't really want that. Women want to know that you are strong, independent, and have your own life. These are pretty good qualities to posses anyway.
You should really read some of the David DeAngelo stuff at the website I mentioned back on page 1. It explains a lot of this to those men that have forgotten how to be a man.
3) You're on your own. I would make sure to fire in a pretty quick-but-effective self-explanatory medley, since you're not going to really care about her unless she's cool with you.
Don't let anyone tell you that flowers are a bad idea. If the girl doesn't appreciate the flowers, you don't want to know her. Seriously.
This is coming from a guy who has crashed and burned a lot. As the movie Top Gun rightfully portrays, like the wolf, you fail a lot more than you succeed. But if you really like her, keep trying until she kicks you in the groin. That's a good time to call it quits.
8)
Anyway, having read this thread. . .
Don't get stuck in the FRIEND ZONE The friend zone sucks! Don't go there! Don't hang out with her friends. Buy her dinner. Make sure she doesn't think this is some sort of senisitive-guy thing.
Somehow I just bet you jumped right on course for the friend zone. It's a beginners mistake, but at this stage in the game it can be remedied.
I guess my "treat her like a princess" thing should have been explained a little bit better. I don't mean be a total puss bag and act like a retard around her. I mean, be perfect for her, respect her, treat her like she deserves to be treated. Be strong for her, be a man for her. Make sure she knows that you have the utmost respect and admiration for her. Every woman deserves that. Don't be a pussy though, guys that get pussy whipped suck.
Comments
Originally posted by Messiahtosh
Yeah, probably shouldnt have said anything, but too late now!
Well the good news is, I didnt use a note...the OTHER good news is, she wants to hang out this weekend. I'm happy.
Could you provide us with more details as to what you said and the convo etc?
Originally posted by Messiahtosh
Yeah, probably shouldnt have said anything, but too late now!
Well the good news is, I didnt use a note...the OTHER good news is, she wants to hang out this weekend. I'm happy.
YAY!!! Way to go, Chris!
Did she seem surprised?
Did you ask her in the hallway?
Sigh.
Now I can go out for breakfast with an easy mind.
Life is good. 8)
Congrats man.
Originally posted by Carol A
YAY!!! Way to go, Chris!
Did she seem surprised?
Did you ask her in the hallway?
Sigh.
Now I can go out for breakfast with an easy mind.
Life is good. 8)
She was surprised to say the least. It was funny because I could tell she was trying to mask some of her emotion about it, so she was probably feeling the same way I was. I asked her in class, there was a film on after the quiz and I started talking to her. The whole room was chatting quietly, pretty much. So I asked her about her recent trip to California (no mention of Apple, though I wanted to throw in 'did u know cupertino is home to..' haha) and about how all of that went. Then I asked her what she was doing this weekend. I asked her if she would still be too hungover from St.Patrick's day to do anything, corny..but it worked. She said she'd love to hang out. So we'll see how it goes, and then maybe I'll ask her to the prom.
Go for the prom thing too, unless something goes horribly wrong between than and now (for example, you find out she used to be a man)...but you wont screw up, will you?
Originally posted by DMBand0026
Your in. "I'd love to" Thats nothing but good news. Now treat her like a princess, like all women deserve to be treated!
Go for the prom thing too, unless something goes horribly wrong between than and now (for example, you find out she used to be a man)...but you wont screw up, will you?
Hah. Treat her like a princess. Right. Don't call her. Don't be available to her. Keep any compliments on a tight leash. Be a jerk. She won't be able to resist.
Originally posted by Messiahtosh
She said she'd love to hang out. So we'll see how it goes, and then maybe I'll ask her to the prom.
Right on! No wuss, no cheese! Nice work man, sounds like you're in. Smart move to deftly avoid the computer talk hahah.
(nice title btw LOL)
Originally posted by nwhysee
I'm telling you, "Lemme beat plus dome" gets a girl every single time.
Originally posted by nwhysee
I'm telling you, "Lemme beat plus dome" gets a girl every single time.
Are you saying: "Lemme beat, plus DO me?"?
Originally posted by DMBand0026
Your in. "I'd love to" Thats nothing but good news. Now treat her like a princess, like all women deserve to be treated!
Go for the prom thing too, unless something goes horribly wrong between than and now (for example, you find out she used to be a man)...but you wont screw up, will you?
Hi DMB -
Well, I'm afraid I *can't* agree about the 'princess' thing.
I honestly don't know why it is, but if a guy seems TOO outrageously enthusiastic about a relationship, it tends to dim the girl's ardor.
I guess it's because she can tell she *has* this guy - hook, line, and sinker. She'll slip into taking him for granted, and start seeing how far she can push things till he gets mad, and then she'll be smitten all over again.
She wants to feel his strength, his maleness (*figuratively* speaking, that is...
That's a dangerous comment to make, because some guys will think I mean she likes him to be emotionally abusive. I don't mean that at ALL!!!!!!
I think it's human nature - for males and females both - that when they are *assured* of having something, they relax and don't try so hard anymore. Am I making sense here?
By the same token, I think if a *girl* acts like she adores a guy, he'll start pushing the same line - of neglect, lack of availability, of not calling, because he knows he can get away with it (the stuff BR mentioned) - to see how far he can push her till she gets terminally offended and becomes a 'challenge' once again. In other words, until suddenly her affection is *not* guaranteed.
It's a strange game people play. I don't know why it's done, but I think it happens ALL the time.
IMO, *Don't* treat her like a princess. Instead - this may sound weird - just treat her the way you would a good male friend - what I mean is, with the same *attitude*: with common courtesy, but NOT OVERLY-attentive (i.e. fawning over her. urgh).
*Don't* call her five times a day. Be more restrained. Once a day would be okay, but only if you really want to. OTOH, if she is a hottie, don't make her feel *neglected* and *hurt*, because I can guarantee you, other guys will be waiting in the wings for their chance.
It's a FINE LINE: don't act 'whipped', but don't be neglectful. A nice medium path is the best. That way you'll keep her interest, she'll know you like her, but she won't start taking you for granted.
And *never* put her down or be physically or emotionally abusive. That is NOT the "male strength" I was talking about that girls love. That's not the way a TRUE man acts.....abusing someone weaker or more vulnerable than he.
*Some* girls will put up with this type of treatment, but those girls are individuals who are lacking in self-respect. A girl with strength of character, the kind of girl you'd love and respect, would NOT put up with such treatment for long.
These are just MY thoughts about things, and if anyone wishes to disagree, feel free.
I mean, I beat myself up over it.
You should really read some of the David DeAngelo stuff at the website I mentioned back on page 1. It explains a lot of this to those men that have forgotten how to be a man.
Originally posted by LoCash
It explains a lot of this to those men that have forgotten how to be a man.
I would like to read this...
*looks at sig and worries*
2) Break the ice
3) You're on your own. I would make sure to fire in a pretty quick-but-effective self-explanatory medley, since you're not going to really care about her unless she's cool with you.
Don't let anyone tell you that flowers are a bad idea. If the girl doesn't appreciate the flowers, you don't want to know her. Seriously.
This is coming from a guy who has crashed and burned a lot. As the movie Top Gun rightfully portrays, like the wolf, you fail a lot more than you succeed. But if you really like her, keep trying until she kicks you in the groin. That's a good time to call it quits.
8)
Anyway, having read this thread. . .
Don't get stuck in the FRIEND ZONE The friend zone sucks! Don't go there! Don't hang out with her friends. Buy her dinner. Make sure she doesn't think this is some sort of senisitive-guy thing.
Somehow I just bet you jumped right on course for the friend zone. It's a beginners mistake, but at this stage in the game it can be remedied.
Hang in there cowboy.