Dating American Girls....advice

stevegongruistevegongrui
Posted:
in General Discussion edited August 2015
Ok, so I'm new to the country and have been rather lost in the realm of dating.



The only girls I ever really talked to were from my school, and they were a rather distinct bunch because we were all very international.





Now, to get down to business.



Can someone please explain the steps to dating?



Also, what things are liked/unliked by girls here in the US?





Thanks,

Steve.
«1345

Comments

  • Reply 1 of 83
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    I cannot imagine it is too terribly different from what goes in Rome. Perhaps if you would explain what you are used to we Americans can tweak your method.
  • Reply 2 of 83
    baumanbauman Posts: 1,248member
    YOU ARE ITALIAN.



    TELL PEOPLE THAT.



    GET SOME.
  • Reply 3 of 83
    cosmonutcosmonut Posts: 4,872member
    If I knew the answer to your questions I would not still be single.



    The simple answer: Respect them and turn on your Italian charm. 8)
  • Reply 4 of 83
    buonrottobuonrotto Posts: 6,368member
    Well, I'd say be a little less, uh, aggressive than most Romans. One of my American friends described the Roman men this way, and described Neapolitan men as "neanderthals." (Actually, a lot of women who lived there for a while said this.)



    And stop staring at their goodies!



    Not much different otherwise. Hardest part is the subtle difference in manners and other mundane but expected behavior. It's hard to explain. When you start living in a foreign culture, you notice the tiniest things that are different, and they get amplified. It's frustrating for a while, then you get the hang of it. Get some dates behind you, go easy on yourself and your date. Most women will regard the cultural differences as charming and interesting, maybe even exotic.
  • Reply 5 of 83
    dmband0026dmband0026 Posts: 2,345member
    1. Respect. Above all else, chicks dig a guy who respects her.

    2. Treat her better than you treat yourself. 'Nuff said.

    3. Don't stare at "the goods"

    4. Girls suck.

    5. Girls suck.

    6. Be prepared to go broke. Chicks dig a guy who will spend big on them.



    Good luck!
  • Reply 6 of 83
    groveratgroverat Posts: 10,872member
    Personal space is important.
  • Reply 7 of 83
    baumanbauman Posts: 1,248member
    Boooo.



    Really, I say, don't worry. Just be yourself. The more preoccupied you are with little cultural differences, the more nervous (less confident) you will seem. Besides Italian cultural differences are SEXY.



    Besides, no matter how hard you try to put on a front, she'll see the real you eventually.



    Just ask a chick out on a date. Sink or Swim.
  • Reply 8 of 83
    bungebunge Posts: 7,329member
    I would ask the girl you like the exact same questions you've asked us.
  • Reply 9 of 83
    eugeneeugene Posts: 8,254member
    Steve is ethnically Asian. 'nuff said.
  • Reply 10 of 83
    gilschgilsch Posts: 1,995member
    -Where in the US are you? If you're in California, get a nice car.



    -Use the power of the accent. Most chicks dig an accent.



    -What Bunge said. That was a great suggestion.
  • Reply 11 of 83
    wrong robotwrong robot Posts: 3,907member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by DMBand0026

    1. Respect. Above all else, chicks dig a guy who respects her.

    2. Treat her better than you treat yourself. 'Nuff said.

    3. Don't stare at "the goods"

    4. Girls suck.

    5. Girls suck.

    6. Be prepared to go broke. Chicks dig a guy who will spend big on them.



    Good luck!





    no no no, don't hand yourself on a plate like that, You gotta be a dick, but in a way that gets them intrigued and piques their interest. Nice guys finish last and all that. It's true, Everytime I've tried to be the nice guy, it's never worked out, but when I am rude and difficult with them, they always go for it.



    same with many of my friends too.



    Girls dig guys that are confident above all, confident and comfortable with sex, and that won't be "too easy" in their eyes.
  • Reply 12 of 83
    nebulousnebulous Posts: 193member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Wrong Robot

    no no no, don't hand yourself on a plate like that, You gotta be a dick, but in a way that gets them intrigued and piques their interest. Nice guys finish last and all that. It's true, Everytime I've tried to be the nice guy, it's never worked out, but when I am rude and difficult with them, they always go for it.



    same with many of my friends too.



    Girls dig guys that are confident above all, confident and comfortable with sex, and that won't be "too easy" in their eyes.



    I beg to differ.



    <girl advice>



    Whatever you do, don't be a jerk. Women are attracted to sweet, confident, approachable guys. As Gilsch said, though: use the accent! Guys with accents are definitely sexy. Just be yourself, and you'll find someone who likes you for who you are. That's the best.



    </girl advice>



    I don't know, Wrong Robot. I personally don't know any of my girlfriends to be attracted to jerks. Maybe I don't see it?
  • Reply 13 of 83
    carol acarol a Posts: 1,043member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stevegongrui

    Ok, so I'm new to the country and have been rather lost in the realm of dating.



    The only girls I ever really talked to were from my school, and they were a rather distinct bunch because we were all very international.





    Now, to get down to business.



    Can someone please explain the steps to dating?



    Also, what things are liked/unliked by girls here in the US?





    Thanks,

    Steve.



    Hi Steve -



    Okay, if you really are 'lost in the realm of dating', I'll start from scratch with the most basic stuff. I'll assume that you are a bit shy.



    If you see a girl in class who appeals to you, sit relatively near her a few times and eventually make eye contact. Smile casually; and if she smiles back, then after class, ask her if she'd like to go for coffee.



    Just 'going for coffee' would be a quick and easy way to get things going, because it isn't too involved, and you can see rather quickly if she's easy and enjoyable to talk with. If she is, then that shows she is probably just as interested in you as you are in her. If she seems friendly and enthusiastic, ask her if she'd like to go to a movie and then for pizza on Friday night. The movie will give you something to talk about while you are having pizza. Everyone loves pizza, and it's a casual kind of place, with beer available; so things will be relaxed and comfortable.



    Show interest in her and her opinions. Ask questions about things you are genuinely curious about with regard to life in America. Just be yourself. If she seems friendly and enthusiastic at this point, after pizza you could go to a club where you can dance. Slow dancing with her will give you clues as to how she 'really' feels about you. I she dances 'close and snuggly', you know she likes you and wants to get 'better acquainted' .



    Girls like guys who are self-confident, but not pushy, over-bearing, or self-centered. If a guy seems like all he's interested in is himself, that's a major turn off. The fact that you have lived in Europe should be interesting to her. If it's not, then she's probably not a girl you'll enjoy dating.



    I hope these suggestions have been helpful. If not, ask more specifically what you want to know, and I'll see what I can come up with.



    Carol
  • Reply 14 of 83
    talksense101talksense101 Posts: 1,738member
    So Carol, want to have a cup of coffee?
  • Reply 15 of 83
    stevegongruistevegongrui Posts: 771member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by groverat

    Personal space is important.





    Yeah, really, I found this out and learned a hard learned lesson.
  • Reply 16 of 83
    stevegongruistevegongrui Posts: 771member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Eugene

    Steve is ethnically Asian. 'nuff said.





    Yeah, good point, here's the thing.



    As I said, I always knew girls in our school of the international community. Like, I've never dated anyone outside that.



    So here comes the problem:



    It seems to me that american girls in general would prefer not to be with an ethnically asian person. It's not really racism, but sort of like ethnic preference.



    Is this true? Not very fair to me, since I grew up liking white girls and I don't like asians at all.







    I'm in Charlottesville VA
  • Reply 17 of 83
    stevegongruistevegongrui Posts: 771member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Carol A

    Hi Steve -



    Okay, if you reaIf not, ask more specifically what you want to know, and I'll see what I can come up with.



    Carol



    Thanks a lot Carol, that was very helpful.



    I guess I'm confused about ethnicity because some asian friends I have are telling me to give it up with trying to date a white girl because they say it just won't happen. They think that there is no way or too little chance any white girl will find asians attractive and thus I'd be wasting my time. They tell me to "stick to my own kind".



    but see, what is my own kind? I grew up in italy with a european mindset but of course I'm chinese. furthermore, I always attended international schools where people were all very international and this ethnic preference didn't really occurr to me.



    HELP!
  • Reply 18 of 83
    eugeneeugene Posts: 8,254member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stevegongrui



    Is this true? Not very fair to me, since I grew up liking white girls and I don't like asians at all.



    Pretty much, yeah...
  • Reply 19 of 83
    stevegongruistevegongrui Posts: 771member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by Eugene

    Pretty much, yeah...





    Then it must be the same for you too, right?
  • Reply 20 of 83
    eugeneeugene Posts: 8,254member
    Quote:

    Originally posted by stevegongrui

    Then it must be the same for you too, right?



    Pretty much, yeah.
Sign In or Register to comment.