I tend to pretend I've got a laser coming out of my peepee when I'm drunk. Swaying back and forth, trying to cut the bowl in half. It doesn't work and luckily I don't make a huge mess.
If only I were a Freudian psychologist, I would have a ball with this thread....
I remember that Fark thread murbot, hilarious. Great insights too.
I once was peeing in the parking lot of a bar. Police car pulled up. Weren't too happy with me and what they found stashed in my pocket. All nighter in the slammer.
I like any situation that allows hands-free peeing. That includes the great outdoors and also the urinal when I'm wearing my bathrobe. I just open up the bathrobe (it serves as a natural divider, though there usually isn't anyone else using the urinals in my dorm's bathrooms just before I shower) and let fly.
I noticed that urinals are usually WAY too close together. I mean, I would never want anyone to be sneaking a peek, and there's no way I would, but it's still kind of uncomfortable. Your comfort zone when talking to someone is often about arm's length (if you're American at least). If urinals are going to be mere inches apart from each other, it would be nice if there were dividers. I mean, talking with someone you're familiar with is one thing, and you can get closer if necessary... peeing next to a total stranger is another.
Worst thing ever: The trough. I hate those things. If they're going to use those, why even bother with closed bathrooms?
..." Pursuant to this, toilet humor is not tolerated. It is expected that the membership can conduct themselves with enough maturity to avoid such idiocy."
I remember a bunch of older kids making fun of a kid in my class in grade 1. He dropped his pants to his ankles and let it fly at the urinal. Turns out this kid was right on.
I do this a fair bit. Drop the pants down to my knees, stand a bit closer to the toilet, and relaaaaaaax. Saves that whole hassle with washing your hands, too.
Wait a minute. On that subject. You guys wash every time? Personally I go with the George Carlin line of thinking on this one. He doesn't wash his hands every time. Why would he? He doesn't piss on his hands EVERY time.
Peeing outdoors is a revelatory experience if you haven't done it in a good while. A few years ago I hadn't been out to my grandparents' patch of land out in East Texas for a long time. So I go out wandering in their woods and let loose, absolutely fantastic after a year of peeing in a college dorm bathroom.
SMELL IT, ANIMALS, THERE IS A NEW KING!
I have to do it once every time I visit home. My parents' house has a big back yard with nice hiding spots to urinate. It is not as fun as out in the country, but it beats every urinal or toilet ever made.
Every year or so I geta nitwit roomate that thinks "if it's yellow it's mellow..." and they never flush.
They are always pseudo hippie types thinking they are saving the world by saving flushes.
News Flash:
The more piss sits around in the bowl, the more cleaning the bowl needs. That means we use more harsh chemicals as opposed to merely using water more often. Flush your damn piss.
Another reason it's stupid is that if I need to pinch a loaf, the last thing I want is God knows how many germs and nasty hippie piss splashing up on my exposed behind in the wake of my 6.0 flawed rip. So it's a flush before and a flush after. It's insulting that I have to flush "for" them.
How does having a bowl full of urine percolate for a few hours translate into saving a dolphin?
Comments
If only I were a Freudian psychologist, I would have a ball with this thread....
I once was peeing in the parking lot of a bar. Police car pulled up. Weren't too happy with me and what they found stashed in my pocket. All nighter in the slammer.
"Just marking my territory" - Jack Nicholson
I noticed that urinals are usually WAY too close together. I mean, I would never want anyone to be sneaking a peek, and there's no way I would, but it's still kind of uncomfortable. Your comfort zone when talking to someone is often about arm's length (if you're American at least). If urinals are going to be mere inches apart from each other, it would be nice if there were dividers. I mean, talking with someone you're familiar with is one thing, and you can get closer if necessary... peeing next to a total stranger is another.
Worst thing ever: The trough. I hate those things. If they're going to use those, why even bother with closed bathrooms?
I remember a bunch of older kids making fun of a kid in my class in grade 1. He dropped his pants to his ankles and let it fly at the urinal. Turns out this kid was right on.
I do this a fair bit. Drop the pants down to my knees, stand a bit closer to the toilet, and relaaaaaaax. Saves that whole hassle with washing your hands, too.
Wait a minute. On that subject. You guys wash every time? Personally I go with the George Carlin line of thinking on this one. He doesn't wash his hands every time. Why would he? He doesn't piss on his hands EVERY time.
uh wait... nevermind...
I was waiting for you to show up.
SMELL IT, ANIMALS, THERE IS A NEW KING!
I have to do it once every time I visit home. My parents' house has a big back yard with nice hiding spots to urinate. It is not as fun as out in the country, but it beats every urinal or toilet ever made.
Immediately after can be difficult. Like if you still have a full or half-on. Gotta practically hug the bowl to hit that angle.
They are always pseudo hippie types thinking they are saving the world by saving flushes.
News Flash:
The more piss sits around in the bowl, the more cleaning the bowl needs. That means we use more harsh chemicals as opposed to merely using water more often. Flush your damn piss.
Another reason it's stupid is that if I need to pinch a loaf, the last thing I want is God knows how many germs and nasty hippie piss splashing up on my exposed behind in the wake of my 6.0 flawed rip. So it's a flush before and a flush after. It's insulting that I have to flush "for" them.
How does having a bowl full of urine percolate for a few hours translate into saving a dolphin?
But we don't care about the stupid dolphins, we're just lazy slack-asses.
If it's yellow, let it mellow... if it's brown, flush it down.
Stupid. Especially if it's woman pee. That stuff goes toxic if left overnight.
Originally posted by murbot
I know people who do that.
If it's yellow, let it mellow... if it's brown, flush it down.
Stupid. Especially if it's woman pee. That stuff goes toxic if left overnight.
Plus, any one pee is fine. But once you mix 2 or more people's piss it is extremely foul.
Did everybody already know about this but me?
And if so, for god's sake why didn't somebody warn me?
Originally posted by DMBand0026
Sitting/Standing:
Standing, there is no other way. End of story.
Translation: Please sit down for peeing.
Originally posted by dviant
Another one to add to the Post-Sex Urination...
Immediately after can be difficult. Like if you still have a full or half-on. Gotta practically hug the bowl to hit that angle.
Originally posted by GSpotter
Translation: Please sit down for peeing.
Bingo!