Hm, so does anyone else use tp after taking a piss? I found that my underwear is a bit cleaner as the residual urine is gone. I also feel like a woman, especially when I sit (sometimes it doesn't like to go straight, sitting is better).
I had to go to "court" one time for riding my bike in a "walk" area of a park. The guy before me was there for a PIP. Pissing in Public. Some a-hole DePaul frat boy. I think he paid a fine.
its a pretty common offense. i was in for public consumption (now why is that a crime? well, i was underage, but i digress...), and as they rounded us into the court room, the dood was like "most of you are in here for public consumption and urination. if ya plead guilty, its like between 20 and 80...blah blah". about 50% of the people called before i was were for urination. its not that much of a crime really. what choice does a fella have? he's drunk, swaggerin down the street. most places dont take kindly to drunks barging in, pissing then leavin. a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
.
i just nearly had yet another pissing incident. twas on my way to a tatt parlor, for some a little artworking, and the liquid built up. i was like "crap," cuz i dont know where a micky dees or any restaurant was. well there was one place right near by, but i'd been there for a burger like two days ago, adn the places was crawling with roaches. so i was running up and down the blocks. not drunk, so i couldn't convince myself that the hundreds of people around couldn't see me. couldn't even find a dark alley as the pressure neared overflowing. 'ventually found a mcds, and was like "where the pisser." "you gotta buy something." "give me a small fries." i throw some money down, and go to the pisser, and it reaks and shit. those places are nasty sometimes. i dont think i even took the fries, as i left. ****in nazis. but i'm happy, cuz th tatt came out beautifully.
What's really tough, in sort of an enjoyable way, is trying to hit the dead center of an airplane toilet while experiencing turbulence. Even tougher, though, it trying to urinate, drunk off your ass, into soda/water bottles when you're in the back of the bus on the way back from a rugby game, while the bus is stuck in stop-and-go traffic on I-95.
I also take the time, whenever the opportunity presents itself, to urinate on the following cars:
Ford Mustang
Ford Lightning
Cars with ludicrous decals
I usually hit the hood and make sure to aim for the openings in the hood, if any. After than the target of choice are the headlights, for no good reason. For the Lightning, I aim straight forward and hose down the grille.
On this maist engaging o' emerald-tinted topics might I reminisce back tae the groovy days o' PISCO - or piscoteque tae give it its full name. I'm sure I'm no' the only one here who used tae groove on doon back in the 70s, strutting a' the gallus moves on the dance floor under the spinning porcelain ball.
At a pre-arranged signal frae the DJ we'd line up ( line dancing style) lift oor kilts and let forth a mighty stream o' pee in time tae the music. Efter a bit o' Earth, Wind and Fire, Bee Gees and Rose Royce the whole floor wid fairly be awash. Ironically Credence Clearwater was a big favourite (especially Bad Moon Arising which had a fine beat tae synchronise the flow with). YMCA was a favourite wi' some but getting the 'Y' and the 'M' was murder.
I can still remember a' the moves - 'point at the ceiling', 'the lariat', 'the twirl'.
Och aye - fine days as lang as it was somebody else's turn for the mop and bucket.
I'm just guessing, but I bet that cone was developed for female soldiers. The designers had to come up with something that was easy to pack, cheap to make, and disposable. I wonder whether a male or female designed it. Probably a male.
I've never seen or heard of the cone either. So don't feel like the only one. It *is* strange that no one seems to be mentioning it. Hmmm. Wonder why?
This is funny. I was writing a NSFW article on the whole woman-not-understanding-why-men-miss-the-toilet thing and just googled to see if anyone else had similar problems... it seems so (AS I FIGURED). I'd suggest you head over to http://www.theeverymanscritic.com, click the "op-ed" section across the top, and click on the article entitled "The Trouble with Toilets." Being men, you'll probably get a kick out of it. Also, please do the man-race a favor and let all women read this. Trust me, they need to know why and how we suffer daily.
P.S. - It uses adult language and some imagery. Please don't go there unless you are over 18 and can stand the fact that adults use adult language.
Comments
Originally posted by billybobsky
sometimes you just need to go...
i have to admit i have urinated on a wall or two in my time...
A wall??? Hell my list goes way past wall.
Fence, bush, tree, street-light, someone's front door, glass door, car door, car window, dumpster, someone's tent... etc..
To sum up... many drunk nights.
i wasn't drunk.
Originally posted by Scott
I had to go to "court" one time for riding my bike in a "walk" area of a park. The guy before me was there for a PIP. Pissing in Public. Some a-hole DePaul frat boy. I think he paid a fine.
its a pretty common offense. i was in for public consumption (now why is that a crime? well, i was underage, but i digress...), and as they rounded us into the court room, the dood was like "most of you are in here for public consumption and urination. if ya plead guilty, its like between 20 and 80...blah blah". about 50% of the people called before i was were for urination. its not that much of a crime really. what choice does a fella have? he's drunk, swaggerin down the street. most places dont take kindly to drunks barging in, pissing then leavin. a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
.
i just nearly had yet another pissing incident. twas on my way to a tatt parlor, for some a little artworking, and the liquid built up. i was like "crap," cuz i dont know where a micky dees or any restaurant was. well there was one place right near by, but i'd been there for a burger like two days ago, adn the places was crawling with roaches. so i was running up and down the blocks. not drunk, so i couldn't convince myself that the hundreds of people around couldn't see me. couldn't even find a dark alley as the pressure neared overflowing. 'ventually found a mcds, and was like "where the pisser." "you gotta buy something." "give me a small fries." i throw some money down, and go to the pisser, and it reaks and shit. those places are nasty sometimes. i dont think i even took the fries, as i left. ****in nazis. but i'm happy, cuz th tatt came out beautifully.
I also take the time, whenever the opportunity presents itself, to urinate on the following cars:
Ford Mustang
Ford Lightning
Cars with ludicrous decals
I usually hit the hood and make sure to aim for the openings in the hood, if any. After than the target of choice are the headlights, for no good reason. For the Lightning, I aim straight forward and hose down the grille.
Originally posted by addabox
Oh great.
I finally get some confirmation that I didn't just hallucinate The Magic Cone, and now I got the "Stadium Gal" to worry about....
You really make me laugh, addabox.
(That Magic Cone would've saved me a couple of *really* embarrassing moments.
put yer energies into something else
At a pre-arranged signal frae the DJ we'd line up ( line dancing style) lift oor kilts and let forth a mighty stream o' pee in time tae the music. Efter a bit o' Earth, Wind and Fire, Bee Gees and Rose Royce the whole floor wid fairly be awash. Ironically Credence Clearwater was a big favourite (especially Bad Moon Arising which had a fine beat tae synchronise the flow with). YMCA was a favourite wi' some but getting the 'Y' and the 'M' was murder.
I can still remember a' the moves - 'point at the ceiling', 'the lariat', 'the twirl'.
Och aye - fine days as lang as it was somebody else's turn for the mop and bucket.
Originally posted by Carol A
Hi addabox -
I'm just guessing, but I bet that cone was developed for female soldiers. The designers had to come up with something that was easy to pack, cheap to make, and disposable. I wonder whether a male or female designed it. Probably a male.
I've never seen or heard of the cone either. So don't feel like the only one. It *is* strange that no one seems to be mentioning it. Hmmm. Wonder why?
I also wonder where they're sold. heh.
with female adapter
Originally posted by burningwheel
with female adapter
AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!
One of the best things about Seattle.
Sorry I had to do it...
Originally posted by DiscoCow
How the hell did you do that? I need details. Lots of details.
http://www.karawynn.net/mishacat/faq.html
This site also addresses Giant's flushing issues.
YMMV
Originally posted by Sir Mac o' the Isles
Och aye - fine days as lang as it was somebody else's turn for the mop and bucket.
LOL! He has returned!
P.S. - It uses adult language and some imagery. Please don't go there unless you are over 18 and can stand the fact that adults use adult language.