Apple says Steve Jobs feeling a little under the weather recently



  • Reply 121 of 224
    Originally Posted by slicedbread View Post

    This comment is so stupid, I almost fell over laughing. Yeah, like George Bush, maybe--he's got a degree, right?

    Er, actually he has two. A Bachelor's degree in God-knows-what from Yale and an MBA from Harvard. I guess that extree book-larnin' gives Dubya what he need to bring dat dang-good presidentin' for all dese nigh-on eight years to Murica and we Muricans.
  • Reply 122 of 224
    celemourncelemourn Posts: 769member
    Ok, apparently none of you are aware of the secret insider information I possess. Allow me to enlighten you all. For all photographic evidence, please refer to THIS SITE.

    So, here we go. The secret is...

    Steve Jobs does not actually have any internal organs or skeletal structure.

    How is this possible, you may ask? Ah, it's simple. He is filled with pure, liquified EGO (Executive Growth hOrmone). It's what powers his Reality Distortion Field (the field generator is in the little toe of his left foot - you can see it when he wears sandals). Now, if we go back to 1997, when NeXT was acquired and Steve took over, (please refer to the above link for photos) you'll recall that he was looking quite plump. This is due to the fact that the RDF had been in disuse during the NeXT years, Steve having made relatively few public appearances. As a result, his stockpile of fuel was topped off, and ready to go.

    Fast forward to 2003. After successfully deploying his RDF in the launch of the iMac, iPod, and making some very fundamental changes to Apple as a company, we can see that his EGO reserves had been depleted somewhat. He slimmed down, and even lost a bit of hair (follicles contain super high concentrations of EGO). Apple was the better for it.

    Now we arrive at 2008. Steve has not only launched the third generation of iPod Nano, intel based Macs, the new form factor for the MacBook and MacBook Pro, the Mac Pro, and all the other wonderful little oddities of the last few years, but he has brought to fruition the iPod Touch and iPhone. These two, doubtless, have required the greatest expenditure of EGO so far, in what has been a monumental reshaping of the Cellular Backwater called America. We can tell by looking at all the phone makers (especially in China!) who are trying to copy the iPhone. The RDF has been working at triple capacity, and been doing double shifts.

    So you see, Steve isn't ill. He hasn't even lost much weight (EGO is incredibly buoyant in Earth's atmosphere, and may frequently be mistaken for hot air). He's simply deflating.

    So there you have it!

  • Reply 123 of 224
    celemourncelemourn Posts: 769member
    Originally Posted by macFanDave View Post

    Er, actually he has two. A Bachelor's degree in God-knows-what from Yale and an MBA from Harvard. I guess that extree book-larnin' gives Dubya what he need to bring dat dang-good presidentin' for all dese nigh-on eight years to Murica and we Muricans.

    *snicker* that comment is even funnier cause you're from texas!
  • Reply 124 of 224
    akacakac Posts: 512member
    Originally Posted by ouragan View Post

    Nonsense deleted - JL

    Doing just that would kill Apple. You just described 1994-1997.
  • Reply 125 of 224
    Originally Posted by Celemourn View Post

    *snicker* that comment is even funnier cause you're from texas!

    Only posting this cause I happen to know it.

    The degree is in... history. Not even kidding.
  • Reply 126 of 224
    Well, it's fully great that you don't run the company because I'm sure none of us would be here if that were the case.

    Without Steve, Apple would just be another company. Hopefully, this is no big deal. Steve's an icon who creates equally iconic products. Gag me if Phil Schiller is the future of keynotes.
  • Reply 127 of 224
    wjhmhwjhmh Posts: 55member
    Whatever makes him weak can only make him stronger, keep up the fight Steve!
  • Reply 128 of 224
    cbswecbswe Posts: 116member
    I didn't think he looked unhealthy at all..
  • Reply 129 of 224
    codymrcodymr Posts: 28member
    I too noticed that Jobs looked thin when I saw the video of his address on Monday... he looked a bit frail when he moved around on stage. Also, I thought it curious that he had a lot of his Department Heads taking the floor for extended periods. This was before I started to read rumours of his heath online. In addition, a friend of mine was over and asked to see Jobs' keynote and the first thing he said was: "Wow! How old is Jobs now? He looks 80?!

    I hope it is what Apple is saying "... that Jobs is under the weather." That and the stress of launching a new product to market must take it's toll. Let's hope that's all it is. The world is a much more interesting place with him around.
  • Reply 130 of 224
    solipsismsolipsism Posts: 25,726member
    I'm so glad you aren't the CEO. Those are horrible ideas for multiple reasons.

    The only thing you got right was the 30%, but it's not marketshare, its what the stock price would fall to overnight if those poor business decisions were enacted.

    God save the Steve!
  • Reply 131 of 224
    vineavinea Posts: 5,585member
    Originally Posted by jcsegenmd View Post

    I didn't see anyone else notice the the profit margin on a £$200 iPhone is pretty slim

    observe, mes amis, a comment by Gregg Keizer, Computerworld July 03, 2007

    Apple's iPhone profit margin greater than 50 percent

    Tear-down analysis by iSuppli finds that $333 out of the $599 price for the 8GB iPhone is profit for Apple, a margin of nearly 56 percent

    Even if they sell 20 million that drastic a drop in price is an oddity, as the profit margin is pretty thin; $299 I could see, even $249, but $199? They'll be selling out at that price and not making a lot of money


    Because AT&T is paying out the rear to subsidize the $199 price point. Apple just shifted all the risk to AT&T by getting their money up front vs a cut of the revenue stream. Heck AT&T posted a warning about their margins and earnings due to the new iPhone despite the expected increase in customer base.

    Back on topic. Steve does look a bit gaunt but I guess we'll see at the next event if it's just cold+aging or something more dire.
  • Reply 132 of 224
    He looks fine, the guy was never fat to begin with.

    I think if you do all he does, you could be forgiven for catching the odd cold or just stressin yourself out. Big whoop.
  • Reply 133 of 224
    marcusmarcus Posts: 227member
    Just looked at the pictures in this thread and I am absolutely *shocked*. From that I saw, Steve looked like he should be anywhere apart from on that stage.

    The last time I saw detailed pictures of a Keynote was in 2005/2006, and the contrast to now is just huge. I really don't want to say it, but at WWDC he reminded of my Dad when he was going through Chemo, and the months afterwards.

    Pale, fragile, gaunt, and really hugely thin (and he wasn't exactly fat in 2005!). Seeing his jawline and neck, and how it looks now is just shocking. Emaciated.

    I really do hope he is in good health, and it was as Apple have said 'just a cold', and I don't want to be negative, but he really did look in a bad way...

    WWDC 2005:

  • Reply 134 of 224
    solipsismsolipsism Posts: 25,726member
    For comparison..

  • Reply 135 of 224
    ... !

    People seem to be using the most unflattering picture of Steve. It's like he's trying desperately to blow a bubble from blu-tac!

    I'm sure it's nothing serious. What is?! He's looking a bit thin ... bloody hell, he's not -that- much thinner! If it is something serious I hope to heaven he's ok, but I just don't see it. Fingers crossed.
  • Reply 136 of 224
    celemourncelemourn Posts: 769member
    Ok, that's seriously not funny any more.
  • Reply 137 of 224
    celemourncelemourn Posts: 769member
    Ok, actually, the more I think about this, and the more posts I'm reading in retaliation to this one, the more convinced I'm becomming that...

    He's a Troll.

    I could be wrong, of course, but this is just too perfectly inflammatory. Every single thing he listed is precisely the kind of thing to set us all off.

    Soooo... YHBT I bet?

    Spammy, Is that YOU?
  • Reply 138 of 224
    Originally Posted by SpamSandwich View Post

    NOTE: I have no idea why, but every time I "quote" someone my reply is placed in the wrong time position in these threads.... ADMIN!!!

    you always seem to have this issue every so often, danged annoying
  • Reply 139 of 224
    Probably Steve is just suffering from what many of us suffer from - getting older. The hands are the give away. Bugs have a real way of messing one up the older one gets!
  • Reply 140 of 224
    I think FSJ has the real scoop on this one:

    I always go to FSJ when I need to find out what's really going on with Apple (and the Democrat nomination for that matter)

    Here's why they didn't announce the new MacBooks on Monday...

    So now you know!

Sign In or Register to comment.