The Grammar Rant Thread!

Posted:
in AppleOutsider edited January 2014
Dear People of the English Speaking World:



Learn to use the friggin' apostrophe.



Here's a quick lesson:



Used to be (i.e. prior to about 800 AD) that English had case endings like in Latin. The (genitive) case ending that indicated possession was "-es." It still is that way in German.



So. If I wanted to say "Midwinter's grammar rant thread," I'd write "Midwinteres grammar rant thread."



Eventually, the apostrophe emerged in the 17th century to make things a little easier for us. You see, an apostrophe in a word means that something has been omitted. What's been omitted? The "e." And so "Midwinteres" becomes "Midwinter's."



And so on and so forth.



What's your grammar rant?
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Comments

  • Reply 1 of 148
    dave k.dave k. Posts: 1,306member
    Who the hell besides you cares about this stuff in a internet forum. We aren't writing scholarly journal articles.



    Most of us quickly respond to other posting. I don't always care about perfect grammar in this environment. Do you follow grammar when you text message?



    Let it go man...
  • Reply 2 of 148
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    English doesn't have a gender neutral pronoun for the third person singular besides the uber-pretentious "one."



    Rant part: ENGLISH, YOU BASTARDIZED TONGUE!
  • Reply 3 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ShawnJ View Post


    English doesn't have a gender neutral pronoun for the third person singular besides the uber-pretentious "one."



    Rant part: ENGLISH, YOU BASTARDIZED TONGUE!



    English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.
  • Reply 4 of 148
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.



    And sound stupid?



    ( Oh no I dint!)
  • Reply 5 of 148
    jupiteronejupiterone Posts: 1,564member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.



    Unless you're from central PA, then it's younz.



    ( Never had to spell that out before)
  • Reply 6 of 148
    addaboxaddabox Posts: 12,660member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    English has a perfectly good plural gender-neutral pronoun: y'all.



    Ha! After I read Shawn's post but before I scrolled down I was about to post that "ya'll" should be recognized as the official plural "you" of the English language.



    I mean, clearly, head and shoulders above such ungainly constructs as "youse guys", "you-uns" and "all you".



    Just imagine the thrill of hearing Terry Gross, for instance, habitually saying things like "Now, ya'll have a new movie coming out, tell us about that."



    Southerners, however, would get to remain soul guardians of the mystery of the singular ya'll.
  • Reply 7 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by addabox View Post


    Just imagine the thrill of hearing Terry Gross, for instance, habitually saying things like "Now, ya'll have a new movie coming out, tell us about that."



    But by the same token, imagine Larry King habitually saying things like "I see y'all are wearing pants. Why don't we talk about that?"



    Quote:

    Southerners, however, would get to remain soul guardians of the mystery of the singular ya'll.



    Indeed. Equally sacrosanct is the most excellent "yo'mamma'n'nem."
  • Reply 8 of 148
    The internet's and text messenging's made grammer obselete.
  • Reply 9 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Flat Stanley View Post


    The internet's and text messenging's made grammer obselete.



    Indeed, although later today I have to help my uncle, Jack, off a donkey.



    LONG LIVE THE APPOSITIVE!
  • Reply 10 of 148
    jupiteronejupiterone Posts: 1,564member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Flat Stanley View Post


    The internet's and text messenging's made grammer obselete.



    Not to mention spelling.
  • Reply 11 of 148
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    The southern dialect.



    *Snooze*



    We've been there before. You haven't heard stupidity until you've heard people from Northeast PA talk. We've got our own wikipedia page and dialect. Here are some marvelous examples:

    Quote:

    Atha Leets

    If you're real good, you'll go on TV as the Atha-Leet of the Week, especially if you play for a semi-pro team like Berwick High School that recruits from a 10,000-mile radius.



    Aynit?

    This is an advanced form of "Haynit?", spoken mainly in deep, dark interior regions such as Ashley and West Nanny-coke, where anthropologists fear to tread



    Be-endat

    It's hard to find good halupki anymore, be-endat the Ackamees all shut down and Gerrity's is too busy setting up their chicken barbecues in the parking lot, smokin' up the neighborhood.



    Bott Tings

    It's the turd of the month and da checks are out, so we bott tings at Bosco's.



    Cattycorner

    Farley's is cattycorner from the courthouse, hayna?



    Da You

    That fine Jesuit institute of higher learning on Mulberry Street, not far from CMC where they pump alcohol out of kids' stomachs.

    Some people in the Wyoming Valley probably think it's called the University of Wilkes-Barre/Scranton.



    Down da line

    Pittston and points south.



    Fish Tix

    Mrs. Poll makes 'em.



    Hoddogs

    The boys at the hose house fry these suckers up on the grill when there ain't no fires on the scanner, just in time for Jerry Springer.



    Jeet jet?

    In other words, did you scarf down those Mrs. T's Pierogies in the freezer? The proper response is "No, jew? But don't worry, Dairy Dan is out there ringin' da bell right now, unless of course you're lactose intolerant."



    Korder

    15 minutes before or after the hour. "Honey, it's korder ta seven. Ain't doze fish tix done yet? I'm havin' a regular conniption fit in here kuzz the cable's busted and all I can pick up is the I-Team exposing stale donuts at the greasy spoon in Tunkhannock."



    The Kowney

    Who needs college? You can get a nice juicy job with The Kowney, laying down orange cones on the highway.



    Kupple-too-tree

    A kupple-too-tree hoddogs and a kupple-too-tree Meisterbraüs sure beats a Happy Meal, dammit.



    Onnakowna

    We better head over the bowling alley onnakowna there ain't nothing exciting happening on the scanner, Jerry Springer's over, and there's no WWF until tomorrow.



    I don't talk like this, being edjumakated and stuffs.
  • Reply 12 of 148
    I hate stupid fucking commas in the wrong place. Don't use a comma if you don't need it or resolve your frigging clauses, stupid writing people.



    Once you see this one you start seeing it everywhere.



    "The Danish physicist, Nils Bohr was a very clever man."



    What? Denmark has had only one physicist in its entire history? And his name was Nils?



    Oh, you meant "The Danish physicist, Nils Bohr, was a very clever man." But you could have written "The Danish physicist Nils Bohr was a very clever man" and it would have been more elegant. And unless you were making a comparison you shouldn't have gone anywhere near the commas in the first place. I bet you weren't making a comparison, were you? No. That's what I thought.



    "The Republican candidate, Ron Paul said today 'Let them eat cake.' "



    Wait: I thought they hadn't decided who was going to represent the Party of God (no offence, Fellowship) in the elections.



    Oh, hang on: you meant "The Republican candidate, Ron Paul, said today 'Let them eat cake." But really what you meant, since you weren't making a comparison, you illiterate knobcheese, was "The Republican candidate Ron Paul said today 'When I get elected it's every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost with a pitchfork in the anus' " or something of that ilk.



    You get the picture.
  • Reply 13 of 148
  • Reply 14 of 148
    What the hell? A guy like Mojo can get a response on these forums but Dave K can't?



    I was waiting for something good to come out of that, and I get nothing...
  • Reply 15 of 148
    I'll take the bait...



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dave K. View Post


    Who the hell besides you cares about this stuff in a internet forum. We aren't writing scholarly journal articles.



    Most of us quickly respond to other posting. I don't always care about perfect grammar in this environment. Do you follow grammar when you text message?



    Let it go man...



    A few misspelled words I can deal with...but bear with me...



    Compare a discussion here to let's say a discussion in a cafe with another person. If that person can't communicate their point grammatically, will you pay attention? Will you stop them and correct them? More likely you'll save them the embarrassment and move on.



    Anyone who tries to direct a point or express their opinions in an online forum or via email and is sloppy or immature in their grammar, I totally lose interest and even suspect their credibility. The same reaction I would have in a real face to face discussion.



    Text messaging is dodgy, because I don't have a cell phone and much less would not care to text message people anyway.



    From the looks of it though, text messaging will be the bane of the Internet and World communication in general.
  • Reply 16 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by @_@ Artman View Post


    From the looks of it though, text messaging will be the bane of the Internet and World communication in general.



    wot do u mean lol any1 can c that u have a carrot in yr ass abt grammar
  • Reply 17 of 148
    outsideroutsider Posts: 6,008member
    I hate when people mix up their, there, and they're. They're different words people!



    Same thing with to, too, and two.
  • Reply 18 of 148
    I hate when people quote Friedrich Nietzsche.
  • Reply 19 of 148
    outsideroutsider Posts: 6,008member
    I hate when people quote Mickey Mantle (I mean, seriously, he was clinically retarded).
  • Reply 20 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Outsider View Post


    I hate when people mix up their, there, and they're. They're different words people!



    Same thing with to, too, and two.



    !!!!!
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