The Grammar Rant Thread!

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  • Reply 61 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by The Sprout


    1. I've seen newspapers omit the last comma before the 'and' in a list, like "crazychester is a scoundrel, a cretin and a knobcheese." It drives me crazy. Am I wrong to be driven by crazy by this?



    We will admit the terms "scoundrel" and "knobcheese" may be applicable on occasion, but we strenuously object to being called a "cretin" and we are most definitely not amused.
  • Reply 62 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crazychester View Post


    We will admit the terms "scoundrel" and "knobcheese" may be applicable on occasion, but we strenuously object to being called a "cretin" and we are most definitely not amused.



    I agree. Crazychester is an Aussi. A cretin would be a deformed/dwarflike person from the Alps.
  • Reply 63 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    I agree. Crazychester is an Aussi. A cretin would be a deformed/dwarflike person from the Alps.



    Mais non! A cretin is a retard; to whit, a congenital retard, retardicated (or more accurately 'retardified') by a wonky thyroid gland.



    Crazychester is Australian.
  • Reply 64 of 148
    Oh shit. I just looked up ret... 'cretin' on the wikipedia.org website, and yes, the word 'cretin' come from the Alps.
  • Reply 65 of 148
    flounderflounder Posts: 2,674member
    Knobcheese?



    I am offended by knobcheese!



    The proper word is smegma. Good old smegma......



    1.) It's a real word

    2.) It's a lot of fun to say.
  • Reply 66 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Flounder


    Knobcheese?



    I am offended by knobcheese!



    The proper word is smegma. Good old smegma......



    1.) It's a real word

    2.) It's a lot of fun to say.



    I just googled "smegma" and couldn't help but be struck by these results:











    One can only assume the latter is the unfortunate result of large quantities of alcohol.



    Anyway, the Wiki makes no mention of chip fat being a component of smegma. Rather, smegma seems to be a substance composed exclusively of genital secretions. This suggests that, while similar, "smegma" and "knobcheese" are in fact distinct substances.



    Or maybe, Hassan's smegma is just special.



    I warn you in advance that Wikipedia entry includes a picture with the caption:



    "Smegma allowed to accumulate long enough to become visible."



    Y'all may be interested to know that the term is one of the few English words referring to aspects of human genitalia that is of Greek and not Latin origin.





    I added that last bit to try and sound as smart as midwinter. But I really just read it in the Wiki.
  • Reply 67 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crazychester View Post


    Y'all may be interested to know that the term is one of the few English words referring to aspects of human genitalia that is of Greek and not Latin origin.



    Clitoris is of Greek origin.



    "Pussy" is, I believe, some kind of modification of a Greek word for "purse."
  • Reply 68 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by some dude in London


    Crazychester is as fragrant as a morning dozing in the shade of the catalpa tree, jasmine blossom drifting on the west wind like etc.



    1) Bloody genius, this line.



    2) Obviously inspired by e. e. cummings various usages of the abbreviation "etc." For example:



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by edmund estlin cummings


    my sweet old etcetera

    aunt lucy during the recent



    war could and what

    is more did tell you just

    what everybody was fighting



    for,

    my sister



    isabel created hundreds

    (and

    hundreds) of socks not to

    mention shirts fleaproof earwarmers



    etcetera wristers etcetera, my



    mother hoped that



    i would die etcetera

    bravely of course my father used

    to become hoarse talking about how it was

    a privilege and if only he

    could meanwhile my



    self etcetera lay quietly

    in the deep mud et



    cetera

    (dreaming,

    et

    cetera, of

    Your smile

    eyes knees and of your Etcetera)



  • Reply 69 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter


    Clitoris is of Greek origin.



    "Pussy" is, I believe, some kind of modification of a Greek word for "purse."



    I had a teacher in high school who claimed "quaint", while having the same meaning it does for us, was also an early variant of the "c" word.



    I've never been sure whether to believe this or whether it was one of those risqué things some teachers seemed to delight in coming out with at an all-girls Catholic school.



    Anyway, she reckoned that Andrew Marvel may have intended the use of the word as a double entendre in these lines from "To His Coy Mistress":



    "And your quaint honour turn to dust,

    And into ashes all my lust.

    The grave's a fine and private place,

    But none I think do there embrace."



    Ever heard that one before in your biz, midwinter?
  • Reply 70 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crazychester View Post


    I had a teacher in high school who claimed "quaint", while having the same meaning it does for us, was also an early variant of the "c" word.



    I've never been sure whether to believe this or whether it was one of those risqué things some teachers seemed to delight in coming out with at an all-girls Catholic school.



    Anyway, she reckoned that Andrew Marvel may have intended the use of the word as a double entendre in these lines from "To His Coy Mistress":



    "And your quaint honour turn to dust,

    And into ashes all my lust.

    The grave's a fine and private place,

    But none I think do there embrace."



    Ever heard that one before in your biz, midwinter?



    NOt that I'm an expert on the history of dirty words, but "cunt" is actually a really, really old term referring to rabbits. "Coneys." The reasons are obvious, I should expect.



    Well lord almighty. I was all prepped to say that your English teacher was a moron, and lo and behold, here's the OED entry for "quaint" as a noun:



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by probably some lunatic sending in made up citations


    The female external genitals. Cf. CUNT n.



    c1330 (?a1300) Sir Tristrem (1886) l. 2254 Hir queynt abouen hir kne, Naked {th}e kni{ygh}tes knewe. c1390 CHAUCER Miller's Tale 3276 This hende Nicholas Fil with this yonge wyf to rage and pleye..and pryuely he caughte hire by the queynte. c1415 CHAUCER Wife of Bath's Tale (Corpus Oxf.) 608 And trewely, as myn housbond tolde me, I hadde {th}e beste queynte [Heng quonyam] {th}at mighte be. c1576 T. WHYTHORNE Autobiogr. (1961) 128 A queint, A queint, hee kried bianby. 1598 J. FLORIO Worlde of Wordes, A womans quaint or priuities. 1659 G. TORRIANO Florio's Vocab. Ital. e Inglese, Dóndola, any thing, toy, fancy, or conceit to passe away the time withall, any dalliance, dandling, or wantonizing.., by Met. a womans quaint.



    Was apparently rare after the late c16.
  • Reply 71 of 148
    shawnjshawnj Posts: 6,656member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    Clitoris is of Greek origin.



    "Pussy" is, I believe, some kind of modification of a Greek word for "purse."



    On this subject, I never understood the "lay, laying, lain, laid, lie, lying, lied" distinction.
  • Reply 72 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter


    NOt that I'm an expert on the history of dirty words, but "cunt" is actually a really, really old term referring to rabbits. "Coneys." The reasons are obvious, I should expect.



    Umm..........actually, not really.





    Well, I'll be. Miss What's-her-name might really have been onto something.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter


    Well lord almighty. I was all prepped to say that your English teacher was a moron, and lo and behold, here's the OED entry for "quaint" as a noun:



    Quote:

    Originally Posted by probably some lunatic sending in made up citations

    The female external genitals. Cf. CUNT n.



    c1330 (?a1300) Sir Tristrem (1886) l. 2254 Hir queynt abouen hir kne, Naked {th}e kni{ygh}tes knewe. c1390 CHAUCER Miller's Tale 3276 This hende Nicholas Fil with this yonge wyf to rage and pleye..and pryuely he caughte hire by the queynte. c1415 CHAUCER Wife of Bath's Tale (Corpus Oxf.) 608 And trewely, as myn housbond tolde me, I hadde {th}e beste queynte [Heng quonyam] {th}at mighte be. c1576 T. WHYTHORNE Autobiogr. (1961) 128 A queint, A queint, hee kried bianby. 1598 J. FLORIO Worlde of Wordes, A womans quaint or priuities. 1659 G. TORRIANO Florio's Vocab. Ital. e Inglese, Dóndola, any thing, toy, fancy, or conceit to passe away the time withall, any dalliance, dandling, or wantonizing.., by Met. a womans quaint.





    I especially like this example:



    "c1415 CHAUCER Wife of Bath's Tale (Corpus Oxf.) 608 And trewely, as myn housbond tolde me, I hadde {th}e beste queynte [Heng quonyam] {th}at mighte be."



    I bet he did. Sounds like he wanted a fuck if you ask me. Gives a whole new perspective to the term "bragging rights".
  • Reply 73 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crazychester View Post


    Umm..........actually, not really.



    Um. Rabbits reproduce because they, um, fuck like bunnies.



    Quote:

    I especially like this example:



    "c1415 CHAUCER Wife of Bath's Tale (Corpus Oxf.) 608 And trewely, as myn housbond tolde me, I hadde {th}e beste queynte [Heng quonyam] {th}at mighte be."



    I bet he did. Sounds like he wanted a fuck if you ask me. Gives a whole new perspective to the term "bragging rights".





    I'm going to take some time tomorrow and look at Hamlet—specifically the exchange between Gertrude and Hamlet—to see if there's any "quaints" in there. Har!



    God I love stuff like this. When I was finishing my undergraduate work, one of my professors tried to push me into the History of English/Linguistics because I seemed to have a knack for it. I went into another sub-field. Sometimes I wonder whether I made the right decision...this is fun!
  • Reply 74 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter


    Um. Rabbits reproduce because they, um, fuck like bunnies.



    Telling me "coney" was another word for rabbit probably would have been more helpful. We call them rabbits, bunnies and various names not fit for a family-friendly forum but "coney" is not one I've come across before.



    Quote:

    I'm going to take some time tomorrow and look at Hamlet—specifically the exchange between Gertrude and Hamlet—to see if there's any "quaints" in there. Har!



    God I love stuff like this. When I was finishing my undergraduate work, one of my professors tried to push me into the History of English/Linguistics because I seemed to have a knack for it. I went into another sub-field. Sometimes I wonder whether I made the right decision...this is fun!



    Are you familiar with Mr Quislibet? I've probably posted it here before. Still one of the funniest things I've read on the internet. I, too, would marry this man sight unseen like many of the commenters. It stands to reason he would be supremely entertaining and good in bed. And looks aren't that important after all.



    The original (Sir Mix-a-lot "Baby's Got Back"):



    Quote:

    I like big butts and I can not lie

    You other brothers can't deny

    That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist

    And a round thing in your face

    You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough

    'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed

    Deep in the jeans she's wearing

    I'm hooked and I can't stop staring



    After Mr Quislibet has done his thing:



    Quote:

    magnae clunes mihi placent, nec possum de hac re mentiri.

    (Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.)

    quis enim, consortes mei, non fateatur,

    (For who, colleagues, would not admit,)

    cum puella incedit minore medio corpore

    (Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body)

    sub quo manifestus globus, inflammare animos

    (Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits)

    virtute praestare ut velitis, notantes bracas eius

    (So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches)

    clunibus profunde fartas(*1) esse

    (Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?)

    a! captus sum, nec desinere intueri possum.

    (Alas! I am captured, nor am I able to desist from gazing.)



    Keep us updated on how many "quaints" you find in Hamlet.
  • Reply 75 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    ...some lunatic sending in made up citations...



    Well we do know our famed Dr. Minor was an institutionalized loon after all. Just one of his little jokes, no doubt.



    (Finally something I could contribute to this thread to make me seem, in pretense, half as intelligent as the rest of you!)
  • Reply 76 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crazychester View Post


    Telling me "coney" was another word for rabbit probably would have been more helpful. We call them rabbits, bunnies and various names not fit for a family-friendly forum but "coney" is not one I've come across before.



    And of course we're discussing the origins of the word "cunt" in a family-friendly forum.
  • Reply 77 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by crazychester View Post


    Telling me "coney" was another word for rabbit probably would have been more helpful. We call them rabbits, bunnies and various names not fit for a family-friendly forum but "coney" is not one I've come across before.







    "There's only one way to cook a brace of coneys!"
  • Reply 78 of 148
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by other people on this forum View Post


    I wonder what the derivation of the word 'cunt' is? )



    I understood it's older than 'coney', having a really ancient Indo-European root. Like 'queen', to which it's related. If I remember, a a 'cunt' is a sacred well in Sanskrit, but it's also got lots of things to do femininity.



    In the Mahabharata, Kunti was the mother of the Pandavas, the good guys, one of whom was Arjuna, the co-star of the Bhagavad Gita. I think the Celtic version of Kali was also known as Cunti.



    I love this stuff too. I just can't ever remember it.
  • Reply 79 of 148
    brussellbrussell Posts: 9,812member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by midwinter View Post


    That'll be $5 or an answer to this question:



    Assuming that there is such a thing as the Oedipal phase, would a child in a same-sex family (say, two men) go through it? I've asked three psychologists and gotten three different answers.



    I can't get past that assumption, so where should I send the $5?



    Alternatively, I could just make up some shit, just like Freud did!
  • Reply 80 of 148
    midwintermidwinter Posts: 10,060member
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BRussell View Post


    I can't get past that assumption, so where should I send the $5?



    Here.



    Quote:

    Alternatively, I could just make up some shit, just like Freud did!



    That's what I told my students when they asked me the question.
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